Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue


How Can I Make My Spouse Understand My Bipolar?

posted by Beyond Blue

I just received this question from an anonymous reader:

I have a question. I have bipolar and depression and the holidays are always hard for me as well as all most everyday of my life. My husband has a hard time dealing with it as well as the rest of my family. How can I make it easier on them and get through the holidays and most important save my marriage from my mental illness? My husband wants to fix it and instead he makes it worse.

Ironically, two days later, a friend sent me information on a new podcast distributed by Families for Depression Awareness, a wonderful site offering many resources to tackle the very problem you mentioned. One of their latest podcasts (to see a list of the podcasts click here) is titled “Family Communication” and features Laura Rosen, Ph.D., author of “When Someone You Love Is Depressed” and Trina Mallet, who talks about the support her family provided during her struggle with major depression.

Click here to listen to that podcast.

Families for Depression Awareness also has an online communities forum, which you can get to by clicking here.

Ultimately your best ally is going to be better education and better communication. One of the best bloggers on this topic is James Bishop at Finding Optimism. He has a great post called “Ways to insult someone with depression.” I would print this out and give it to your husband so he can be aware of the hurtful sting in some of his comments because people speak them with no intention of being mean (usually). Here are some of the statements James lists:

“This is what life is like. Get used to it.”

“Life isn’t meant to be easy.”

“Just snap out of it!”

“Pull yourself together.”

“Who said that life is fair?”

“You just have to get on with things.”

“At least it’s not that bad.”

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

“You have so many things. What do you have to feel down about?”

“You just need to cheer up.”

“Quit trying to be a martyr.”

“Stop taking all those medicines.”

“I know how you feel. I’ve been depressed for whole days at a time.”

“You don’t like feeling that way? So change it!”

Next, I would print out for your husband James’s post on “Ways to build up someone with depression” (get there by clicking here) because chances are good that your husband is clueless as to what you’d like to hear, what you need to hear. Here are three of James’s suggestions. For the rest of the list, visit his post (by clicking here).

1. Be On Their Side

The depressed person will often be defensive, so an accusatory tone is not helpful. Try to convey a sense of understanding. It isn’t helpful to say “Why can’t you just get out of bed?” Instead try “You seem to have trouble getting out of bed in the mornings. What can I do to help you in this area?”

The person may have lost perspective on how big a problem actually is. They will find it hard to hear that what is insurmountable for them is actually not such a big deal. It is unhelpful to say “What’s your problem? You’re upset about nothing.” Instead try “You seem to be finding this issue a big deal at the moment. Can we solve it together?”

When I was very sick, I often thought that my wife was trying to ruin my life. To counter that kind of thinking she would often say “We are a team. I am on your side.”

Depression is an awful illness, a whole world away from pure sympathy-seeking. So you should treat it as such. “I trust you. If you had a choice in the matter you wouldn’t choose to have depression. How about we search for some solutions together?”

2. Give Plenty of Reassurance

Many people suffering with depression feel unworthy of being loved. You need to reassure them frequently. For example “I love you for who you are. I am not going to leave you.”

In a similar vein, they may have lost the ability to recognize their positive attributes. You might reaffirm them with “You are a sensitive person who cares for others” or “People really love you a lot. They think you’re a great person.”

If said repeatedly and with absolute sincerity then it is helpful to say “If you ever need a friend, I am here.”

3. Give Understanding and Sympathy

People with depression can spend a lot of time ruminating on their situation and feeling sorry for themselves. Pointing it out to them is not helpful. Instead, try to sympathize.
“I can’t imagine how hard it is for you, but you have all my sympathy.”

“All I want to do is give you a hug and a shoulder to cry on.”

“I can’t honestly say that I know how you feel, but I want to help in any way I can.”

This is, perhaps, the hardest thing about our illness: we have cast, no physical evidence of our disease, to tell people to go gentle. But with enough education and better communication, many loved ones will come to appreciate our battle. (But maybe not around the holidays.)



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K

posted January 22, 2013 at 10:43 pm


The following link is not connecting. TY. Families for Depression Awareness also has an online communities forum, which you can get to by clicking here.

