Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue

12 Ways to Keep Going

keep going.jpgA Beyond Blue reader recently asked me to forward this piece to her. I needed to read it again, too … to try to find the dogged determination within me to stay focused on hope, not hopelessness.

A woman who lives with chronic pain said to my mom the other day, “You can’t sit around and wait for the storm to be over. You’ve got to learn how to dance in the rain.”

That’s a perfect description of living with depression, or any chronic illness. But what do you do on the days you don’t think you can take the pain anymore? When you want so badly to be done with your life … or at least be done with the suffering? What do you do when anxiety and depression have spun a web around you so thick that you’re convinced you’ll be trapped forever in those feelings? When you want to switch places with the 85-year-old man in front of you at church because you’re thinking he’ll be out of here before you, and you wonder if you do the opposite of all the advice out there on adding years to your life, if you could possibly shave off a few from yours?


We’ve talked about this on various threads of Group Beyond Blue. From the discussions there and on the comboxes of Beyond Blue, I’ve compiled a few tools for moving past that harrowing darkness, suggestions on how to emerge from a place of panic, and techniques on how to dance in the rain.

1. Escape from the pain.

Lately, when my thoughts turn to death, I’ve been telling myself that I don’t want my life to be over … I want a reprieve from the pain. I’m usually at a loss on how to get there. I’m tired, frustrated, desperate, so my thoughts follow the path that has already been blazed throughout the years … and I fantasize about death, intoxication, or some other destructive behavior that doesn’t require a lot of imagination.


How else can I escape … in a positive way? Instead of romanticizing about death or inebriation from booze, I can research new kayaking routes, bike baths, hiking trails, and camping sites. I can invest the time I lose in unproductive and dangerous thoughts into planning creative outings for myself and for the family that will give me/us the reprieve that I’m craving. I can be proactive about finding sitters for the kids so that my thoughts won’t revert back to “stinking thinking.”

It’s so bloody hard to take that first step … to Google the state parks in Maryland that rent canoes, and to tune up my bike for a nice ride. But those are life savors. Because they afford me the positive escape that I need.


2. Track your mood.

An essential piece of my recovery is keeping a mood journal. This helps me to identify certain patterns that emerge. As I said in my “Me on the Bad Days” post, bipolar disorder and depression can flair up seemingly out of the blue, like a thunderstorm. But often there are telltale signs that can clue me in as to why I’m feeling so fragile. You can catch these if you’ve been recording your mood over time.

3. Solve the problem.

I noticed, after analyzing my mood journal for the last two months, that my sleep pattern went from eight hours of consistent sleep to ten. Katherine has been climbing into bed with us, and I’m afraid of waking her in the morning. So I’ve been sleeping in with her and skipping my 15 minutes of meditation. But that time in the morning is a critical piece to my recovery, and if I go over nine hours of sleep too many mornings, I begin to feel depressed. I also noticed that I am most depressed on Sunday evenings and Monday mornings. 


I put on my detective hat and ask myself why that is. Ah! Because I don’t get a break from the kids all weekend. My reserves are used up by Sunday night or Monday morning. Also, there is inevitably more stress on the weekends, trying getting all the week’s household jobs done, and less structure..

Once I could identify some possible triggers, I worked at finding a solution. I asked Eric get me up earlier in the morning, even if Katherine woke up with me. I decided we needed to hire a sitter, if only for a few hours on the weekend, to give us a small relief from the noise and chaos. And I got up early and went to church by myself on Sunday in order to squeeze a little structure and personal time into the weekend for me. Arriving at some small solutions–even if they don’t solve the entire problem–made me feel like I had a little power to shift my mood from panic to peace.


4. Talk about it.

I can’t get a therapy appointment round the clock, so I had better invest in some friends that won’t tire of me telling them that my thoughts are turning to mush again. Actually, more dangerous than mush. They are turning to death again.

Over the weekend I called two friends and my mom. “I’m going there again,” I explained. They know what THERE means … without my having to explain or justify. I don’t fully understand how gabbing heals, the scientific explanation of why venting does so much good, but I can surely attest to it, and confirm the connection between talking about something and feeling better. It’s like you’re a scared little kid in a lightening storm, and a neighbor, seeing that you’re locked out of your house, invites you inside and makes a cup of hot chocolate for you. Well, maybe it’s not that good, but it’s close, which is why our phone bill is way up this month.


5. Repeat: “I WILL Get Better”!

As I said in my video, “I WILL Get Better,” I think about my Aunt Gigi every time I wind up in the depression tunnel, and remember her repeating to me over the phone a few years back: “You will get better. Repeat that. You WILL get better.” Peter J. Steincrohn, M.D., author of “How to Stop Killing Yourself” wrote: “Faith is a powerful antidote against illness. Keep repeating – and believing: I WILL get well. If you believe, you help your doctor and yourself.” And this paragraph from William Styron’s “Darkness Visible” always reassures me:


If depression had no termination, then suicide would, indeed, be the only remedy. But one need not sound the false or inspirational note to stress the truth that depression is not the soul’s annihilation; men and women who have recovered from the disease–and they are countless–bear witness to what is probably its only saving grace: it is conquerable.

6. Take baby steps … a day at a time.

On mornings that I wake up with that nauseating, knot of anxiety in my stomach, everything seems overwhelming. Getting myself to the bathroom so that I can brush my teeth feels seems like a triathlon in August. So I don’t attempt the triathlon. I only have to worry about getting my left foot down on the ground. And then my right one. And then I have to stand.


I’ll look at my to-do list and cross off two-thirds of it. “What on this list do I absolutely HAVE to do?” I say so myself. Everything else can wait. And then I start with the first thing, and do the first mini-movement that I need to do in order to accomplish that. If it’s getting Katherine dressed, that means 1. Finding Katherine. (That’s harder than it sounds.) 2. Picking out an outfit. (Ditto.) 3. Helping her out of her nightgown and into her clothes. (That’s where my nervous system almost shuts down.) And so on. Each item on the list can be broken down into a dozen mini-steps.

The same approach applies with my mental anguish. If I wander into that “I just can’t take it anymore” rut, I remind myself that I don’t have to worry about feeling this pain two hours from now. This hour is all I have to get through. Or, if I can handle it, just one day at a time. Just a 24-hour period. As Dr. Steincrohn advised persons his patients with depression and anxiety:


Think of it this way. Just try to get through today. Take one day at a time. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life. It may be the beginning of a new life, free of most of your fears and nervousness.

7. Remember your heroes.

I also remind myself that many, many people have felt like this before, and they have survived. I guess it’s equivalent to a pregnant woman saying to herself, “Look, I’m not the first person to have a baby. Obviously some women survive labor pains.” I think about all the mental-health heroes in my life, especially the ones, like my Aunt Gigi, that lived full, productive lives. Frank Miller, M.D., writes this in the appendix of Jane Pauley’s memoir, “Skywriting”:


Prognosis is good in 85 percent of [bipolar] patients, and even when treatments fail, there is an absolute trend for individual episodes of mania and depression to resolve over time. When confronted with this illness, be patient with yourself or with your afflicted family member, and whenever possible, be proactive and courageous.

