Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue

Therapy Thursday: Honor Your Neurosis

pocket therapist front cover small.jpgI have decided to dedicate a post on Thursday to therapy, and offer you the many tips I have learned on the couch. They will be a good reminder for me, as well, of something small I can concentrate on. Many of them are published in my book, “The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit.

I used to try to separate my brain into two parts: good (productive) and bad (neurotic). Until I realized that was simply impossible because the sensitivity that produces so much of my pain is precisely what makes me the compassionate person I am.
The Buddhist nun Pema Chodron says this:


Our wisdom is all mixed up with what we call our neurosis. Our brilliance, our juiciness, our spiciness, is all mixed up with our craziness and our confusion, and therefore it doesn’t do any good to try to get rid of our so-called negative aspects, because in that process we also get rid of our basic wonderfulness.

Take Disney’s TinkerBell, for example.

She didn’t like being a tinker fairy. So she tried to become a water fairy and carry dewdrops to large spider webs. Instead, she evaporated all the dewdrops already on the web. So she attempted to become a light fairy and supply all the lightening bugs with their glows, only to accidentally light up her rear end. And then she endeavored to be an animal fairy and help the little birdies learn to fly. But in doing so she attracted a large, nasty hawk who wanted to eat the baby birds.


The sad fairy returned to her workshop and resumed her boring work of fastening widgets and pounding nails and chopping acorns. Until, one day, she stumbled upon a curious collection of metal pieces and parts. Gradually she began to assemble them into a magical, musical box. And in that moment, she was proud to be a tinker fairy.


I’m an obsessive-compulsive manic-depressive addict fairy. We can perform all kind of unique tasks that the water, light, and animal fairies can’t. And while I used to frown at all my neuroses, now I am seeing that there are things only I can do. In fact, the French writer Marcel Proust once said that “Everything great in the world comes from neurotics.” Yah! That’s good news for me!

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment JiLLB

    This really hit home for me. On top of that, you even used a Disney reference, which made it all the more special!

    I wrote down one line you said because it’s something I should remind myself of often: “…the sensitivity that produces so much of my pain is precisely what makes me the compassionate person I am.” It’s not something I think about, rather, I beat myself up and don’t see the positive part of who I am.

    Once again, Therese, thank you!

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Peg

    Thanks, Therese, you made my day!!

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment buck baker

    The black crow, wanting to be as beautiful as the peacock, took some tail feathers that the pea had dropped, put them in with his tail feathers and strutted around, however everyone knew who he was, so ———de rose ain’t de daisy, an de daisy ain’t de rose————–so why’s we all so anxious to be sumptim else dat grows. thanks for every mail i receive from you.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Deb (OLD FLY GIRL)

    Yes, this really hit home for me also. I recently tried removing one of my meds from mu regimen (dr.s permission) aa I thought it might be giving me problems with my weight. It did not work of course. (I’m not a Tinker Fairy as far as weight is concerned) I’m 61 yrs. old, but desire the figure I had when I was 30. Why? Does it make me any less lovable, less compassionate, less a natural giver & encourager? No. But going off one of my meds did! I wasn’t the Fairy I usually am at all, and I was very sad & withdrawn. Awful. I am who I am neurosis and all, chubby, with some ADD thrown in! That’s the Tinker fairy I’m supposed to be, I now see!

    Thanks for this post…you encouraged me today! Especially at a time when I am still waiting to ‘get back in balance’ on my restored med!

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment AnneS

    Wonderful post as usual. It made me wonder what kind of fairy I am! Thought-provoking! Thanks!

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Mary Anne Thompson

    As I read todays post I thought, she saw I changed my profile pic to Tinkerbell ! It’s all about me 😉 I do collect Tinkerbell things, even have a Tinkerbell tattoo so this really hit close to home with me. I am a Tinker fairy, always tinkering with things. Using my hands, being crafty and making things.
    Lately, I have felt like that though. Been and had xrays after my car accident Labor Day wknd that they said it was a miracle I walked away from. Been taking a mirage of med’s for pain, muscle relaxers….going through the guinea pig thing like we all do when trying to find the right drug combination for our mental imbalance. UGH, try mixing mental med’s and pain med’s….no fun. I have had alot of crying days, alot of sleepy days, trying to find a neuro surgeon now who will operate on my back so I can get off all the drugs I have to take for the pain. Just having to take anti depressants and anxiety med’s is enough. Oh, after the accident my Dr confirmed I now suffer from PTS and increased my Klonopin dose. Please keep me in your prayers. Fairies are like Angels they can fly when they take themselves lightly 😉
    love u, M.A.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Julia

    This couldn’t be more timely for me! I have always loved Tinkerbell and felt an identification with her…wasn’t so sure why, but now it all makes perfect sense! I have dabbled in many things over the years trying to find “my thing” and have only recently come to understand that IS my thing. All the things I do creatively and otherwise to express my me-ness make me uniquely who I am. Also, I’m 5 ft. tall and weigh 98 lbs. and just went on a zip line…I AM Tinkerbell!!

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Effy

    I like your post today. It is funny. I hope you are not feeling bad about yourself. You know people criticize me everywhere I am. They say nasty things about me because I am mentally ill. The friends that I used to have are no longer my friends. I have had to make new friends which is okay with me but this time they are nicer to me but I still miss my old friends and their superficialness. People say things about me that are not nice. Who cares? Everybody can’t like you.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Reshmee Govinden

    Each blog is as exciting as the other.yes the Tinkerbell, stupid , dumb, cow-dun, the fat black ass, who is mentally sick , yes every definition suits her perfectly but words are not enough to describe her, that ugly thing. You should write more about TinkerBell, please,please

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Alana

    Yes that’s the exact word depressive addict, she should be dipped in a barrel of boiling water.Do that to her please.

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