I was just speaking with my friend Christine Baeza who has been in the fashion and promotion industry for 23 years. She is a powerhouse in her own right and the wind beneath the wings for so many people. I am blessed to be one of those she helps keep aloft for the past nearly 3 years since we met while working on what I called Team Transformation for Common Ground Fellowship as we brought Michael Beckwith and Rickie Byars Beckwith to Philadelphia. She is fire-y and passionate and a cheerleader for living a bliss-filled life. She is my fashion consultant, helping me to move my otherwise hippie wardrobe out and replacing it with a bit more of a polished look.
We were musing about the ways in which women internalize a message that we don’t do enough have enough, BE enough. Our wheels are spinning nearly ceaselessly as we endeavor to catch up with …..what? I think of it as imposter syndrome, this incessant need to validate ourselves externally, no matter how much we have accomplished. I know that there have been times when I have felt impatient with the speed (or lack thereof) that things seem to be happening in my life. Over and over I feel a need to prove myself, even though by most people’s standards, I’m pretty accomplished and the time frame around which things transpire is as it is, regardless of my protestations that it should be faster, better, easier. Blessedly, Chris and I also acknowledge a certain degree of comfort in our own skin. I am in my 50′s and she is a bit younger and both of us are enjoying being seasoned women. She and her husband just returned from Costa Rica (his country of birth) and she was regaling me with stories about the ways in which the culture oozes with glorious expressions of affection which invite women to feel adored. When you perceive yourself as being ooohed and ahhhed over, it may seem easier to internalize it.
Our conversation then turned to the idea of mentoring young women so that they know things can take off beyond their wildest dreams, with evidence offered by those of us who are now in the next phases of our lives. We are claiming our voices, our gifts, our sexuality, taking charge of our lives. In 2010, she was part of a project spearheaded by Marianne Williamson called Sister Giant: Rousing the Sleeping Giant of American Womanhood. In April of that year, Chris joined them on a trip to Kenya. What an adventure she had!
As a conscious heart-trepreneur, Chris is the founder of Nookies Pleasure Apparel which distributes elegant, fun and playful socks that keep women’s feet warm which, in turn, enhances sexual pleasure. Happy feet=happy heart and other body parts(:
Now does this sound like a woman who isn’t enough?
How can you embrace your enough-ness?
Make a list of things you accomplished today, the past week, month, year. Some days just getting out of bed feels like an accomplishment.
Look at your resume and if you don’t have one, create one.
Take time to clean one part of your house, fold laundry or do dishes. I know that even those simple things help me feel like I am doing something, when I feel slug-like.
Ask people who know you well and who are YOUR cheerleaders to list your achievements.
Celebrate them all and know that you are enough!