There is no end to Christian tacky in America. I once went to a CBA convention (Christian Booksellers Association) and thought I had died and gone to Christian tacky heaven. There was a Gold’s Gym guy bench pressing a cross, there were all sorts of Christian flags and license plates and coffee mugs and purses. There were Christian lines of cologne or perfume (“Song of Solomon”– ‘smell like a king, attract a great queen’). There was men’s pommade (“look slick like Pastor Rick” or “You too can look like a TV evangelist”. I wasn’t sure if that was a selling feature). And of course there were endless T-shirts– some of my favorites were the biker ones– “Drive by faith, not by sight” or “God’s last name is not Dammit” or “If you miss heaven, what in hell will you do?”

Then there was the Christian boxer shorts for men. For Methodists there was the cross and flame boxer shorts, so you could remind your family members of your denominational loyalties while trapsing around the house. My personal favorites in this line were the Wittenburg Door’s boxer shorts which said on the left back side “left behind” and on the right back side “right behind”. I need a pair of those in case I am raptured while not fully clothed. There was Baptist swimming trunks which proclaimed— “I’m all wet, how about you”.

Of course there were bumper stickers, some more in your face than others. One, which is also on a T shirt, says “Terrorists have killed 3,000 Americans since 1990. Abortionists have killed 4,000 unborns since yesterday” or in a similar vein “Jews did not choose genocide. Blacks did not choose slavery. Unborns did not choose abortion”. Then there was “Get stoned like Paul: Stand your Ground”.

You have to wonder—- What would Jesus say about all this, and all in the name of making an almighty dollar?

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