8. Look backwards.

Other people’s achievements can bolster your courage, and remembering your own can do the same. Beyond Blue reader Larry Parker gives himself this pep talk when he hits the panic point:

Larry, look at what you have survived. You’ve moved almost two dozen times in your life. You’ve been jobless. (Many times.) You’ve been (essentially) homeless. You went through a brutal divorce. You’ve even been hospitalized.


How does going there help Larry? Because he sees where he is today. He made it through. In his words: “Underneath my mental illness are simply enormous, even incalculable, mental reserves. And if my illness strikes again, I need to remember those reserves are there, even if I can’t get to them right now.”

9. Distract yourself.

Some days I’m just not worth much. All I can do is distract myself … to keep myself from thinking about how awful I feel. Just like Fr. Joe carved figurines out of soap when he was depressed, and Priscilla made jewelry to keep her mind off of her anxiety, I will try to do anything to keep my brain occupied and away from my hurt, sort of like I did when I was in labor: baking chocolate-chip cookies, looking through old pictures, listening to Beethoven and Mozart, watching a comedy, swimming, running, biking, or hiking through the woods. (I didn’t do all of that in labor, though.)


10. Get out your self-esteem file.

For the past few days I’ve been carrying around letters from my self-esteem file in my pocket like a baby blanket. Some people have told me that my self-esteem must be shallow if I have to rely on praise from other people. Maybe it is. But I have to start somewhere, and anyone who has sat in that panic place where you want to end it all, knows that it’s virtually impossible at that time to come up with a list of your own strengths. So you have to believe what other people say. Right now I’m carrying around a comment from Beyond Blue reader Keith that says, “I’ve been helped so much by your selfless efforts to help us,” and one from Beyond Blue reader Theresa that says, “Your winning battle to use your talent for something helpful is an inspiration.” Just typing them now gives me a boost.


11. Make a list of reasons for living.

Back in December I gave Beyond Blue readers the assignment to watch the holiday classic “It’s a Wonderful Life,” and make their own list of why they wouldn’t jump. Here’s mine:

* Even though I think, when I am severely depressed, that my kids need me out of their life, I know on some other level that my suicide would scar them forever. 

* Ditto about Eric, and the last thing I want to do is to make pain for him. 

* That would be the end of Beyond Blue. And God forbid someone like Rhonda Byrne take over and tell you all just to send one big smiley face into the universe


* There’s a good chance I wouldn’t be successful, and would end up in greater pain than I started, maybe even crippled, and how I would be an even bigger burden to Eric at that point. 

* Taking my life would be going back on step three (of most 12-step programs): turning my will and my life over to God. 

* Any hope that I had given others through my writing and videos would be lost … because I wouldn’t have lived up to my words.

12. Pray Psalm 91.

My mom kept her bible marked to this passage most of my childhood. I’d read it over and over and over again, feeling a moment of peace in the anxiety I felt back then. I read it today, and all the psalms, when I’m in the tunnel of terror and can’t let go of the fear. If I’m in a hurry, I just remember Psalm 91: 9-11:

If you make the Most High your dwelling–even the LORD, who is my refuge;
Then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.
For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.

  • Wendi

    Great post, Therese. Good suggestions. I’m experimenting with trying to “turn the tide” myself these days. I’m going through a very high-stress and anxiety-filled time in my life, and depression is lurking behind every corner. I’ve been focusing really hard on doing things and thinking in ways that might keep it at bay, and I’ve been successful so far. My 12 things would probably be a little different, but the idea that we’re not completely powerless is what’s important about this, I think. In my case, therapy and medication are what have made it possible for me to be aware enough and to have enough energy to fight back finally. Hallelujah!

  • Susan Amelang

    Therese – I love your posts. While I have not been diagnosed with manic-depressive disorder, there are days when I, too, cannot seem to wrap my mind around tackling the day-to-day tasks of life.
    I am a member of Al-Anon and the slogans are a wonderful stop to the stinking thinking: First things first, How important is it and the Serenity Prayer are my mantras on days when life is just too hard to handle.
    Therese – you are a life saver to me on days like I described above and the fact that you are beautiful, perceptive, intelligent and sometimes suffer from a debilitating mental disorder gives me the strength to carry on. God Bless You!

  • Edu

    For all us who suffer from mental illness or even simply having a tough time dealing with all of life’s challenges: Thank you!!!!!!!!! And you are simply amazing and inspiring.

  • m

    I always remember this…
    ‘Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary situation’
    ‘Suicide is anger towards ‘it’, that we’ve turned onto ourselves’
    ‘I’m OK.
    God doesn’t make junk’

  • Cindy

    Having read this, I now feel so much better about stealing my 5 yr. old’s “Elmer’s Go Paints” and the coloring book that goes with it. I find myself picking it up every time I need a pick me up & suddenly I’m the “Renoir” of my time. :) I’ve never been artistic, but for some reason these those little paints make me feel like I can’t screw up & if I do, it’s not permanent. I can fix it or just start a new page. It’s amazing how such a simple thing can make me feel so much better.
    So from now on I’ll be thinking “whatever works…” use it!

  • Starrdark

    Thank you, Therese. The chronic pain starts to get to me. Your words were right on time.

  • Renee

    THANK YOU!!! I was “going there” tonight, and made myself do yoga(one of my items from my tool kit thanks to you) the tears came in the middle of the yoga, and I just pressed passed them with my deep breathing, when I could ignore my feelings no longer, I sat on my couch, and said to my higher power what now, then I opened my eyes and saw my laptop. I thought read my tool kit, then I thought read Beyond Blue. And that did it for me. I feel a lot better, Thanks!
    Even if you don’t blog every day, or every week, when we need you the universe sends us to you and what ever we need is already there from you. It could have been a blog from last week, or last month, or last year. So thank you for when ever you can blog.(in regard to your comments about Perfect Bloger)

  • Cathleen Snowden

    You have opened my eyes to things that will truly help me when my depression tries to take over. THANK YOU JESUS…sending me one of Your “angels” on earth gives me strength to always remember the reason you have me here and that “leaving” before You take me to Heaven is not an option. Thank you, Therese Borchard, for Beyond Blue. “Angels all around you and yours always!!”
    Lots of Love in Christ,

  • Bev Y

    These are great guides to interupt our depressive thoughts. I feel better reading Beyond Blue and all other related articles. The time just flies and then it’s time to go/do or to bed. These are very useful tools to help me remember the important things and to pitch out the hurtful things. Of course, it doesn’t always works perfectly as we well know.
    Therese, I am sure you realize that there is a whole army of depressives out here. But I never want you to feel YOU ALONE are keeping us floating. God can help us handle OUR JUNK, but it often takes an outside force to remind of us to just ask Him. Beyond blue is a wonderful place to feel calmer.
    I don’t want my family or friends to see THIS side of me but with BB I can distance myself from them and concentrate on ME. Thanks to you all.

