The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

The Quality of Our Thoughts


This morning at dark o’ clock; 4-something, I woke with the message from the Divine  that I need to be in charge of the content and quality of my thoughts in order to see the highest yield. Nothing new in that statement, but it landed with an impact that stunned me. Although most people would see me as someone who thinks only loving, positive thoughts, there are times when resentment, anger and frustration scoop me up and run away with me, leaving a fire breathing dragon stench in its wake..YUCK! I know, that like every other person on the planet, I have a shadow. My friend Scott Kalechstein Grace wrote a parody of Carly Simon’s song You’re So Vain, called You’re So Light and one of my favorite lines is “You’re so light, I’ll bet you think you don’t have a shadow.”


Here’s what author and speaker Debbie Ford has to say about Shadow Work:  “The shadow contains all the parts of ourselves that we try to hide, deny or suppress. It is the keeper of all the aspects of ourselves that we dislike and
the qualities that we judge as unacceptable. The shadow wears many faces: angry, critical, fearful, lazy, controlling, selfish, weak, pathetic. ”

“The process of embracing our shadow side calls us to uncover the gifts and receive the wisdom hidden within each and every aspect of ourselves, particularly the ones that we are ashamed of or embarrassed by. Rather than viewing our weakness, our smallness, our insecurities or our rage as enemies or as obstacles to moving forward in our lives, this process guides us to embrace our so-called defects as the powerful teachers that they are.dow contains all the parts of ourselves that we try to hide, deny or suppress. It is the keeper of all the aspects of ourselves that we dislike and the qualities that we judge as unacceptable.”


Whoa, Nelly!  Does that ever resonate for this recovering co-dependent caregiver who has kept emotions under wraps  so as not to offend or feel rejected? Kind of a niceness insurance policy that carries with it the illusion that if I don’t step on anyone else’s toes, they will return the favor by not treading on mine. Not always so, as I have found. Why would I want to embrace an aspect of myself that I had worked so hard to banish from the Queendom? Part of the reason, as was told to me by my dear friend Janet whom I have known since the early 1980’s, is so that people could really get to know me and so I could be authentic.  It takes a slew of energy to keep a metaphorical beach ball under water. These days, although I am still diplomatic and appropriate in my communications, I am saying what I used to withold, coming clean with people rather than tiptoing around them or walking on eggshells.


I am noticing that as I take responsibility for my thoughts and feelings, I am attracting others who are willing to do the same.

Where in your life have you been hiding the true you?

Are you willing to dance with your shadow and get to know him or her as an ally and not an enemy?

What are the quality of your thoughts? You’re So Light by Scott Kalechstein Grace

  • Nancy Smeltzer

    My shadow self was so hidden,(worked really hard, I did, to keep it under the rug), that when I discovred it, I wrote a whole story and made an art quilt about learning to love my inner urchin.

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