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Pheobe Prince: Mean Girls and the Lessons of Bullying

posted by Beyond Blue

pheobe king.jpgIt’s hard not to worry about the effects of bullying on today’s young people after reading headlines like Monday’s: “9 Teenagers Are Charged After Classmate’s Suicide.” We can hope the group of girls from South Hadley High School didn’t expect their taunting and threats to result in Irish student Phoebe Prince’s hanging herself in January.

 

But there you have it: words can and do hurt you, even if the old adage says they can’t.

I shudder when I hear stories like this because just the other night a few girlfriends were talking about their daughters, who are a few years older than Katherine, and how the cliques and meanness start well before junior high. The catty behavior of certain queen bees just floor the moms.

Was it that bad when we were in middle school, junior high, and high school?

I, for one, would rather skip to senior citizenship than go back in time. It was an awful period for me, as I had bad ache and was called “Pimple Face” by some, while my beautiful and popular twin sister got invited to all the parties. I still remember getting kicked out of one group because I couldn’t find a boy that liked me.

mean girls meaner women.pngErika Holiday and Joan Rosenberg, authors of “Mean Girls, Meaner Women,” say the female aggression thing doesn’t really get better as we mature. I agree with them to a certain point. My first job out of school was a toxic environment, where my boss made fun of me on a regular basis. But outside of that, what I find different now, then when I was that pimply pre-teen, is that I can remove myself from it much more easily. Yeah, the cliques and the cattiness are still there. But I don’t have engage in it. And, in fact, by removing myself from it–and staying accountable for my side of every relationship–I can help model to Katherine what to do if she’s the victim of mean behavior. They write:

 

As women learn to tolerate, manage and directly express unpleasant feelings of anger, aggression, competitiveness, envy, jealousy, or hurt more effectively with each other, we will see less relationally hurtful behavior between women. Model appropriate use of anger and direct expression of it within your relationships and it can help girls understand more about how to handle their angry feelings. It can also help girls understand that conflicts naturally occur in friendships and that these conflicts can be resolved in a direct and loving manner without damaging the friendship. Help your child articulate painful feelings–she may have to go through the messiness of learning how to get the words out–even if it is uncomfortable.

What do you think? How do we address the bullying problem?

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  • Kat

    Is it my imagination or does the media encourage this mean girl behavior? The “Housewives” shows, to some extent the “Survivor” shows, “Bridezilla”, I dream of a simpler time — “Little House on the Prairie” and “The Waltons”. Just my two cents.

  • Heather

    Why is the headline, “Pheobe King: Mean Girls and the Lessons of Bullying” when the girl’s name was Phoebe Prince? In other words, both her first name and last name are spelt wrong/misspecified…

  • Julie

    I firmly believe that bullying only flourishes in schools where it is tolerated. This may not be AS true today with all the cyber-bullying that goes on, but it still has some truth to it. I was a victim of horrible bullies as an 11 and 12 year old, and it did scar me for life. On a quick side note, isn’t it amazing how many say they were victims of bullying, but nobody ever admits to being a bully themselves? Somewhere along the line that math does not add up.
    Anyway – the bullying I was experiencing was simply chalked up to ‘kids being kids’. I think that’s a load of codswollop. As long as adults tolerate it, kids will do it. We need to set the examples. We need to make it as unacceptable as drunk driving and smoking while you’re pregnant. We need to encourage children to speak up when they SEE bullying happening, and support those who do speak up. We need to create a whole new culture around childhood and bullying. Only then will kids be prevented from having the kind of experience so many of us were forced to endure.

  • me

    I have heard it theorized that part of the problem is we don’t just let our kids play with other kids anymore. Because they don’t have enough experience navigating conflicts and relationships with other kids, they are turning to inappropriate behaviors more often. Since there is a general lack of experience dealing with peers in a non-structured environment, other kids who in the past would have created peer pressure against this sort of behavior don’t know how to pull those strings. I don’t know for sure if this is what is happening, but it makes some sense to me.