  • doreen stump

    this artical came in the nick of time,my son and i are going through some really hard times,depression seems to be the air we breath,when im thinking, i just want it over, the pain to stop,i hear my son say out loud my thoughts,fear,depression, hopelessness,i woke up with my stomach in knots this morning, and then read this,it gives me hope,thank you!


    I read through the 12 steps today while I was at work. I suffer greatly from chronic pain related to a serious car accident 2 years ago. I was in the hospital for 3 months and off work for a year. So, times have been real tough. There are many days I wish I would have just died in the accident but I have 2 beautiful girls to finish raising- that and the Lord are what get me through the dark times . I have been there several times. These steps are really neat I wrote down several ideas and words of wisdom to keep at hand and refer to when I need them. Thank you-Kelli G.

  • Nancy W.


  • Jaymie

    Thank you for always reminding me that it will get better. I suffer from chronic pain caused by 3 failed back surgeries and permanent nerve damage in both legs. When stress increases, so does the pain. Three weeks ago my husband of 20 years told me he wants a more active partner and is leaving me. I have been dragging since. I pray; I try; but it wasn’t until my son told my husband that “all mom does is cry all day, Dad, I am scared she is going to do something to herself.” He is 15, and not dependent on me for his daily life needs, and I also have a 20 year old son with Bipolar Disorder Type I who is finally stable on his medication and doing well. I can not let the act of their selfish father cause us any more pain. I need to hold it together for them, and then eventually I pray it will turn into me holding it together for ME! God bless and keep on!

  • ginaJ

    Sometimes when you have reached a point in life in you feel like you cant go on.there is no other way but the lord.sometimes i look back at my past and look at my life now i look at where i couldve been.god has brought me a long way.i may not be where i want to are i may not have the simple things in life but i no i got the lord.I always say never would have made it with him.

  • Jennifer

    This has been somewhat helpful. It’s hard to believe that I can change or “heal” from my illnesses and I’ve been battling them for so long. I have had so many failed relationships and been blamed solely for their demise. I’ve had relationships with unhealthy people and now that I am in a relationship with a healthy, sweet, loving, caring man, I’m totally blowing it. Ever since we started dating I have been consumed with anxiety and fear. Fear that he’ll leave and hate me. Fear that I am not allowed to be happy and that I don’t deserve him. I have tried to break up with him a dozen times in eight months and I don’t understand why he is still with me. I’m afraid to get too close and feel to safe and secure with him because that happiness and safety has always been harshly ripped away. I don’t want to lose him but if I keep pushing away he will eventually stay away. What do I do? How do I get over the fear and anxiety? It’s so bad that I wake up in the middle of the night after having nightmares of him cheating on me and laughing in my face about it. Or I dream that he die. I either wake up so angry with him and the world or so hurt and hopeless. The pain is so real as if the bad things in the nightmares actually happened. So I try and end the relationship to save myself more pain and humiliation in the future. But it still hurts and it hurts and confuses him. What do I do? I’m terrified but I love him so much. Help me. Help me end this fear and anxiety. I don’t know how to do it myself.

  • Winifred Quire Giddings

    After reading this article, I could not help but reflect on my trip two weeks ago to New York from Maryland, with my parents and and silbing to the airport in order for my parents to travel back to Liberia, West Africa. Since my stayed in the United States (20 Years), I’ve always been afraid to travel through the tunnel. This time was a different experience. I finally realized that the light of my Creator was waiting for me at the end of that long ride.
    This awareness allow me to appreaciate my current situation as a divorced-single mother with a fifteen year-old son, in between jobs and starting a life coach business seemed overwhelmed in the moment. I felt like I was in this dark tunnel and it appears then that, no light was near and I had been travelling for a while. I can remember thinking, if I did not have Joel, I was ready to embrace death. I am happy for the moment that is so valueable that, I am now beginning the experience the light, all I had to do was arrive at the end of the tunnel. I have arrived and everything is fallen in place as it should.
    Much Peace, Winnie


    One night when I was ready to take my life, to stop the pain of depression and anxiety, I had a vision or a visitation (call it what you like, it saved my life). It may have been an angel, but at the time I really believed Jesus had manifested at the foot of my bed as I waited for the right time to swallow my bottle of pills.
    Suddenly, I was filled with the knowledge that if I were to die, I would never escape the pain and desperation. I would be traped forever a world of pain and anxiety. The worse part of that knowledge at that point would not be that I was forever depressed and sick, but that I could see and watch others suffer from their life problems and not be able to reach them to let them know the truth. The truth that taking your own life puts you not to sleep in a sweet peace forever, but the torture of your own private hell.
    I’ve learned a lot since that day, nearly thirty-three years ago about the Bible, Jesus, Salvation, heaven and hell,(while I still have bi-polar with rapid cycle depression, PTSD, anxiety, degenerative arthritis, COPD, two types of sleep apena and other things too) nothing has served me as well as knowing that suicide is not an answer.It is the beginning of something far worse. I’m so glad He loved me enough to save me and you. God Bless you.

  • Veronika

    Jennifer…please don’t go it alone. Find a good professioanl to talk to so that you can make sense of your terror of intimacy. I’m guessing you had an abusive childhood like I did, because you have all the symptoms. It’s important that you understand WHY these things (feelings) are happening to you. Self sabotage is a terrible place to get stuck, but there’s a way out. I know…I made it “out” myself and no longer suffer from self loathing. It was alot of work, but worth it.
    Hang in there.

  • Edna

    I am just so overwhelmed with debt,grief and family problems until I don’t sleep and just worry all the time. I rob Peter to pay pay from one month to another. I don’t know how this will end.I think death would be the perfect solution. At least the insurance money would pay all the bills. I have no one to talk to. I live in a very small town where everyone knows everyone. Sometimes I find it so hard to go on from day to day. I worry God to death, and I know he’s probably tired of me. There are times when I can’t even eat,it makes me sick to even try. I have no one I can talk to.

  • Anonymous

    Since I myself have gone through a horrible depression, I know for a fact that only GOD can help you. You must surrender yourself completely, holding nothing back…just like a little child depends 100% on his parent(s) for all his needs. God is such a good God, He wants the best for us – more so than a human father/mother could ever want the best for us. So can you imagine! If we being bad, know how to give good things to our children —- how much more our Godly Father wants to give us good things!!!!! Hang in there – always praying and believing. Call youself delivered from depression!!!! For the word of God says: call the things that are not as if there were! and I am hereby calling you completely delivered from depression – strong, healthy and with a sound mind!!!!! in Jesus’ name.

  • Janette

    Jennifer…I agree with Veronika. You should get some help from someone who knows — but I also think you should watch the movie, “The Secret.” I know it saved my life back on May 19, 2008 when I thought my life was over and I couldn’t see my way out of my depression and anxiety. After watching the movie, I realized I had to change my way of thinking. Slowly, but surely, over the past two months — I gradually started to see a shift. Instead of staying in bed all day, I now get up and go to the gym five days a week and come back to a part-time job that I can do at home. I have lost about 25 lbs. and feel so much better about myself. I look forward to waking up now and starting my day instead of dreading it and feeling anxious all the time. I know this is only the beginning and there is so much more that I want to do with my life now. I hope it will help you as much as it helped me. Thank you for sharing.

