The Bliss Blog

The Bliss Blog

Control Freak

Ever feel like your life is a roller coaster ride and some days all you can do is sit tight, buckle your seat belt and hang on? If you are like most people, the answer would be an unqualified YESSSSS~! 

Each day, we awaken to uncertainty; not knowing what awaits around the next corner. Things are constantly shifting and changing; the nature of life. My friend Jody Kessler has a song called No Solid Ground in which she sings about the idea that the sands are always shifting and that nothing lasts forever in the same form; the essence of Buddhist principles. At every turn, I have found, there is a choice to be made. Do I succumb to the ‘fates’ or take charge of my own response to them? 


While, according to my son, I can be a control freak at times, more often than not, I am letting go of the incessant need to control and instead, allow myself to go with the flow. I ask myself how much I really believe that a Divine Power/Energy has my back.  In 12 step parlance, the word God is translated to the acronym Good Orderly Direction. When I pay attention to the guidance, there is no need for me to control anything or anyone.

I question what it is that I truly can control and then I need to do it. I know that I am responsible for my thoughts, feelings and actions. While on the elliptical at the gym, I pondered this question. I decide how much I work out and for how long. I choose what to put into my body. I choose my attitude and intention for each day, not knowing what I might face at work on any given day, since it such an unpredictable setting. A Course In Miracles refers to miracles as “a shift in perception” and so I shift them moment by moment. Not always easy, but ultimately rewarding.


I live by the Serenity Prayer, written by Reinhold Niebuhr as well


God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

And then there are times when I used a shorter version:  “It is what it is.”  My Mother had a Que Sera Sera attitude which served her until her final breath this past November 26th  “What will be, will be.” was her sage answer when asked what was happening with her at the end of her life.

I find that as frightening as it might feel, letting go into God gives me permission to relinquish the need to control and paradoxically, allows for better outcome, which is what I desire in the first place.  Why didn’t I think of that before?  Oh, right, I did, but then I forgot that I did; which is what I call ‘spiritual amnesia’ and then I have to remember it all over again. Kind of life that roller coaster ride; only this time, I am able to raise my hands above my head, rather than white knuckling it as I grab ahold of the safety bar….WHEEEE!



  • Marta

    Thanks for reminding me of the sillyness of thinking we’re in control. Life really is a roller coaster ride for all of us to enjoy. I find shifting my awareness into the idea of ‘flow’ is helpful. If I allow myself to go with the flow – I relax and enjoy the ride. If you’re interested in playing with creative possibilities join me and an adventurous tribe of inner-explorers setting off on an amazing journey this Saturday. It’s a free for all thing and you’re invited:

    • Edie Weinstein, MSW, LSW

      Control is an illusion, in my book. <3 and it's highly over-rated, as much I like to hold onto it.

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