When I went to bed last night, I chose to program a question to be answered by the time my fingers touched the keyboard this morning. I didn’t have a theme for today’s Bliss Blog, so I asked the Muse for a specific, definitive concept. Like lucid dreaming, it has worked for all kinds of creative geniuses and inventors throughout the ages, so I figured “What the heck?” Long about 4 :15 a.m., I awoke to the sound of some of my favorite kirtan artists named Deva Premal, Miten and Manose, singing a beautiful ode to do-overs, called Second Chance.
I hung my hat on a wishing tree
I asked for one wish – I could’ve had three
but I only asked for what I needed
could’ve asked for money, riches and wealth
but all I really wanted was to find myself
unaccustomed as I was to seeking
and my heart whispered inside and the moon rose and the angels sighed..
and they said… here comes your second chance
you’d better believe it open up and receive it here comes your second chance
take a deep breath, this is your second chance.
make peace with your mother and your father, too
make peace with the stranger inside of you
and forgive yourself for the things you tried and failed to do
embrace your anger, your lust and your greed
that’s how we drop the things that we don’t need
pick up a musical instrument or plant a seed
that was my heart whispering inside ‘welcome’ it said, ‘you’re home and dry’
[chorus] well the years went by and my wish came true
and i find myself here with you
i had to climb that mountain there was no way around it
and we all come and go like waves in the sea
each with our own responsibility
to leave this world more beautiful than we found it
that’s your heart whispering inside
and you know your heart, it never lied
And here comes your second chance….
Not quite wide awake at that hour, but not yet ready to dive back into sleep, I allowed myself the luxury of meandering through the pages of the past 53 years of my life and consider the many and varied do-overs and re-creations of myself. Fifteen years ago, I was immersed in severe self-doubt, second guessing nearly every decision, a co-dependent chameleon who changed colors lest I lose approval. Calling my caregiving tendencies an insurance policy against rejection and abandonment, I was an emotional contortionist would bend over backward to please people. Sometimes I cringe when I think about the me-that-I-was and then I reach out to ‘her’ in compassion, for if not for her courage in getting past the enmeshed, enabling, self-sabotaging behaviors, you wouldn’t be reading these words. So much has transpired in the interceding years; including the illness and death of my husband and parents, working with people with mental health challenges, relationship roller coaster rides, stretching my comfort zones with career choices, becoming a free lance journalist, interviewer and author, taking what I have learned (some through joy, some through sorrow) to guide other people through sometimes rocky terrain. I have learned to trust the guidance of Spirit, that it will lead me to serve the Highest Cause. These days, I still find myself (or, actually, lose myself) in inner critiholism, even as recently as this morning, which snarled at me, “If you’re all that, then how come…..?” (and I filled in the blank with a few of my not-yet-arrived-heart’s-desires). I quickly remedied the thought with the response of “Since you ARE all that, what you desire is here now and you welcome in the rest as it shows up.” and then I did a count my blessings list. All of this can be done in a heartbeat.
Today, my prayer is that I embrace any and all Second Chances that the Universe sees fit to offer, with grace and gratitude.
Thank you to my friends Miten, Deva and Manose for showing up in my dream last night(:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5QO66phajs Second Chance by Miten with Deva Premal and Manose