  • Paula

    I am suffering with depression. My living arrangments have brought on most of the depression. I am trying so hard to get away from him. I have alot of furniture that is expensive and refuse to walk away from it. At the cost of not leaving my things behind I have suffered with making myself worse. Now it is down to the point to where domestic charges were filed by a policeman, then later dropped. I am yelled at each day for petty things. I hope and pray my mother is able to borrow the money so I can move my things and walk away from the Monster so I can reclaim my life and get my health straightened out. He sucks me down with him when I am around him. Does anyone have advise?

  • LENA


  • Gwendolyn

    When I feel I don not know what to do, stop ,get a word from God , you will always find peace in the storm. Knowning He always hear you andwill answer you with lovingkindness and tender mercy. In Christ All things are possible.

  • LaTanya

    This one is for Paula. I don’t know what and why you want out of the situation and that is between you and God. But I can tell you that whatever pretty, material things that you have living with this person is not worth your happiness. I know that it is hard to leave but don’t sit around and wait because God will hear your crying out and make a way for you for to keep your things. In time he will fix it, but you have to just continue to pray and let them him know that you are willing to let go, because he is knocking you just have to let him in. It’s hard, but lift your thine mind and heart to him and he will fix it. Put your focus to the hills and I promise it will be rough, but God is in control.

  • Jackie

    Are there any suggestions for my friend who has fibromyalgia. Some days her pain is so severe she can’t get out of bed. Her meds don’t seem to be working, & I think it causes her some depression. Thanks for the help.

  • Joy

    I encourage you to think about the price you are paying for that expensive furniture that you don’t want to leave. Furnishings are man made items that can be replaced; either with or without money. You, on the other hand, are priceless and all the money on the planet cannot replace you. If the furniture makes you happy when you are around “the monster” then, by all means stay and be fulfilled. Conversely, when you are “yelled at for petty things” and looking at or touching your furniture does not dull the sting of the anger and humiliation you feel, perhaps you should reconsider your premise for staying. Perhaps defining yourself by what you have is the real problem here rather than taking inventory of who you are as a person and deciding to lighten your load all around. I wish you the best in finding your way and strongly recommend that you speak with your pastor or someone who might be able to help you reframe your priorites. You are more important than your expensive furniture. Peace.

  • Mora

    I am not even sure where to start, you ask for advice, when you know the clear answer. you allow material things to come before yourself. You seem silly.

  • Antoinette M

    Can you please give me some suggestions on how to make myself get up, get out of the house and do some productive things with my life? I no longer can go to church, shopping in large malls or even out to dinner with my family.

  • Lynne

    Re: Antoinette M , Put one foot in front of the other and repeat. I don’t mean to trivialize your situation but getting those first steps are crucial. Tell yourself your house is on fire, and you need to get out! Whatever mental imagery works for you. Sometimes all I need is a positive distraction from the daily duldrums. It can make the difference between drowning in depression and survival! I have a list of my abilities and self affirmations that I refer to when I feel like jumping in my swimming pool with a toaster. (I don’t even know if that would work but the mental picture is hilarious) Me dripping wet with straight up frizzy hair. If I can poke fun at myself…things can’t be sooooo bad.

  • Ellen Williams

    Hi. I have been diagnosed with disthymia. That means I’ve been in at least a low-grade depression for a long time. As a teenager, I was very much a loner and as an adult a counselor told me I have attachment disorder. I don’t know what to do about that.
    My kids were born pretty close together and we are almost empty nesters now. I miss my kids. The one child still at home has a mild form of cerebral palsy. I sometimes blame myself for his condition. I had sex while pregnant and I knew my condition was not good. I had placenta previa. I also heard the alarm go off in the NICU and I didn’t say anything. There were nurses standing around everywhere and I didn’t know why they were ignoring it. I figured, though that since they were, there must not be anything to worry about. It’s bothered me ever since.
    I’ve tried opening up to people only to find that they turn against me. I left the church I used to go to because of it and I have been going to another church for about five years now and I haven’t gotten really involved, except I sing in the choir and just try to be quiet.
    I feel like I have never really succeeded at anything in my life. I started to work toward a goal of being certified for a Jazzercise franchise and my body ran down. My iron, adrenals, thyroid, etc. just slowed down. I felt like my body betrayed me.
    I tryed looking up a boy I dated in high school. Stupid, I know. I was just curious to know how his life turned out. He told me more than I wanted to know and he was rude to me. I can’t seem to get his words out of my head. I tryed to be supportive and kind, but he seemed to become angrier when I was nice.
    I tried getting a job several times, but I always hate it. I really try to break through the initial repulsion of going to work, but I just cry all week-end. I think I’m really terrified of failure.
    After reading this, you probably understand why the people I’ve opened up to were uncomfotable around me. I do. But, really, it’s much easier and less threatening to just write it out like this. My husband and I are trying to save money (like everyone else) or I would go back to counseling.

  • Lynne

    Therese, Thankyou for a great list of survival strategies! It’s been a bit rough the last month or so. Sometimes I’d give anything for some peace of mind and a little security. I can see there’s a lot of people in worse pain than I am and they’re finding ways to cope. It’s very helpful to have a good set of “tools”. YOU RULE!!!

  • Anonymous

    I look forward to reading your ideas and advice of getting through the struggle and surviving. Thank you

  • Susan

    What an absolutely wonderful and helpful column this was today… I ‘went there” again last night but made it through and this article was awaiting me when I awoke this morning. I’m going to print it and keep it by my bed and read and re-read it… Thank you for tools to work with while await my appointment (in Septmeber) to start therapy and medication. God bless you!

  • jc rose

    to the person that called the old bo from hi school.
    look at the positive…thank your lucky stars he is not around you every day with his attitude and compassion or lack of… for your life…make a list before i die……..then start doing one thing at a time and make your own dreams and keep a journel and write a book about your journey and discoveries ups and downs and then send it to be published…you are not alone…….so many people are going through the journey to and will buy the book …..

  • Belinda Reynolds

    This article was wonderful and just so full of information. I just don’t know how much longer I can do the “work” to stay out of the black hole and continue to work. Just like the article talks about, my anxiety begins the minute I open my eyes. There are just SO many days when it is just all too much.
    This article came just when I needed it most.
    If anyone has some in put about managing a job while trying to just make it through the work day, I would sure appreciate hearing from you.

