I wrote this entry on my facebook page recently and it must have resonated with folks, since many responded with support and encouragement.
“Confession time(: Realizing more fully how much energy it takes to be ON so much of the time; in high performance Tigger mode at my day job in a psychiatric hospital, my writing and speaking, promotion, regular workouts, being an emotional cheerleader by inclination. Feeling wiped at the moment, needing something restorative this weekend. Giving myself permission to feel whatever, instead of smiling all the time, when I don’t feel like it. I tell myself that pissing and moaning over what doesn’t feel so good, is a waste of time and energy and not a whole lotta fun. And yet…if I am fully human, then comes with the package…what we resist persists ?”
As a veteran caregiver, zoomer, type A, Wonder Woman, helium handed helper whose ‘savior behavior’ gets way out of control at times, I need some off duty ‘me time.’ With an unusually nothing scheduled weekend, I find myself sitting at my favorite gathering spot in suburban Philly, beautiful Bucks County, Doylestown, PA, called The Zen Den. Comfortably ensconced on a cushy sofy, backed up by pillows, facing a dormant fireplace, topped by a trickling water over stone fountain, I am in zen zone emotionally as well. One of my favorite delights; soy chai latte settled on the rough hewn wood bench/coffee table in front of me, I was just serenaded by Elton John ….Bennie and The Jets and before that, David Gates and Bread… Baby I’m A Want You; both harkening back to my teen years.
For the moment at least, my mind is not spinning out of control contemplating my growing list of things to get accomplished….passport details for a trip to Canada this summer, scheduling and promo for ongoing book tour events, a radio show to plan and host, weddings to officiate, cleaning to do, gardening to engage in….. I can just allow them to roll on past me, like leaves atop a flowing creek.
As I am typing these words, the song I Can See Clearly is now permeating the airwaves. These zen hands that have gotten accustomed to taking care of so much, are, for the moment, taking care of me.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIqLsGT2wbQ I Can See Clearly Jimmy Cliff
http://youtu.be/e0m0_0bkdxY David Gates and Bread… Baby I’m A Want You
www.youtube.com/watch?v=QjUk3Bp16zs Bennie and The Jets by Elton John