The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

Living With A Heart-On

Although I like giving credit where it is due, I have no idea of the identity of the artist who created this profoundly simple image. If anyone knows, please let me know. It speaks to me of an eternal truth; that the most important aspects of our relationships, have little to do with what’s on the outside and a whole lot to do with what lies beneath the facade we each wear. How did that armor or mask develop?  Perhaps it was created in the service of pseudo-safety. The thought that “If I don’t show you all of who I am, then you can’t hurt me.”  Sadly, that keeps us from really being SEEN, KNOWN and FULLY LOVED. It is when we ‘dare to bare’ our hearts to each other that we can engage in healthy relationships. Last night I taught a class for a group of social workers who were there to earn continuing ed credits (we need to renew our licenses every two years) and learn about co-dependence and boundary setting. For some of the folks, it was an affirmation of what they already knew and for others, some aha moments took place. Mostly it was about ‘gettin’ stretchy’ with their own awareness of the relationship dynamics that can play out for their clients and for themselves.  For me, it was about throwing off the Wonder Woman cape (although I told them that I had left it in the car with my faerie wings…I really do keep two pair in the car, since I am a clown and my character is a faerie named Feather) and becoming transparent. Scary at times, but these days, I find myself doing it more often for several reasons. The first is that for most of my life, I have had an image to maintain….zen mama, go with the flow, the go-to person, the get it done one, the keep on keepin’ on, tap dancing-people pleaser, everybody’s sweetheart. Last night, I shared that I am surrendering those roles bit by bit, since they don’t always serve. The second, that became abundantly clear when I read the evaluations, is that when I am genuinely sharing, it creates safety for others to do so as well.


I invite you to take a look at the relationships in your life to see where you may have been playing hide and seek with your heart. Do you keep it behind a wall of protection, fearing what will happen if you expose too much of it to the light of day?  Have you felt as if it is chipped and worn? Yesterday I interviewed Rob Jacoby (author of the Map To Love) on my Vivid Life Radio show called It’s All About Relationships. We spoke about the concept of the ‘broken heart’ and agreed that when we feel like that, it really is our heart expanding to allow more love in and yet, there are those who would shut it down for business instead. I prefer to see my broken places as those in which I can let in more light and love.

So today, I encourage you to dare to bare your heart to the world…. I’ll show you mine….. Let Your Love Flow-The Bellamy Brothers

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