The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog


Atty-tood Elevation

                                                              

 

I have read this message numerous times over the years and it never fails to light a fire under me  and provide a wake up call when I am tempted to get grumpy about life circumstances. Way too often, I find myself (or actually, lose myself) in those pity parties where the walls echo with my complaints, since I am usually the only guest there, so I wise up fairly quickly and leave.  It can take the form of kvetching about an interaction at my full time job, where my perception is that I am expected to do what seems impossible (miracle worker…social worker…same thing)  with people who have such sincere and severe needs and at times, unreasonable demands. It may look like not getting ‘my way’ in an interpersonal interaction. It may present like feeling unappreciated when someone asks “What have you done for me lately?”  And it may seem like things aren’t moving fast enough in my creative endeavors. 

Even though I have slowed down considerably since last year when my beloved Mom passed the day after Thanksgiving, I still have been keeping a schedule that might make most people’s heads spin. In the past week, I have worked at my full time job, went to a book signing for Mike Dooley’s Leveraging the Universe, which I wrote about yesterday, spending 3 hours or so prior to work and 3 hours or so afterward writing articles, doing marketing for my book, which just came out, setting up my own book signings, prepping for a class I am teaching with my friend Peggy this coming week, went to the gym several times, activities with friends, attending a concert/kirtan with Deva Premal, Miten and Manose ,  planning a trip to Arizona…added to that ‘normal people stuff’ such as household responsibilities, as well as eating, sleeping, bathing and, oh yes…breathing.  And still, at times, I feel like I am standing still…what’s up with THAT?  Have I forgotton the adage “Delays are not denials”?  Apparently so.

The part of me that demands superhuman effort wants to see the results of my actions blossom more quickly and then the  spiritual amnesia that has had me in its grip, abates as I look at my accomplishments and where I was a year ago. The High Holidays have just passed and I have long viewed them as an opportunity to ‘take stock’ of where I was and where I am now. Twelve months ago, I was traveling back and forth from PA to FLA to be with my Mom on her hospice journey, wondering when it would be the last trip. I was questioning if I would ever complete my book, dragging my feet in fear, but calling it “I’m-too-busy-how-could-I-possibly-complete-it-in-the-midst-of-all-this-other-stuff?”  I dreaded handling her estate afterward, and yet, with the support and guidance of a financial advisor friend, am nearly complete with the major tasks. I question my grief process which has me feeling far less entrenched than I imagined I would be and yet, I know it’s perfect, since I am aware of  her presence so strongly at times. Tears flow when they do and then they cease and I move forward into the next moment.

I know ultimately that I am the only one in charge of my atty-tood and the only one that can shift from where I am to where I choose to be. I can cut myself some slack and as I did in the wee hours this morning before writing this, allow my monkey mind to have its say; screeching and complaining about what didn’t feel fair…’How come…why not….what’s wrong with this picture?”, rather than supressing as I sometimes do and then covering it over with shiny paper. One thing I have learned is that if you wrap dog poop in pretty paper and tie a ribbon around it, it is still dog poop. Instead, I have used the metaphorical mess as fertilizer for my dreams and visions. Once I did that, I was able to ask “What’s right with this picture?” and the answer arrived that it is again the exercise equipment that strengthens and stretches me.  And the rest is still unwritten…

 

http://youtu.be/TtGY4G7II6s  Unwritten  by Natasha Bedingfield



Previous Posts

Full Circle Experience
  With Christine Lavin and Julie Gold Had a full circle experience on Sunday, when I walked through the doors of the Unitarian Church at 21st and Chestnut in Philly to celebrate the 80th birthday and illustrious career of music legend Gene Shay. He had been the host of folk shows on

posted 9:50:13pm Mar. 02, 2015 | read full post »

Living With Grace, Flow and Ease-Book Review
  What if you could invite three angels into your home who would accompany you through your days, assisting you in having, as I like to refer to it, a 'rich, full, juicy life'? Would you issue a call and then keep the door open to welcome them in? Reading the book Living with Grace, F

posted 7:45:33am Feb. 28, 2015 | read full post »

The Sound of the Dove-Music Review
  "If you could combine the compelling voices of fellow Canadians Sarah McLachlan and Loreena McKennitt, with the soaring throat notes of kirtan singer; best known as Madonna's back up singer, Donna DeLory, you would have a sense of the magnificent tonings and tunes of Pamela Jane Gerr

posted 3:59:41pm Feb. 26, 2015 | read full post »

Bucket List
I awoke in the wee hours this morning, from a dream about my parents. Both passed in the last few years; my dad in 2008 and my mom in 2010. They were the dearest people in my life; teachers, guides, providers, cheerleaders and guardians of my heart and soul. Although I know that they are safe and so

posted 9:43:22pm Feb. 24, 2015 | read full post »

Living in Your God-ness
There are some people who come into our lives at a point in time when we are entering a new way of being. They plant seeds and are not necessarily a regular part of our days. Kind of like music in the background that puts a smile on your face when you hear it. Such has been the case with my friend

posted 10:52:02am Feb. 23, 2015 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.