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Friendships Archives

When a Friendship Ends … Are Friends Like Shoes?

posted by Beyond Blue

A friend who watched my video on friendships ending wrote me an e-mail with the most beautiful analogy . She said: As I was listening to you and watching the video, I thought about friends as being shoes in my […]

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12 Ways to Make (Good) Friends

posted by Beyond Blue

I was really sad to read that so many Beyond Blue readers don’t have four friends whom they could ask to compile lists of positive qualities in order to start a self-esteem file. It seemed that almost one-fourth of the […]

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7 Steps to Closure When a Friend Dumps You

posted by Beyond Blue

I think we’ve all been dissed by a friend at least once in our lifetime, right? Recently I’ve had two people remove me as a friend on Facebook. Like that feels good. Was it my annoying status updates? The singing […]

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Video: When a Friendship Ends

posted by Beyond Blue

This video was produced awhile back, when I was letting go of an important friendship. But I seem to always struggle with friendship … boundaries and so forth. I think friendships are just as complicated as romantic relationships. Especially when […]

13 Ways to Make Friends on Mermaids of the Lake

posted by Beyond Blue

A cool website and “lifestyle publication for women and creative, smart, fun articles” called “Mermaids of the Lake” published my blog, “13 Ways to Make Friends” on their site yesterday. You can find their site at mermaidsofthelake.com!

You Deplete Me: 10 Steps to End a Toxic Relationship

posted by Beyond Blue

“You complete me.” You know that line, right … from “Jerry McGuire”? It comes right before “You had me at hello” (another puker). The completing-the-other bit nauseates me a tad because we relationship-analyzers (some with the right initials after their […]

8 Steps to Closure When a Friendship Ends

posted by Beyond Blue

Friendships are like marriages. Some evolve into mutually supportive and life-giving bonds while others grow more and more unhealthy, or even toxic. When a friendship ends–abruptly or subtly; via e-mail, phone conversation, or personal confrontation; with words or silence–I believe […]

12 Ways to Make (Good) Friends

posted by Beyond Blue

I was really sad to read that so many Beyond Blue readers don’t have four friends whom they could ask to compile lists of positive qualities in order to start a self-esteem file. It seemed that almost one-fourth of the […]

When Two or Three Are Gathered: On Spiritual Friendships

posted by Beyond Blue

I’ve long known the truth of Martin Buber’s line: “When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.” It’s the same message that Jesus speaks in Matthew 18:20: “For where two […]

7 Steps to Closure When a Friend Dumps You

posted by Beyond Blue

I think we’ve all been dissed by a friend at least once in our lifetime, right? Recently I’ve had two people remove me as a friend on Facebook. Like that feels good. Was it my annoying status updates? The singing […]

10 More Ways to Make Friends

posted by Beyond Blue

From John Grohol … 10 more ways to make friends.

Toxic Friends: An Interview with Susan Shapiro Barash

posted by Beyond Blue

Gender expert Susan Shapiro Barash on her new book, “Toxic Friends.”

The 10 Types of Female Friends

posted by Beyond Blue

In her new book “Toxic Friends,” Susan Shapiro Barash describes 10 kinds of female friendships.

9 Signs Your Friend Is Toxic

posted by Beyond Blue

Here are some tips to find out who is your pal and who is your frenemy.

The 4 Kinds of Friends You Need In Your Life

posted by Beyond Blue

4 kinds of friends you need to keep you resilient

What Do I Do About a Toxic Friend? Your Responses

posted by Beyond Blue

what do I do with a toxic friendship?