Read more: http://blog.beliefnet.com/beyondblue/2013/01/fridays-question-how-can-i-make-my-spouse-understand-my-bipolar.html#ixzz2IlarpLOM



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Miss Sonia

posted March 26, 2013 at 7:36 pm


Hi to everyone out there my name is Miss Sonia i live in Canada , i want to share and also thank a spell caster named DR.mercy who helped me when my husband,when he left me left me when i needed him most by side.
We had our happy life ever since we fell in love with each other,till we got married but all change.he started acting strange,i decided to look aside till i was pregnant for him everything got serious that he drove me out of the house and brought in another woman,i pleaded with him to see reasons with me that i was pregnant but he ignored me because of a woman.so i contacted a spell caster who helped me with spell to bring my husband back to me and i was so glad and happy and everything is back to normal as it is before.
So if any of you have any problem in any way don’t hesitate to contact him at his email at makospiritualtemple@gmail.com his powers are strong and i have felt it and it worked.



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Mrs Micheal

posted March 26, 2013 at 7:44 pm


I am Mrs Micheal from USA, i want to share a testimony of my life to every one. i was married to my husband john smith, i love him so much we have been married for 5 years now with two kids. when he went for a vacation to France he meant a lady called Mary?, he told me that he is no longer interested in the marriage any more. i was so confuse and seeking for help, i don’t know what to do until I met my friend miss Lina and told her about my problem. she told me not to worry about it that she had a similar problem before and introduce me to a man called Dr super who cast a spell on her ex and bring him back to her after 1days. Miss Lina ask me to contact Dr super. I contacted him to help me bring back my husband and he ask me not to worry about it that the gods of his fore-fathers will fight for me. He told me by two days he will re-unite me and my husband together. After two day my husband called and told me he is coming back to sought out things with me, I was surprise when I saw him and he started crying for forgiveness. Right now I am the happiest woman on earth for what this great spell caster did for me and my husband, you can contact Dr super on any problem in this world, he is very nice man, here is his contact superlovespell@gmail.com. He is the best spell caster on the internet so far his email:superlovespell@gmail.com



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Margret

posted April 7, 2013 at 9:49 pm


Great okpa!!! thank you very much i dont know how to thank you sir, you are really great, i never taught that Ramsey could come back to me after living me for good 2years without notice, i have been looking for how to get him back to my life.last week i went to visit a friend in Texas and this friend of mine knew about the relationship between me and Ramsey and she asked me about him, then i filled more pain and tears fell from my eyes, that was when she asked me why am i crying then i told her about everything,she now told me about dr okpa that she always hear about him here in Texas and she normally see some people giving testimony in how he helped them in getting back their loves, that when ever such programs up again that she will try and collect his number and his email address, that when she collect it she will text me his email, then in the next 2 days she called me and told me that she has collected his email address and his phone number then she text-ed them to me,so i called him and told him about everything how my love Ramsey left me, then he told me not to worry that he will come back to me within 24hours at first i said how could that happen that somebody who left me for 2years will just come back within 24hours but at the same time a taught came to me that if the people could talk about this man on television that means he is great so let me watch and see, that was how i waited, in the next 24hours which he told i got a call from Ramsey i was so surprised he was pleading and begging me to forgive him that he did not know what came over him, i was so so surprised because i t was like a dream,in the next 3hours after Ramsey called, Ramsey came to my house and start pleading for forgiveness, so that was how we started again and we are living happily than ever after,the most surprising thing was that he gave me access to his account to prove that he will never live me for any reason and am so happy now.Thanks be to clara my friend who introduced me to okpa,clara thank you evry much, and thanks be to dr okpa for helping me, in case you want his help or you want to thank him for me you can contact him via okpatempleofsolution@gmail.com or cell number +2348056563186

Margret from San Jose. ca, usa



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KAREEN

posted April 8, 2013 at 9:08 pm


My name is kareen from australia . I never believed in love spells or magic until i met this spell caster once when i went to Africa in Febuary this year on a business summit. I meant a man who’s name is DR. AIGBO he is really powerful and could help cast spells to bring back one’s gone, lost, misbehaving lover and magic money spell or spell for a good job or luck spell .I’m now happy & a living testimony cause the man i had wanted to marry left me 3 weeks before our wedding and my life was upside down cause our relationship has been on for 4years. I really loved him, but his mother was against us and he had no good paying job. So when i met this spell caster, i told him what happened and explained the situation of things to him. At first i was undecided, skeptical and doubtful, but i just gave it a try. And in 3 days when i returned to Canada, my boyfriend(now husband) called me by himself and came to me apologizing that everything had been settled with his mom and family and he got a new job interview so we should get married. I didn’t believe it cause the spell caster only asked for my name and my boyfriends name and all i wanted him to do. Well we are happily married now and we are expecting our little kid, and my husband also got the new job and our lives became much , please contact Dr Aigbo on his email if you have the same problem. since he has help me he can also help you spiritualhomeofproblem@gmail.com