  • Sarah Ramsey

    Like the others, this came to me at just the right time. My son and I both have mental illness, mineis depression nd his is paranoid szchoprenia and bipolar. Today we both were very overwhelmed with life and spent time together which had positive andnegative effects on me. I was able to talk to my shrink and change some meds, i was having sx of serotonin syndrome (anxiety, restlessness, fast pulse, nausea, etc) this happens when you are on two much SSRI meds sowe are weaning me off one and increasing the other. It is soooo great to have a shrink who really cares and is willing to do those things over the phone since i can/t see her very often. When i havehad a fulltime job which is most of my life i use the slogan, one minute at a time, or one day if i can manage that. I call my AA sponsor if i can even for a few minutes and that really helps, or someone i can trust at work to talk to for a few minutes.Hope that helps, I needed the reminder tonight that i am not alone and that suicide is not the answer even in the darkest storm.

  • Anonymous

    I am having so much anxiety and depression tday more than usual
    When am I going to stop tryig to know the future? What if>?Thts all I
    eat breathe and say. Not anyone can predict the future ! YOu have to
    tale it one day at a timme/.

  • Doina

    Chere Therese,
    you are inspiring us all in wonderful ways, and we all thank you for this.
    May I share with you all that the point 12. expresses the POWER FROM ABOVE, Which wants us all at Peace and not in Fear (and anxiety). Besides the Bible, God sent His Only Beloved Son to us, humankind, to show us the Way of LOVE = HIS WAY, which is unconditional Love in Long-Sufferance and Pain Beyond Words can describe or Feelings can ‘tell’.
    My therapy and medication consist of reading the psalms, Isaiah chapters 11 and 53, which are prophecies about Jesus, saying by heart the prayer to Our heavenly Father, the psalm 23, and the psalm 91 by using my own name at the beginning of each verse :-) And the peace sets in my entire body-mind-soul. And :-))) God sends His provisions for me, to me In His Unimaginable Way for me, for us. We just know IT HAS BEEN HIS WORKS Because no man can do His work.
    Dear Jennifer,
    In response to your:

    The pain is so real as if the bad things in the nightmares actually happened. So I try and end the relationship to save myself more pain and humiliation in the future. But it still hurts and it hurts and confuses him. What do I do? I’m terrified but I love him so much. Help me. Help me end this fear and anxiety. I don’t know how to do it myself.

    I do beg of you to ‘look’ ONLY FORWARD, b/c your past is ‘killing’ your future, as I ‘read’ your message.
    And, remember or study/read that Jesus Himself asked us to follow Him without looking back!, which is hard for us = slaves of bad/negative memories, with predilection.
    God made you Perfect in His Image. Just kneel, and cry to Him through prayer, and He will Help you in a way beyond your expectations. Just believe you deserve the man you are in love with now, and He will work in your favor!
    No other person can really cure you. Your battles are yours, and your helper and Savior is Jesus Christ. He already suffered for you… Think of Him, and your nightmares will become dreams of hope and with message!
    In July I was struck by such an unexpected misfortune, that I actually stopped eating for… 6 days, until God liberated me from the event, which I could not resolve by asking ‘rich’ people, and friends to help me. I have just drunk water, and prayed and cried to Him for 6 days, this is how long He allowed the misfortune in my life. Of course, it was a very tough lesson, at the same time. And I am glad, and happy, and crying out loud with Thanks to Him that He put me through that trial… See what He allowed to happen to Job, one of His beloved servants……….
    OK, I hope you have the strength to address yourself to God in prayer. He waits for you, and He will respond to you. Glory be to God, His Son, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit!
    Dear God, Please Help us all talk/pray to You on a daily basis. Amen.

  • sandra weisz

    i know, because of the horrible things that happened to me, that were beyond my control, that God does not love me for some reason, yet i carry on and have decided to give to others what i would want. even tho ppl have been cruel and unusual towards me. the saying this too shall pass does not apply to everyone. sometimes we have to take action and extricate ourselves from a bad enviroment where we’re not wantd.

  • mariea

    When I go through my emails I usually just delete them but I just had to respond because I was feeling so low today and when i read psalms 91 9-11 it just let’s me know that he is on my side and I am not by myself this is something I’ve suffered with about 18 years now; i just wanted to say thank you I have something to look forward to. LIFE!!

  • patricia

    I dont know where to start because i even feel like you will judge me and can feel the fear i feel through this comment. I have always been a strong person and am having a very hard time coping with not being able to be a “normal” person anymore. I feel so different, so lost, I am always looking for ways to cope with my issues and I just wanted to say thanks for taking the time to write something like this. I truly found it uplifting and anyone in this situation knows that hope can be fleeting. Everday is a struggle but I feel like I may be able to find some peace in these things. Thanks again!

  • Barbara Carter

    Hello Everyone: I have found the 12 steps are a life long tool of wonderful recovery to live by. The principals set forth are simple and when one is willing for their attitude to be changed and allow these to be a part of their life great understanding above and beyond the natural thinking process takes place. God showed me a way to live above the everyday thinking of depression and self loathing. I found self centered fear is the problem. My willingness to get out of self and help others without asking in return has been the door to happiness that one day at a time I can walk through each new day into a greater understanding of things to come. I have practiced this program for 21 years now and marvel at what might be to come in my life. Being not perfect and having those peskie depressive days only tells me I’m still human and “This Too Shall Pass”. If you like History you’ll love looking forward to tomorrow for tomorrow is future history to be explored. God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change: The courage to change the things I can: And the wisdom to know the difference.

  • Michele

    To all those who suffer, “May God richly bless you with joy, fulfillment and purpose.” Reading scripture helps and knowing that God has a plan may help us to keep holding on. I’ve been depressed for years and I know it is from an emotionally abusive marriage and a son who harrasses and disrespects me daily. I am trapped with no job (I look everyday, a daughter to support and a sick, elderly mother to take care of. I keep trying to remind myself that this will end one day and I will be blessed for trying to follow God and stand up for what is right in my home. Everyone’s situation may be a bit different, however we need to remember that God does not abandon us. I am reading a popular book called “The Shack” and it makes me think about things; evil on this earth and how God will prevail in the end. I like to listen to the pastor Joel Osteen on TV or online, he is so encouraging. He is so friendly and easy-going and fills us with hope. I try to do things that I enjoy; everyday tasks are so draining that eventually nothing brings us joy and we feel that we have no purpose.
    Jeremiah 29:11-14
    For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

  • Barbara

    When I am in today I have not the anxiety of tomorrow. Make a list of good things to do not things to buy for yourself but things you can do for others. 1. Make a phone list and start calling a least one a day everyday and just talk to find out how they are. Don’t share your poor little me’s. Don’t complain, brighten their day.
    2. Cook something for your neighbors on both sides of the block and take it to them. Big pot of beans and sweet corn bread. Big pot of home made stew. I like to find out what they like without them knowing what I’m doing. Now that brings joy.
    3. I have cleaned my neighbors flower bed out when she was gone. Put their trash can back up to their house when they had been gone all day after the trash men had emptyed it.
    4. Homicide or sucide isn’t the answer. Don’t hurt people who love you that means make yourself useful. How do you do this. Start today with your list don’t tell anyone what your doing. Just do it!!!!!!