What Do I Do About a Toxic Friend?

posted by Beyond Blue

A few weeks ago, a Beyond Blue reader asked me what to do regarding a toxic friendship. She wrote:   I’m in the process of dealing with a toxic friend. She is broken, in a different sort of way. We […]

12 Ways to Overcome Jealousy and Envy

posted by Beyond Blue

I have been told that envy is my least becoming quality. But what do you expect from a girl who grew up with three gorgeous sisters within three years of me? Cute junior-high boys used me to get to my […]

Dare to Be a Real Friend

posted by Beyond Blue

A friend of mine recently suggested that I ask God to personalize a meditation for me … to pick up either the Bible or some spiritual author and start flipping the pages until I feel my spirit move. This morning […]

Friends with (Sexual) Benefits: When Harry Met Sally?

posted by Beyond Blue

Can women and men just be friends? I don’t know. For the time being, I only befriend balding men over the age of 65. Oh, and gay priests. John Grohol over at Psych Central recently did some research on the topic […]

8 Steps to Closure When a Friendship Ends: On Psych Central

posted by Beyond Blue

If you have a minute and are struggling with an awkward friendship, you should read some of the comments over at PyschCentral.com on my post, “8 Steps to Closure When a Friendship Ends.” Among them: This article came into my […]

Are Facebook Friends “Real” Friends?

posted by Beyond Blue

I couldn’t resist linking to this post by fellow blogger Kari Henley. You can read her post by clicking here. I’ve excerpted a few paragraphs: Psychologists Wendi Gardner and Marilynn Brewer studied the ways people describe themselves and believe when […]

Depression: They Just Don’t Get It

posted by Beyond Blue

I’ve learned in 12-step support groups that if you decide to share something important with a loved one, or try to amend a broken relationships, you should do so without any expectation of a response. I wish I had followed […]

When a Friendship Ends (The Text Version)

posted by Beyond Blue

A few readers who couldn’t view my video, “When a Friendship Ends,” asked if I would write out the content in a text post. Here you go: Friendships are a lot like marriages in that some are healthy and some […]

Fresh Living: Friends for a Season or a Lifetime?

posted by Beyond Blue

Valerie Reiss asks some great questions about friendship in a post on Fresh Living. She writes: There’s something about betrayal or abandonment in friendship that often feels harsher than that of a lover. Partly because (and pardon if I sound […]

Melzoom: Heroic at Processing Feelings

posted by Beyond Blue

When Group Beyond Blue Co-moderator Melzoom forwarded me her most recent journal entry, I was blown away. Not just at how she can articulate her feelings, but at how she can feel them. I mean, really feel them. I have […]

What’s the Ideal Number of Friends?

posted by Beyond Blue

I can’t get off this friendship topic. My FRIEND James over at Finding Optimism (by the way, we just clarified our status … as fellow bloggers that are friends, meaning he and Anna get a Christmas card and Eric and […]

John McManamy: When a Friend Commits Suicide

posted by Beyond Blue

I was moved by fellow bloggers John McManamy’s tribue to his friend, Kevin, who commit suicide just six months ago. John has channelled his grief by producing an important suicide prevention video “The Road to Nowhere.” I urge you to […]

Continuing a Friendship After Losing a Baby

posted by Beyond Blue

The video post on Monday and other posts on friendship this week have inspired and uncovered lots of topics I hadn’t thought of … like how to continue a friendship after losing a baby. I have heard from my friends […]

Fresh Living: How to Break Up with a Friend

posted by Beyond Blue

I loved Holly Rossi’s post (at Fresh Living) on how best to break up with a friend. She brings up so many important issues: how to deal with the hurt, what’s the best technique, what to do when you just […]

On Breaking Up with Girlfriends

posted by Beyond Blue

I very much like this comment on the combox of my friendship video: This video post on friendship really hit home. I’ve had a lot of shame about having girlfriendships blow up. Now I can see that they were unequal, […]

On Finding Optimism: 10 Ways to Make Friends

posted by Beyond Blue

My FRIEND (not dumped, not getting dumped, hasn’t dumped me) James Bishop over at Finding Optimism has a great new design. His blog, which features the best mental health article for the day, has moved to www.findingoptimism.com/blog, and you will […]