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Tanny Morck

posted April 27, 2013 at 11:08 pm


My friends out there, am Tanny Morck from usa, am short of words i dont know where to start from, am just happy for getting back my love who left me for good 3years without calling or texting, i was in love with this boy named Patrick, we live together in love but suddenly he just changed and was in bad terms with me i know i never did anything wrong to him but he just decided to quite with me and the most painful part was that he was the one who broke my virginity so i love him so much but he never understood the love i have for him, so that was how he move away from New york, to San jose ca, and he never called me or texted for good 3years, his thought always come to my mind every minutes, so i have been looking for how to get him back to my life,so i have been contacting some spell casters happens to be scams, so i decided not to contact any spell caster,so there was a day i went to go and buy some papers, because am a reading type, so that was how i turned to a page and i saw testimony of love so i decided to read it then i saw how a man named Hudson was helped by Dr okpa in getting back his love,and i read that he also said it in radio stations,so i decided to wait if i will hear the testimony on radio too, so 2 days later i was watching television when i saw a man named harry was giving testimony on how this same Dr okpa brought back his wife and 2kids, i was so surprised then i had no doubt, immediately i contacted Dr okpa and i told him what i want he to me not to worry that he my love will come back to me within 24hours, i did not doubt him cause i have seen prove, so in the next 24hours which he said i got a call from Patrick he was pleading and begging me to forgive him, so the next day he came to my house in New york, in the presence of my 2 sisters he went on his knees pleading for me to forgive him, so i had to, then he said we should move to San jose ca, to stay, am writing this testimony in San jose ca,and am pregnant for him,and he bought me a new car and am happy now,you can contact dr okpa through okpatempleofsolution@gmail.com or cell number +2348056563186 for Help.



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MRS MARY

posted May 4, 2013 at 12:13 am


MY TESTIMONY

i am Mary from the united state, I want to say this explicitly for its of a surprise that regardless of the internet fraud, i could still meet some one this genuine, am not here to talk on relationship, so don’t be in the offing to hear that, but its something supplementary, for i seeked for a endorsement in my office for the past one year, but my boss asked me to lay with him, or no promotion, when i met dr dumedu he cast a spell for me and ask me to go to work and see what will happen, i went to work and saw my letter of endorsement waiting for me on my desk, just like that, i was so amazed, but i owe him the thanks….go to him for he will be of assistance, and please try to give him the chance he needs, for a chance might change your whole life…dumeduspelltemple@gmail.com