  • Silver

    Paula, My name is Silver (nick name) and I work with people in Domestic Abuse situations. First, please call your domestic abuse hot line in your area you need support, you need to talk to someone who is trained and who understands your problem. Yes, things are important to us and I understand you wanting to get moved away. I’m here to tell you U-Hauls don’t cost that much for a day and you need a driver for each. All at one time load up when he is gone. Come on girl make a plan you can do this. I have been in this situation, had no one but myself, no parents, not brothers or sisters no friends to turn too. Make a plan. You can do this girlfriend. Don’t take abuse it always gets worse. Some day verbal abuse will not be enough to control you and physical abuse will be needed to keep you down. Probably already is.

  • Wendy

    Thank you for this wonderful blog! I have to remember to take the baby steps and be reminded that it is a logical process to go through in order to take care of “unlogical” feelings! Like you said, having a mood log, getting plenty of rest, eating plenty of fruits and vegetables,etc…It’s unbelievable to me-that it’s so much work to take care of yourself. Some people seem to know instinctively how to do all the right things for themselves. I think it’s something that must have been modeled before them…I did not see my parents taking good care of themselves, therefore I know that has a lot to do with why I struggle…It’s not easy but with my Savior and His Love I know He has great things in store for my family and I! I want to be a blessing to others and have a smile on my face to show His light inside of me-I do my best to live for him every day- but along with that- I have to live for myself! He loves every single person He created and that’s a fact!!!

  • iris

    For more than a year now, I have been severely depressed with my marriage, which was punctuated by a horrible separation some months ago. Because of that, I have been indulging in a gargantuan dose of “stinking thinking”. I’d imagine how I’d go. And my imagined mechanisms get more creative as I get older. Then I think of what people will say at my funeral, whether or not my husband will feel guilty for hurting me this bad.
    But you’re right. People like me, like us, can get through this. Distractions that include googling state parks might really help. Like stumbling into this blog, for one, while checking the Yahoo homepage. :)
    So thank you for the wonderful things you’ve written here. I feel better reading them. It is good to know that I am not alone in this horrible horrible situation. God bless you. :)

  • Anonymous

    Dear Therese, I have just recently starting reading your Beyond Blue blogs and I want to say thank you for sharing them. I am 19, a single mother, and I have found my self in an all time low. My thoughts are dangerously toxic, I find myself binge eattin, and not being able to sleep. Not healthy patterns to fall into. I love my daughter ( now 10months old) more than anything and I hate for her to grow up with a mother who is an emotional train wreck. A year ago I went through a VERY nasty separation from my fiance, who had become both verbally and somewhat physically abusive, he also tryed to kill me (with me being 7 months pregnant) and blew up my car. I went from a strong confident enthusiastic out going person to a misserable and emotionaly unstable hermit. I havent been able to find work and have had to move into my parents again who are struggling to get by even with out having me and a baby to support. Every effort I have made to get myself and my daughter out of this situtation has seemingly backfire in my face. It gives me some piece of mind to know that I am not the only person who feels this way and often goes to THAT state of mind. My mother recommended I go see a doctor and get somekind of medication. But I dont want to take some kind of pill that is going to make me not care that I cant support my daughter and just be ok with everything as it is. I long for an uncloudy day, when I can acctually get back to the confident person I was before and stand freely on my own to feet again. Reading Beyond Blue really helps me, because you know exactly what it feels like when you find yourself in THAT place. Unlike everyone else advise to just smile and smell the roses and pretend everything is just peachy and it will all just get better… I think I have been (at least to some degree) just sitting around waiting for the storm to be over .. I want to learn to dance in the rain again… Thank you for your faithfullness to Beyond Blue and us all your readers. God Bless you!

  • Worried

    I am a single mother, that really needs alot of prayer, I have made mistakes but not intentially. In 2006 I lost my job and had to get on welfare, but the income that I lost was how I survived, I applied for food stamps and as the months went on I found work , but none of it was steady nor was it consistant.I didnt realize that I was over the limit because I was working so many jobs and going to school and just trying to make it. in Sept 07 I got a job that made life a little easier and I was able to get off the food stamps, now 4 days ago I got hit with a felony theft case saying that I stole the food stamps and i didnt need them. Please pray for me, the only person my child has to depend on is me and I graduate from college in 2 weeks, this would ruin me and I am so lost and frustrated right now, that all I want to do is cry. i am trying to remain calm and think, but it has become very hard.

  • joseph ruth


  • JB

    You really made me think with your comment about eatting and being unhealthy as a reason to shorten my “miserable life”. I sometimes get to “that place” and I eat and eat. I could never end it in any other way but I am now wondering if that is why I am eatting like I do. I always thought of it as a coping mechanism but maybe it is my way of “shaving the years off” without the guilt of suicide. Usually I am not even aware I am doing it until after the fact. You have really made me aware of it and I am grateful to you. You sound like you are really getting it together. Wish I was doing as good as you.

  • Kathryn P

    I haven’t been reading my e-mails lately.It is sometimes so hard just getting out of bed each day. I have Major Depression Disorder,PTSD and a couple of other disorders that are written without any vowels.I have been in counseling CONTINOUSLY since 1988. In all this time, I have been hospitalized several times. I find that what helps me to turn off the “little voice” in my head that says “give it up, just take all your meds, have some tequila (or whatever)and just go to sleep”is that I remember that I won’t see my mom(deceased)
    or my son or most of all, my husband (of 36yrs) ever again. I then say a prayer asking Jesus to help me make it through another day. I have been reading ANYTHING of Christian basis that speaks of Jesus’s promise of hope if we just believe and ask for it. I also find going to church every Sunday, sitting with friends and family a BIG help to make it through the week. God Bless

  • Anonymous

    Beyond Red

  • Lynn

    I too am struggling with depression and anxiety. The anxiety is so strong that I feel disconnected from who I really am. I can identify with the comments that I have read that anxiety and depression can rob you of your will to live.
    I feel so blessed in so many ways but I also feel so burdened by changes in my life that I am having difficulty finding my place. I am certain God gave me such strong abilities and talents so that I can create good and help others who may find life too difficult to handle.
    But a medicine I was taking for sleep has turned on me and created
    unbearable anxiety and physologial symptoms that have limited me from being all that I can be. I have become toxic and must allow time for this medicine to leave my body. All I can do is sleep and cry. I try to read uplifting material that will bring me comfort and find peace among the turmoil and I write my thoughts in my journal throughout the day when I try to express my frustration but returning to normal is a slow process. I feel so tortured, so all alone, so devasted by my losses of friendship and of a love that I thought would last a life time.
    I thought returning to complete a degree would be so good for me but the stress and the effects of the medicine have stopped me in my tracks. Now I truly do not know where I belong. I pray that in a few days when this medicine is out of my system that my world will return to a place of peace and safety where I can begin to find myself and I can get back on the path where I know God wants me. In the meantime I will continue to seek comfort in the tools provided on this site and feel thankful that such a wonderful resource is available.

  • nillawafer

    i keep two post-it notes next to my bed to remind me when i feel like giving up. one says, “be gentle with yourself.” god said to love our neighbor as ourselves, but we often forget to love ourselves; to be kind and forgiving of ourselves.
    on the other post-it note i wrote the last words of my husband’s suicide note: “please, please, please take care of one another.”

