Since I claimed my identity as Bliss Mistress, friends have been sending me all kinds of quotes on bliss. When I inititially saw this, my thought was “That Deepak dude really knows his stuff.” Like all of us, I imagine that he has had to face this dynamic over and over. I know I have…just about on a daily basis. Although I wouldn’t think of myself as a control freak, I do like to have a sense of structure and have been know to want things ‘my way’. As the Serenity Prayer has helped to keep me sane and vertical over the years, I am grateful that I can let go of the steering wheel in my audacious auto, relinquish control of my ‘vehicle’ and leave the driving to the Divine. I don’t always know the difference between what I can and can’t contol, so perhaps its best to do what I can and then surrender, which has been a theme of late.
The second component, about approval..that one is as prevalent and perhaps even more insidious, since it has been with me most of my life. Unlike many people I know, I grew up in a family with bunches of love, tons of praise and oodles of affection. I wonder now why I should be the exception to the rule. As a quirky result, I was so (even if unconsciously) afraid of losing it, that I learned to ‘tap dance’ and endear myself to people. I call ‘her’; the one craving center stage attention “Little Shirley Temple” who was everyone’s sweetheart. That might explain my penchant for movies featuring the curly top child entertainer who grew up to be a diplomat. She was ambassador to Ghana, The Slovack and Czech Republics. I can still do a great “Good Ship Lollipop”(: I am learning to refrain from putting too much stock in other people’s perception of me and yet there are still plenty of times when I base my actions on what someone else might see in me, or what I would want them to see in me.
The third comes into play when I ‘make people wrong’ for doing things differently than my values tell me they ‘should’ do. One day, I had a conversation with my friend Ondreah during which I asked if she would listen and hold space while I kvetched and expressed my pet peeves which are really solidly held judgements. She said yes and I was off to the races….about people who are smoking, drinking to exccess, doing drugs, being abusive, expecting other people to take care of them and clean up after them, who justify war and violence, who litter, who attempt to legislate what a woman can do with her own body, who steal and commit other crimes….. It really felt good to vent and then let it go.
Although it may feel challenging to relinquish control, release the need for approval and sit with all of the differences that may impact relationships, I noticed that it is far more rewarding and make for a more bliss-filled me.
ttp://youtu.be/1r4bbgv1If8 On The Good Ship Lollipop by Shirley Temple