Friends Are Like Shoes

posted by Beyond Blue

A friend who watched my video on friendships ending wrote me an e-mail with the most beautiful analogy . She said: As I was listening to you and watching the video, I thought about friends as being shoes in my […]

13 Ways to Make Friends

posted by Beyond Blue

From the number of comments (over 200) posted to my “12 Ways to Make Friends” article I now know that many of us are lonely and would love a new friend. So I’ve revised my post, added one more place […]

Group Beyond Blue: A Monthly Newbie Discussion Thread

posted by Beyond Blue

We’ve had several discussions at Group Beyond Blue (at Beliefnet Community) about how we can welcome the newbies into our community and how to be sure not to miss those who need the support but might not be as chatty […]

Group Beyond Blue: Jealousy

posted by Beyond Blue

Awhile back I started a discussion thread on jealousy at Group Beyond Blue (you can get to by clicking here). Check some great suggestions on what fellow depressives do when they start feeling green! To read more Beyond Blue, go […]

Sex and the City of Annapolis: That’s What Friends Are For

posted by Beyond Blue

I hate to disappoint you, but this post isn’t about sex. You already know all the details on my sex life, (and if you need a review, you can click here to read my post “Sex Night: Beyond Blue Balls.”) […]

People-Pleasing: Today Is Not Your Day

posted by Beyond Blue

I’m reading, and rereading this archive post this week. Today would have been a good day for me to wear the t-shirt that says, “I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow doesn’t look […]

5 Ways to Pick a Friend

posted by Beyond Blue

Thanks to reader Stephanie who sent me “It Is Better To Be Alone, Than In the Wrong Company” awhile back in an e-mail. It expresses the same wisdom that my mom articulated when she told me to “stick with the […]

Toxic Talk and Friendship

posted by Beyond Blue

“Isn’t personal conversation with girlfriends a good thing?” asks Washington Post Staff Writer Laura Sessions Stepp in a past story, “Enough Talk, Already.” Yes and no. This is what she found out: Social scientists are realizing that while talking may […]

Spiritual Friendships and Angels

posted by Beyond Blue

“So let me get this straight,” a friend of a friend said to me last night. “You drove eight hours up to Boston to stay with a woman you met on an Amtrak train two years ago, and with whom […]

The Tale of the Peacemaker

posted by Beyond Blue

At time throughout my life, I have relied on my spiritual friends–Mike (my writing mentor), Ann (my guardian angel) and others–to show me who I can be if I only dust off the dirt on my the mirror. When I […]

Guardian Angel Reunion

posted by Beyond Blue

Dear Beyond Blue readers, I can guarantee you that you are in fact at a better place in life than I am at this moment. Because I am currently driving eight hours up to Boston in a medium-sized car with […]

Amtrak and Guardian Angels

posted by Beyond Blue

For new Beyond Blue readers, click this post, “My Guardian Angel Ann,” to read about how I met my guardian angel.

The Doormat Syndrome

posted by Beyond Blue

Also on my post, “People-Pleasing: Today Is Not Your Day,” reader Michael posed this question: The hardest thing, for me, about setting boundaries, is that they not only keep the people I wish to keep out of my life out, […]

How to Approach a Friend?

posted by Beyond Blue

Along the lines of helping people to understand mental illness, I received the following question on my relapse post. I wondered what Beyond Blue readers have to say about how to approach a friend who is struggling with depression. Thank […]

Guardian Angel Update

posted by Beyond Blue

Thanks to reader Teresa who wrote the following question on my “Dear Guardian Angel One” post: I don’t wish to offend, when I say that Guardian Angel One sounds a bit controlling to me. I might add, it must be […]

Guardian Angels from Hell

posted by Beyond Blue

“Acknowledge miracles in your life. Angels are God’s miracle workers,” writes Jayne Howard Feldman, and Suzanne Siegel Zenkel says “Where there is goodness, there is an angel.” I’ve met an angel at every important crossroad in my life. One came […]