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wise

posted August 3, 2013 at 6:20 am


THE ONLY TRUTHFUL SPELL CASTER AND MY GOD WILL REWORD YOU

WONDERFUL MAN THAT GIVE MY FAMILY JOY AND HAPPINESS AND MAY MY GOD BLESS YOU

Dr ODUBU brought back my lover when others spell caster failed ME, he is the best spell caster on planet earth.
I have contacted several spell casters to help me bring back my lover and after my ex he left me and my son for 2 yrs and moved in with another woman and all this spell caster they usually promise me and at the end fail me.
Hello To The World At Large, I am Miss WISE, From united states of America. I will start by saying to all that have experience heart break and also cant do with out there lover should please stop here and read up my story, So as you will know how to go solving or getting your ex back from this spell caster AND AGAIN I WANT TO ALSO TELL ALL THIS SPELL CASTER, I WILL WANT TO TELL THE WHOLE WORLD ABOUT IS HARMLESS AND DO NOT HAVE ANY SIDE EFFECT, BUT TO RESTORE AND GIVE YOU BACK WHAT YOU DESIRE, COS WHEN I MEET WITH THIS SPELL CASTER THAT WAS INTRODUCED TO ME BY THE WIFE OF MY BOSS IN MY WORKING PLACE, HE MADE IT CLEAR THAT HE CAN CAST SPELL ON SO MANY OTHER PROBLEMS EXCEPT IN GETTING YOUR EX OR MAKING YOUR LOVER TO LOVE YOU MORE THAT WILL SUITE YOU. Last year December, My lover was cheating on me and was not also give me the attention that a man should give to a woman, And really that was troubling my mind and tearing my heart apart to the extent that i was not concentrating in the office the way i use to before the break up by my lover.And before that incident,I always see how my boss use to love his wife so much. I was binging to think that i was not doing the right thing to him that will make him love me forever, So i really gathered my courage and went to my aboss wife office to ask her the secret that made her husband love her so dearly,In the first place she refused in telling me,She asked me why i am asking her such a question,That if is it not normal for every man to love his wife.I told her the reason that made me ask her about this question, That my lover started cheating on me lately, When i knelt down before her for her to see my seriousness in this issue that i went to ask her, She opened up to me by telling me that i should not tell anybody about what she want to tell me, The wife to my boss started to say to me that she used a very powerful spell on his husband to love her, And the spell that she used is harmless, But the spell is just to make him love her and never to look for any other woman except her. I QUICKLY ASK HER HOW DID SHE GET TO KNOW THIS GREAT, POWER, DURABLE AND PERFECT WORK SPELL CASTER, she said that a friend of hers also introduce her to him. Then i also ask her how i can meet with this spell caster. SHE SAID EVERYTHING TO ME, THAT THE NAME OF THIS SPELL CASTER IS DR. ODUBU. My next question to her was how can i get this wonderful spell caster, She said she is going to give me the email of the spell caster for me to contact him for my problem, really she gave to me this spell caster email and i contacted him and explained all to him, And after every thing that needed to be done by the spell caster, In the next three days, My lover that hated me so much came to my house begging for forgiveness and i was so glad that i have finally gotten my heart desire..I was so grateful to this spell caster for what he has done for my life.. So i made a promise to him that i will always continue telling the world about his wonderful work towards me and also to other that came to you before and also the people that will also get to you from my story that i narrated online now..I will want to say to the entire world that you should not cry over noting again, That there is a great man that has been helping individuals to restore there Joy and smile !! The direct email to get this man is : {odubuspiritualtempledr@yahoo.com} ,This is what i want to tell you all out there, That is thinking that all hope is lost {+447012973504}.Thanks Regards, Miss WISE.



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JACOB WESTLEY

posted August 21, 2013 at 5:38 am


My Name is JACOB WESTLEY..I never believed in Love Spells or Magics until I met this special spell caster when i contact this man called osobaspelltemple@gmail.com Execute some business..He is really powerful..My wife divorce me with no reason for almost 4 years and i tried all i could to have her back cos i really love her so much but all my effort did not work out.. we met at our early age at the college and we both have feelings for each other and we got married happily for 5 years with no kid and she woke up one morning and she told me she’s going on a divorce..i thought it was a joke and when she came back from work she tender to me a divorce letter and she packed all her loads from my house..i ran mad and i tried all i could to have her back but all did not work out..i was lonely for almost 4 years…So when i told the spell caster what happened he said he will help me and he asked for her full name and her picture..i gave him that..At first i was skeptical but i gave it a try cos have tried so many spell casters and there is no solution…so when he finished with the readings,he got back to me that she’s with a man and that man is the reason why she left me…The spell caster said he will help me with a spell that will surely bring her back.but i never believe all this…he told me i will see a positive result within 3 days..3 days later,she called me herself and came to me apologizingI NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS UNTIL I MET THIS WORLD’S TOP SPELL CASTER. HE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE’S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I’M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE WOMAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS… I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HIM..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO USA, MY GIRLFRIEND(NOW WIFE) CALLED ME BY HERSELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND SHE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN’T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY GIRLFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HIM TO DO… WELL WE ARE HAPPILY MARRIED NOW AND WE ARE EXPECTING OUR LITTLE KID,AND MY WIFE ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HIS EMAIL ADDRESS IS;osobaspelltemple@gmail.com ……HOPE HE HELPS YOU OUT OUR OPPORTUNITY … CONTACT THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER VIA EMAIL:osobaspelltemple@gmail.com



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