“Remembering that the Butterfly becomes the Butterfly, because of the tight confines of her cocoon. She needed that time. That experience served her well. It made her wings strong…… Focusing on the flight!!”
Sleep eluded me most of the night, before I arose to write this missive for You to find.. Since the home of the Bliss Blog is a spiritual website, I have the blessing of writing about matters of the soul. This is one of them. I have long considered myself a woman with a deep and solid connection to the Divine in all of its grand and glorious forms. Growing up in a loving family with parents who ‘walked the talk’ and lived their beliefs in all they did, I had fine role models. In the midst of ‘life stuff happening’, they always reminded my sister and me that things work out for the best; as my father would say “As long as we love each other.” and my mother would add “What will be will be.” And we did and it was.
In my daily work as a social worker-writer-therapist-speaker-healing catalyst, I remind people that love trumps fear and that they have survived every challenge that has ever occurred in their lives, because they are here to tell about it. Sometimes those words feel profound, sometimes they ring hollow. At the moment, they are a lifeline for me.
When I look at my life, I see that I am surrounded by loving family and friends, amazing opportunties to stretch and grow, miracles unfolding, the spaciousness to express my creative gifts, glowing health, a keen mind, an awareness of what is good and whole and holy….and yet, at the moment, I am also achingly aware that my beloved parents are not here in body, that I have encountered major unexpected expenses, my dreams for myself seem to be taking way to long to manna-fest and that I sometimes feel simultaneously stretched/stressed/compressed beyond what seems manageable.
I have ongoing dialogues with the God of my understanding and ask, not “Why is this happening?'” but “What are my next steps?” At the moment, I feel the compression of the chrysalis tight around me and a bit of the confinement that speaks of uncertainty. I am immersed in a training called Zoetic Workshops right now that at the onset, had me pondering the question “What do I want to experience in it?” The answer was “Trusting myself.” I have so many decisions to make in an overwhelming number of areas and the image that comes to mind is that of a hollowed out portion of the beach in which water had poured and it lies empty for ever so brief a time, and then fills up again. It seems as if no matter how much I clear space, it doesn’t lie open for long.
Much of last night was spent pondering what to do about the choices that are clamoring for attention, for which I have no immediate answers. Living in the ‘just don’t know’ of them is where the anxiety resides. Bleary eyed with a full day ahead of me, I am still encompassed by the chrysalis. I welcome the spreading of my wings in free flight~
In the midst of all of this soul searching, I discovered a card that had been given to me by a friend more than 10 years ago. In water color, with a rainbow stretching over a mountain and river, the words “With God, all things are possible.” remnided me that I am not alone in my decision making and with that Energy as my spiritual advisor, I can indeed trust myself.