Dear Guardian Angel One

posted by Beyond Blue

Dear Guardian Angel One, I’m not angry with you. I was going to call you today to tell you all about it. I think you’re right about the politics. And I’ve told my editor that I don’t want to go […]

Dear Guardian Angel Two

posted by Beyond Blue

Dear Guardian Angel Two, I wanted to wait before saying anything to make sure I wasn’t anxious about anything else, and confusing my emotions, but I wanted to let you know that I left your place with some hurt feelings. […]

The Hurt

posted by Beyond Blue

My favorite children’s book doesn’t have beautiful, colored illustrations. It isn’t even hardback. It’s a $3.95 black and white paperback that explains to kids how to express their emotions. I read it to David and Katherine whenever I can find […]

Remember Your Containers

posted by Beyond Blue

In her book “The Highly Sensitive Person,” Elaine Aron talks about how highly-sensitive persons often have difficulties with boundaries (phew! I thought it was just me). “Many HSPs [highly sensitive persons] tell me that a major problem for them is […]

A Bad Compassion Day

posted by Beyond Blue

My hair is in place, but boy am I having a bad compassion day! This is where I went wrong: I read an op-ed entitled “Self-Help’s Slimy ‘Secret’” by Tim Watkin in the “Washington Post.” Not a smart activity given […]

Henri Nouwen on a Lost Friendship

posted by Beyond Blue

Whenever I am in “Infant Time,” thinking a person, place, thing, or situation will bring peace to my restlessness, I always hear my mom saying, “No person, place, thing, or situation can disrupt your serenity. That is up to you […]

Holy Thursday and Friendship

posted by Beyond Blue

Back in February, I mentioned that one of my New Year’s resolutions was to surround myself with people I admire. The person on the top of my list was Mike Leach, my writing/editing partner on several books, and a dear […]

Approval Ratings

posted by Beyond Blue

One of the unfortunate things about “coming out” as a depressive is that any enemy in your past can rightfully say, “Aha! See? I knew she was crazy.” I was not well liked at my first job out of school. […]

My Guardian Angel Ann

posted by Beyond Blue

I met my guardian angel on a train from New York City to Baltimore, a train I had to sneak onto because of an Amtrak strike. With people standing in the bathroom, in the café car, and in the aisles, […]

Previous Posts

Seven Ways to Get Over an Infatuation
“Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I” wrote US songwriter Lorenz Hart about the feeling of infatuation. It’s blissful and euphoric, as we all know. But it’s also addicting, messy and blinding. Without careful monitoring, its wild wind can rage through your life leaving you much like the

posted 12:46:43pm Feb. 19, 2014 | read full post »

When Faith Turns Neurotic
When does reciting scripture become a symptom of neurosis? Or praying the rosary an unhealthy compulsion? Not until I had the Book of Psalms practically memorized as a young girl did I learn that words and acts of faith can morph into desperate measures to control a mood disorder, that faithfulness

posted 10:37:13am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

How to Handle Negative People
One of my mom’s best pieces of advice: “Hang with the winners.” This holds true in support groups (stick with the people who have the most sobriety), in college (find the peeps with good study habits), and in your workplace (stay away from the drama queen at the water cooler). Why? Because we

posted 10:32:10am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

8 Coping Strategies for the Holidays
For people prone to depression and anxiety – i.e. human beings – the holidays invite countless possibility to get sucked into negative and catastrophic thinking. You take the basic stressed-out individual and you increase her to-do list by a third, stuff her full of refined sugar and processed f

posted 9:30:12am Nov. 21, 2013 | read full post »

Can I Say I’m a Son or Daughter of Christ and Suffer From Depression?
In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, we read: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” What if we aren’t glad, we aren’t capable of rejoicing, and even prayer is difficult? What if, instead, everything looks dark,

posted 10:56:04am Oct. 29, 2013 | read full post »

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