  • Your Name

    Thanks for the reminder, Therese. I just found out that half of our support people at my former employer are losing their jobs. Sad thing is, all of them are 50ish, and had seniority and a higher hourly wage. Where’s the loyalty of the employers? Oh, wait, their millions of dollars in bonuses, and the coporate jet. American Family took the family out of the picture. Sigh.
    So I’m a little depressed, but your blog helps. Love, blanche

  • Dianne

    Thank you for your wisdom, understanding, and bravery. I thank God for you.

  • Micah

    I have this fight everyday, but reading the post made me realize I wasn’t alone. My previous doctor lost his license, which he was making my condition worse and his own “addiction” got him in trouble. So, that left me without a doctor and no “meds” and I have been trying to treat this with St.John’s Wort and Valerian Root. It isn’t working too well and I am falling into the abyss once again and I just can’t seem to win. Reading your post made me realize and accept that I need to seek medical attention again. I just don’t know if I have the strength though. It was nice to see the Psalm 91, it gave me some comfort. Thank You! GOD BLESS! MICAH

  • Liliana

    I´m in the pitt hole right now, my husband who is the most important person in my life, sharing with me through all my falls into the same darkness for a long , long time, got tired with the burden, and i´m terrified just to think that he wants a divorce, and even though we are temporarely ( i hope so!!!)separated, right now i don´t know what would i do if he decides to left me forever…i´m so, so scare…but reading this gives me at least a few minutes of hope,(i trully wish i could be able to hold onto it much longer, but…) so, from this my pitt hole, i tank you, with all my cripple heart.

  • David

    I have read all that I could to figure out how to handle my life. I saw a psycitrist. To no avail. I figure my life is short on Gods list.
    I have high blood pressure, Diabetes and need endoscopy once a year. I think some times God is punishing me for things I have done in the past. I have prayed for forgiveness. I feel God is not listing to me.
    I feel as though I am alone. I have forgot how to laugh. I laugh out loud, but inside I am feeling pain. Keep writing and I will keep reading. Its the only hope I have. lost my job- no benifits-no pay check. I keep looking for a job but no one wants a broken down old man. Worried,streest out with no where to turn except this page. It does pick me up a little

  • Crystal

    Thanks so much for doing what you do. I’m also proud of you for using what you’ve learned to help people like us get through our pain, and help us not forget we aren’t alone. Some of your writing really hits home and makes me and probably lots of others feel a little better. Thank you much, and God Bless.

  • Priscilla Ann

    Just happened to click on this link as I was checking my e-mail. I kid you not!!!! I just text this bible verse, which you mentioned Psalm 91 9 : 11 this past weekend to so many of my friends :) It has made an extreme positive difference in the way I percieve my the rest of my beautiful life, and I certainly have seen a differnce in those who I have shared Psalm with. May all of you who are reading this HAVE A BLESSED DAY… KEEP THINKING POSITIVE…

  • Priscilla Ann

    You are doing an EXCELLENT JOB!!! May God Bless You

  • Priscilla Ann

    I will post something up here in a bit. By Joel Osteen… he sort of reminds me of the author to this web page. Therese J. Bochard, is an awesome creator to this page. I am at work right now, taking a break. I will be back in a bit to post the information that includes A BIBLE VERSE, BY JOEL OSTEEN… EVERYONE MUST READ IT… :)

  • Priscilla Ann

    DAVID– I know you mentioned you are ill and you are umemployed at the moment. Please take a moment and read what I am about to post BY JOEL OSTEEN…
    Set Your Mind
    “Now set your mind and heart to seek (inquire of and require as your vital necessity) the Lord your God”
    (I Chronicles 22:19, AMP).
    TODAY’S WORD from Joel and Victoria
    Have you “set your mind” today? In other words, when you woke up this morning, did you make the decision to focus on good things and to follow God with all your heart?
    If we don’t set our minds, if we don’t purposely focus our thoughts and energy, then chances are, we’ll be bombarded by the cares of life. We’ll be tossed back and forth by every situation we encounter. We’ll be distracted by every phone call, upset by the traffic, offended by what someone said, and we’ll get off the course God intended. We’ve all heard it said that the best defense is a good offense. When you proactively set your thoughts, you are putting yourself on the offense. You are taking charge of your life. You are being an on-purpose person. You’re redeeming the time.
    Make the decision today to set your mind on things above. Set your mind on God’s eternal purposes so that you can stand in the victory He has for you.
    Heavenly Father, today I set my mind on You. I choose to seek You with my whole heart. Thank You for strengthening me with Your peace and joy today. In Jesus’ Name. Amen.

  • Priscilla Ann

    O.k., as you can see Joel Osteen ia appearing twice… Sorry, don’t know how that happend. It was meant to be posted this way, I guess… lol lol I assume I sent it twice not realizing it. Either way, everyone please enjoy… I have one sent to my email daily.. if you care to have one sent to you feel free to email me

  • http://Http:// Rodolfo

    I read you blog. For mood tracking and overall journaling, you have to visit this impressive website called

  • Emma

    Just wanted to say what a well-written and informative post this is. I’ve just gone through a couple of months of despair, (over a chronic illness I have) and can relate to so much of what you write. I found it interesting that you talked about how important it is to focus on what you’ve already survived…sometimes I remember all the times I thought I couldn’t make it through, and then did…and that really helps.
    I’ve recently started a blog about chronic illness and meditation and am finding it really helpful for me just to write about my experiences with illness.

  • Carelee

    Therese, I find it amazing you have the strength to do what you do. I barely can get out of bed at times. but I also know I have too. I have to take care of my disabled husband, theres no one to take care of me. so, I sleep as much as I can and pray the rest of the time.I”m so glad my childern are grown I could never do it now. I loved the blog on the statue of Jesus, it was so warm, it maded me feel safe. I judge most things my my safe place. I was abused as a child and it is so important for me to feel safe where I go. I guess I can always hear the little girl saying we aren’t and that’s par tof the problem. we never feel totally safe. but my point in writing was to Thank You for your caring and answeres. God Bless

  • zunge

    If we don’t set our minds, if we don’t purposely focus our thoughts and energy, then chances are, we’ll be bombarded by the cares of life. We’ll be tossed back and forth by every situation we encounter. We’ll be distracted by every phone call, upset by the traffic, offended by what someone said, and we’ll get off the course God intended.

  • My 12 Things

    Here are my 12things for managing anxiety.

  • huile d argan

    This is excellent article to read.You have some great skill to derive the spiritual notes so easily to us.The 12 steps are great to going.

  • Ashley

    I’ve been struggling with depression on and off for most of my life and I’ve recently found myself sinking into the dark abyss again. Your blog has been an inspiration and a source of hope. I stumbled across this post today and it was just exactly what I needed to read. Thank you so much for what you do. I know it has helped me greatly.

  • Elizabeth

    Thank you so much for this post! It is just what I needed today!

