Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue

Therapy Thursday: Go In Not Out

pocket therapist front cover small.jpgI have decided to dedicate a post on Thursday to therapy, and offer you the many tips I have learned on the couch. They will be a good reminder for me, as well, of something small I can concentrate on. Many of them are published in my book, “The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit.

Here’s a piece of wisdom I’ve learned from the most spiritual guy on earth, my metaphysical hero of sorts, Mike Leach: you, and you alone are responsible for your happiness.


No one person, place, or thing can do the job for you.

I remember how relieved I was the first time he said that to me … as if my fate didn’t depend on picking the winning lotto number, or right relationship, or proper career, or on growing up in the perfect nuclear family where two stable, profanity-free parents would gather their emotionally nurtured, well-adjusted offspring around a cozy fire to discuss Homer’s the Iliad and the Odyssey … that I could be happy even in the midst of dysfunction.


Because there are lots of that where I live.

But the second part of this adage requires substantial perspiration and a love relationship with dirt. Because you have to dig deep, burrow into the compartments of your soul, and meet who is there. If she’s standing there naked with sagging breasts and a butt full of cellulite–with a pathetic vocabulary and low SAT scores–you have to accept and love her anyway.
I remind myself to “go in, not out” at least 67 times a day, because my first inclination is always to grab for something to make me happy. It’s easier to collect than to dig. But at the end of the day, you’re sitting in the midst of a bunch of crap that you’ve amassed, feeling empty with one more job to do: de-cluttering.


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  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Kevin Keough

    Lmao—love the way you describe this fundamental mental health truth. I don’t know if I do it 67 times a day or not. However, I have plenty of de-cluttering work to do so apparently I don’t always live this truth. That said, once I roll around in the dirt I know I don’t want to be anyplace else. Boys will be boys.

    Yah ! for you and an impressive 67 times a day !

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Skylark

    This is one to print and place right in front of the kitchen sink!!
    Better yet…I am going to run out and buy the Pocket Therapist and
    read from cover to cover…again and again I feel! until it is worn out….and I have it all down inside where I can tap into it!! Yea!
    Therese…a home run with this one!

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Heidi

    To help me with helping me to be happy I discovered Metta- meditation. It still is so overwelming for me to be allowed to give myself love and peace and happieness. Whatever I expect from somewhere else is inside of myself- o.k. it does need some digging sometimes but sometimes it is enough to just sit and wish myself well.

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