The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

A Box Full of Darkness

This image zapped me yesterday and at first I didn’t want to look at it, or even acknowledge it. I much prefer to live in light than in darkness. Paradoxically, my work as a therapist over the past 3 decades has been with people who sit in shadow, cast out by those who were supposed to protect and nurture them. As I witnessed their pain, I would move to shine a torch, candle, flashlight…. whatever I had, so as to pull them out of it. I would sometimes metaphorically speaking, climb in with them. Not only would I do that with clients, but with friends and family members. That’s when it got tricky. The expectation (mine and theirs) was that I find ways to fix what was going on for them or find answers to their personal puzzles.


And then there were times when someone with whom I was in a romantic relationship, would foist their own box on me, as if somehow by accepting it, would prove that I loved them; a loyalty test. Those were the most challenging.

All the time, every day, these realizations come to me. Sometimes the box full of darkness was theirs’ that they ‘shared with me’ because they couldn’t carry it themselves and sometimes I willingly took it on. These days, I am open to help someone open their box and sort through it, without cleaning it up FOR them. Even more than that, I have come to acknowledge, that I too have a darkness box that contains age old fears, misperceptions and like Pandora’s Box, I kept the lid slammed and nailed down so the emotional demons wouldn’t escape. These days, I have asked them (and thus far they have complied) to peek out and not knock me over in an effort to get out. Looking at the picture above, I also notice that behind the lock is a glow that really IS  the gift contained within. Each one of my gremlins is indeed a teacher. That is the key that will break the chains.


Previous Posts

Say What You Need To Say
Lately, I have become even more acutely aware of the fragility of life and the tenuousness of what ties us to it.  In my lifetime, I have said goodbye to my grandmothers, my husband and my parents, as well as a few friends. I have let go of ...

posted 9:32:55pm Oct. 12, 2015 | read full post »

Creating A Life That You Love
In the past few days, events in my life have felt tumbled and tossed, necessitating regaining my footing, calling on family and friends for emotional support and guidance, and even more importantly, my deep and abiding faith that all is in ...

posted 8:47:15am Oct. 08, 2015 | read full post »

Down (sized) But Not Out
It's the news no one wants to hear. "Due to cost cutting measures, your position has been eliminated."  A job that I had been recruited for and dove into for more than a year, is no longer. My initial reaction was a mild emotional freak-out ...

posted 10:48:39pm Oct. 06, 2015 | read full post »

Wedding Wonders
One of my greatest joys in my role as an interfaith minister, is officiating at weddings. Although I have lost count, I estimate that I have married over 300 couples since being ordained in 1999. Mixed gender and same sex couples have walked ...

posted 10:09:09am Oct. 04, 2015 | read full post »

A Living, Breathing Dichotomy
Writing this while listening to my favorite radio station, WXPN, based here in the Philly area. Feet tapping along to the music, bopping into my day. Harry Connick, Jr. is serenading me at the moment. Awoke at the crack of dawn as has been my ...

posted 8:43:12am Oct. 01, 2015 | read full post »


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