  • Barbara

    Therese, if you are walking these steps today (those you describe in the blog), then you will find me walking right beside you. My eyes started welling up when I read the comment made by the disabled woman to your mother; I wish I had half that woman’s strength as I struggle with my own new disability.
    I don’t have her grace or her courage, but I have learned to stay alive, one day at a time even though I’ll admit to finding some comfort in the notion that I may not live as long as others.
    Like you and so many of your readers, I’ve been depressed much of my life. My saviors were getting outside and running, or skiing, or hiking. Four years ago, I ruptured a disc in my back and was left with significant, life-changing nerve damage and permanent, chronic, severe pain. Talk about depressing! After three long surgeries and countless procedures, I find that I can do nothing athletic, except get into a therapy pool and work with a therapist.
    Like you, I had to rely on 12 step work and bring my days down to the ‘next critical thing’ that needed to get done, and in the process, I had to lose some other things I loved, like my job. But today, I can manage most of the time by carefully controlling what I have to do. And meditating. Oh, and having a wonderful husband.
    Thank you so much for this post; I needed it, and didn’t know it.
    Stay with the meditation,

  • Joe Gonzalez

    Great, Therese ! Another pointer. When your head starts obssessing, when you can’t find answers that don’t require immediate attention, when you say : ‘ What will she say ? How about if she reacts badly ?
    Say to yourself : Don’t have all the pertinent information, so – i suspend judgment. And you leave that worrisome bug hanging, knowing – believing : ‘ I’ll cross that bridge when i get to it.” Frees ur mind for the present moment, and when u find that track, stick to it. It has the power to rid u of all your anxieties. Also, be genuine. You get on a bus, see a pretty girl with the seat next to her empty ; don’t go sit somewhere else because you’re ‘ shy, afraid – what will she think ? ‘ NO, be honest : i wanna sit beside her. You’d be amamzed at the myriad times this works out fine for you, instead of sitting someplace else and berating your choice. Plant these 2 things as solid foundations of ur behavior, – you’ll smell the flowers better.

  • veronica

    The last few days I have felt hopeless for “moments” at a time. If anyone can understand that, and then there are the rest of the “moments” I am just busy and doing. I keep getting caught in setbacks that make me feel very discouraged with myself. I try for everyone and yet feel no one knows how alone and lonely I can feel. I pray for all who need strength and courage. I pray for all who know heartache and worry and fear and the Lord will help us all. I pray for direction and common sense every day, and I see myself as
    repeating the wrongs and trying to right everything again. I thank you for your words and I read them
    with great hope each day. God Bless.

  • francoise

    Thanks for these 12 steps – definitely. Husband (who has battled depression) and I agree – we got out of it before and will again. I like Larry’s idea of hidden reserves; yes, we have been through so much and overcame it. I overcame wrong diagnosis like lots of affective disorder patient, and wrong meds. I love your talking idea; a therapist once told me that writing was my key to find my way out of despair, so I journal whatever every day – even if I write garbage, doesn’t matter. I feel better. Also definitely meditation and even yoga relaxation music help, and those CD’s I’ve ordered at other times from Candace Pert or Marty Rossman, the stress doctor. Yes!

  • barb quester

    dear therese, for so, so many years i thought i was the only abnormal person living with these same symptoms as you listed here and in many other blogs. until one day, my therapist (my angel) told me it was normal. i said “you mean i am not the only one who feels this way?”, and when she said no i was not the only one, i felt a thousand pounds roll off my shoulders. please know you are not alone, you are never alone. sometimes when i get those anxiety attacks and i think, “here it comes again”, i try to go it alone, but like you said, there is something about calling someone and sharing it, or speaking it, that makes a huge difference. all i can say is, thank you. God bless you. for all you are and all you do. you are a true hero to all of us.

  • Marie

    I remind myself to choose life .”Choose life or death ” (Deut30:19) I than ask what are the things that need to be changed in me ? First I have to listen to the feelings . What is the message I am not getting from my feelings ? They are mine and they are okay . It’s okay to say that I am bone tired .How about saying that being tender is acceptable with my husband ? One thing I know it is better to hear the feelings then to ignore them .By choosing to hear the messages from within fear , death is no longer an issue

  • smileyone

    Thank you!

  • judy vanderwyst


  • Mashareddik

    ??? ?????????? ?? ????????? ????????? ? ?????????????? !???? ?????????? ? ???????? . ??????????? ??????? ?????? : ? ???? ?????? ????? , ?????? ?????? ? ????????? .?????? ??????? ??????? ?????? … ? ? ????? ??????, ???? ????? ???? ? ??? ???????? ???????? … ?? ,??????? . ? ??????? ? ??? ???? ???????? ? ??? ????? ??????? , ??? ?????????? ???? ? ?????? ” ??? ?????%27 , ?????? ????? .? ??????? ” ????? ? ???????? ???? ” ???? ???? ????? ??? ??????? , ????????? ???? , ??????????,??? ?? ?-???? ???????? ?? ??????????..

  • Peggy S.

    Dear Therese,
    I thought I was the only one who had to take “mini-steps” (e.g., take off pajamas, brush teeth) when I’m in the deepest depression with its awful brother, panic and anxiety. Suggestions such as get involved with your church,” plan a get-away trip, are too huge–even thinking about those steps makes my illness worse. Breaking things down into mini-mini steps and then noting I’ve done them in my journal seems to calm my mind and lead me to the next tiny thing I might be able to do. Thanks for showing me I’m not the only one.

  • Carrie Kukielka

    Hi! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before but after reading through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Anyhow, I’m definitely happy I found it and I’ll be bookmarking and checking back often!

Previous Posts

Seven Ways to Get Over an Infatuation
“Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I” wrote US songwriter Lorenz Hart about the feeling of infatuation. It’s blissful and euphoric, as we all know. But it’s also addicting, messy and blinding. Without careful monitoring, its wild ...

posted 12:46:43pm Feb. 19, 2014 | read full post »

When Faith Turns Neurotic
When does reciting scripture become a symptom of neurosis? Or praying the rosary an unhealthy compulsion? Not until I had the Book of Psalms practically memorized as a young girl did I learn that words and acts of faith can morph into desperate ...

posted 10:37:13am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

How to Handle Negative People
One of my mom’s best pieces of advice: “Hang with the winners.” This holds true in support groups (stick with the people who have the most sobriety), in college (find the peeps with good study habits), and in your workplace (stay away from ...

posted 10:32:10am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

8 Coping Strategies for the Holidays
For people prone to depression and anxiety – i.e. human beings – the holidays invite countless possibility to get sucked into negative and catastrophic thinking. You take the basic stressed-out individual and you increase her to-do list by a ...

posted 9:30:12am Nov. 21, 2013 | read full post »

Can I Say I’m a Son or Daughter of Christ and Suffer From Depression?
In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, we read: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” What if we aren’t glad, we aren’t capable of rejoicing, and even prayer ...

posted 10:56:04am Oct. 29, 2013 | read full post »


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