The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog


Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves

                                                                                                                    Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves by Amy Ahlers

 

Like it or not, most women you know, including the one in the mirror, has an ‘Innner Mean Girl’. She’s the one who yammers at you; editorializing about everything from the way you look, to the friends who have more success, better jobs, cars, partners,…heck,  lives! There are some of us, myself included, who have raised it to an art form. We bully ourselves in ways that we would never in a million years, treat someone else. In walks, Amy Ahlers; certified life coach, media darling and the cofounder; with Christine Arylo,  of the Inner Mean Girl Reform School, with her book entitled Big Fat Lies Women Tell Themselves: Ditch Your Inner Critic and Wake Up Your Inner Superstar. Her  intention was to provide, not only a wake up, but a shake up of all of the entrenched beliefs and limitations we hold onto that are holding onto us.

Amy opens the book with the ultimate truth:  “The most important relationship in your life is your relationship with you.”  The sad accompanying truth is that we are not very good friends to ourselves as often as we need be, in order to maintain a healthy balance.  She goes on to say that according to The National Science Foundation, approximately 60,000 thoughts cross our minds daily and most  are harshly self critical. Our very being reacts to that consistent flow of negativity as if we are fed poison. That kills off an awareness of our worthiness and thus our happiness and well being. Much like Dr. Emoto’s Messages From Water (which she references), we react on an unconscious level, taking on the mantle of parts of ourselves that we despise. It twists and distorts our psyche’ in the way that the water crystals were damaged by toxic words and thoughts.

From that launch pad, Ahlers reveals 59 lies we tell ourselves in various and sundry combinations. The book breaks them into categories such as:

Worth-  “I’m damaged goods.”  “I don’t belong.”   “I’m a total fraud.”

Money-  “I’ll never have enough.”  “Money is the root of all evil.”  “I am one of the have-nots”

Love and Relationships- “I need another to complete me.”  “If you really loved me, you would know exactly what I need.”  “If I forgive, I condone.”

Ahlers then counters each of the lies with the truth; offered with humor and grace and a strong dash of a loving kick in the tush to move  forward. Following that comes what she calls a challenge, which are grow it yourself exercises to stretch your perceptions.  One of the exercises which I did many years ago, was suggested by SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) and it is a wedding ceremony in which you marry yourself. The truth is, until you can fully embrace yourself, how can you allow someone else to fully embrace you? At the end of each lie section is an affirmation and inspirational quote.  Kind of like a Happy Meal with a toy inside to make your Inner Mean Girl take a break from her torturous tasks of beating you up.

I particularly enjoyed her observation of her three year old daughter Annabella admiring herself in her ballet tutu and wistfully wondering what it would take for women to remember the little girls that we were, free of self loathing and deprecation.

Ahlers encourages the reader to allow her Inner Wisdom to shine forth in what she calls The Three Step Process

 

1. Ask yourself what your Inner Mean Girl is saying.  (Really let her rant)

2. Close your eyes and ask what your Inner Wisdom knows. (Let this be your truth barometer)

3. Lock in that truth by using a physical gesture such as  placing a hand on your belly or heart . (This is a kinesthetic experience that helps embody the feeling)

By the end of the book, the reader is likely to feel elevated and inspired to confront the lies that have been running/ruining her life. Armed with a candle to shine the light of truth,  will make it easier to call out the erroneous thoughts, offer them compassion and send them on their way.

 

www.wakeupcallcoaching.com

 

 



Previous Posts

Sexpot With Stretchmarks
Imagine having your own personal cheerleader who enthusiastically reminds you that you are gorgeous, worthy, creative, brilliant and loveable. Would you believe her? Would you say "Who are you kidding? I'm overweight, under-paid, over worked and under-played." Jenny G. Perry is a Renaissance Woma

posted 10:35:58am Jan. 29, 2015 | read full post »

How Do You Create A Life That You Love?
  One of the most essential questions you can ask yourself,  is the one presented in the title of this article. We have a choice to experience an existence that takes us from the day of our birth to the day of our death, with the 'same old, same old' activities that is about getting by OR w

posted 9:29:54pm Jan. 28, 2015 | read full post »

Is Sleep Highly Over-rated?
    I had long believed and expressed that sleep was highly over-rated whenever someone would ask how I managed to maintain what I called a 'crazy-busy' schedule that included a full time job, several over-lapping consulting jobs, raising a child as a single parent after being widowe

posted 9:08:03am Jan. 28, 2015 | read full post »

The Gift of Vulnerability
A quote from one of my favorite books has set the stage for an ongoing process in my life. The Velveteen Rabbit is a tale of a little boy whose toys dispense wisdom to each other,  the child and the reader of this classic. The rabbit, who is a bit insecure and wondering if the tot will favor him, a

posted 10:17:06am Jan. 26, 2015 | read full post »

On the Elevator
  Yesterday I received a surprise in the mail. It was a tiny pocket sized book called Back To Joy that was compiled by author June Cotner. It contains tidbits of wisdom from the likes of Anne Lamott, John Welwood, Winston Churchill, Helen Keller, Rachel Carson, Og Mandino and someone else wh

posted 9:26:51pm Jan. 24, 2015 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.