Advertisement

The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

Savior Behavior

Photo

 

I  am thrilled  to say that my invisible Wonder Woman cape and tights are in the Jeep (along with my faerie wings, which are tangible and colorful)… and I don them less often these days. Once upon a time, they were standard wear for this recovering co-dependent, caregiver, people pleaser, feeling like Mighty Mouse singing “Here I come to save the day!” Not sure if I come by it genetically or by example since my parents were the go-to people among their circles, who could be counted on to be there in times of crisis. My career path led me to become Ms. Fixit and in my personal relationships, my social worker’s ‘rolodex’ brain cards have been thumbed through so many times that they are dog eared. The truth is, no one needs rescuing and while I  have information and experience that are helpful, I am no expert on anyone else’s life and needs. I am a willing guide along the way.

Advertisement

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to allow myself the freedom to leave the Wonder Woman facade behind. I attended a retreat called The Woman Within which is an event I have been encouraged to experience for many years. Several of my friends have taken it and had marvelous breakthroughs. I welcomed that as well and was delighted that when all was said and done, my transition from where I was to where I am, took all kinds of leaps; some of faith that I would safely land. I was determined to savor the time just for myself; rare indeed for this woman who feels that nothing I do is for me alone. My healing heals the planet….all that stuff which may be true AND I really am permitted to have personal joy. Going into the time away, I told the organizers that if they saw me attempting to fix, save, heal or otherwise exhibit ‘savior behavior, they were to call me on it. I was off duty. Within very short order, an opportunity arose to test my mettle. I was asked to take on a leadership role and as my ego chirped….”How cool! They know you are a natural born leader.” and my Sally Field Academy Award speech persona chimed in “And I can’t deny the fact that you like me. Right now, you like me!” My inner knowing creature, looked at me with kind and compassionate eyes, wagging finger and loving smile and said “Don’t you dare.”  Saying no has not always come easily to me. It felt really good this time.

Advertisement

Throughout the weekend, I faced multiple challenges to my resolve. Each woman there had her own particular story that had me wishing I could offer answers, wanting to charge in there to fix the situation. Knowing that I couldn’t do it, even had I not made the promise to myself since it was not my role, was painful….literally, head throbbingly so. I needed to sit with my emotional discomfort and it wasn’t until I acknowledged my own loss, pain and sadness; my real human vulnerability that the headache dissolved and I saw clearly that my help was not requested or required. I rest my cape~

www.womanwithin.org

 

Previous Posts

It's A Beautiful Morning
The peeking in sun woke me up before my intended arising time. Clearly, the day had other ideas for how I should be spending its first few hours. I so wanted to tumble back into slumber, but it wasn't gonna happen. Rolled over, turned on the ...

posted 8:32:31am Apr. 18, 2015 | read full post »

Professional Reader
It's clear that I am a professional writer. It is my right livelihood work that brings me such joy that it is sometimes overwhelming. I'm grateful that The Muse sees fit to shower me with ideas at all hours of the day and night. As I mentioned ...

posted 8:35:05am Apr. 15, 2015 | read full post »

Writing in My Sleep
  With every good intention, I climb into bed, nestle beneath the covers and close my eyes. I am aware of the silence in the room that is palpable. I rarely set the alarm clock, unless I absolutely have to be up at a certain time, since ...

posted 10:32:26am Apr. 13, 2015 | read full post »

Love Bubbles
A few days ago, I trekked from my bucolic Bucks County, PA home to the hustle-bustle hectic hangout of NYC. I was eagerly anticipating meeting two Facebook friends Sherri Rosen and Kurt Koontz.  I had developed distance relationships with both ...

posted 6:48:42pm Apr. 09, 2015 | read full post »

Woven Threads
  Today, I was looking at the pattern on one of my favorite scarves. It is green and gold, red and pink, blue and white; a near rainbow array of hues. I love to wear it, since it has a festive feel to it, like being wrapped in ...

posted 11:15:45pm Apr. 06, 2015 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.