  • Jarrod@ Optimistic Journey

    I believe that it starts at home. A lot of these girls who are bullying others aren’t getting a positive role model at home. They’re not being taught true love and respect for people and as a result, the lack of this is manifesting itself outside of home. Personally I believe it all comes down to parenting at home. Some parents just don’t mature enough to instill that into their children.
    Great post, this is great food for thought.

  • Angela Lords

    I would love to say AMEN to Kat’s comment about the television and media encouraging these things in our young women!

  • Kathy

    I was horribly bullied in high school; I was bullied at the bus stop so badly my father drove me to school every day. There I was bullied in the bathroom so badly I used the teacher’s bathroom. People wrote obscenities on my locker, I was bullied int he classroom. At home I had a bipolar narcissist for a mother, a golden child for a perfect older sister and a well-meaning but totally whipped father. There was nowhere I felt safe. It of course affects me to this day , even though I became a licensed counselor and after a brief abusive marriage have been married to a wonderful man for 11 years. Do I ever feel safe in this world? No, not really. Do I trust my husband, the first and maybe only person who ever loved me? Yes. Can I totally surrender to him? No. When you endure so much, so early in life, I’m not sure it can ever be truly “overcome.” And then church and society puts this huge psychic burden of forgiveness on you, when the people who crapped all over you have no such burden. The people who should feel guilty don’t, and the rest of us carry the guilt for everyone else. If adults treated each other the way kids in school do, there would be criminal charges and jail time. I’m not sure why no such charges are brought very often for those under 18.

  • Juls

    I’ve been dealing with this with the catty women across the street. They have been pushing me and pushing me to the point of thinking more and more about suicide. I’m worried one day that I am going to get to my breaking point and do it, leaving behind my husband and son.
    It’s a whole long story on how this all got started that I won’t bore you with, and it’s been a really long year. We are thinking about just leaving our house for the bank and moving into a rental, that’s how bad it is and gets to me. And as most of you know, having depression makes it even worse.

  • Your Name

    My 6th grade son has been a victim of bullying this year in school. I have called the school numerous times to get it stopped.He gets called names,pushed,punched etc.I have warned my son to travel and pairs and never go in a room that doesn’t have a secondary exit.He is afraid to tell on the kids because then they threaten to beat him up. I told him not telling will not make it stop. I continue to battle with the school.Unfortunatly there is only one school in the county he can go to.I have been talking to many parents that have the same problem. It seems that the school system doesn’t know how to stop the problem.

  • lynn

    For one, the schools and even businesses need to set a “NO Bullying” policy. We need to instill into the minds of our officials and Govt. that bullying is along the lines of assault and should be counted as a form of murder when someone dies. Bullying is just as bad as those things.

  • Delmar W. Arave

    I also detest the Bully. Bullie’s are either cowards or just plain mean. Standing up to them will tell you which type they are.
    If they do not back down, you will know they were born to be mean.
    Either way you can learn whom to avoid.
    Some of my best friends I once had to pick a fight with in order to find out if they were cowardly or mean, then I found out that they were a lot like me and a kinship formed.
    Pity the bully, & understand the coward, they need more love to give them courage.

  • Your Name

    Thank you for this article…My daughter whom is 12 as of right now has been target of “means girls” since 5th grade. Yes, 5th grade. She is now in 6th and the mean girls still target her on a daily basis. This all started because in her 5th year of school she choice to be friends with a girl whom was not social excepted. my daughter choice to be friends with this girl knowing she in turn would be a target to hateful words and actions towards her. I am very proud of my daughter for standing up for right to choice her friends but so concerned about the daily harrassment she indores. I do believe these girls actions are tolarate at home and are so overlooked at home for the damage these actions can cause. I am at a lose sometimes on what words I can say to my daughter when I see the pain day and day out on her face. I am thinking about private school next year for her but I know, mean girls are every where.

  • Debbie

    I am totally appalled that this type of behavior is allowed to exist today. Our children have enough to deal with as it is, to get more crap thrown in their way from people that they are supposed to get along with or even adults they are supposed to look up to. My daughter was bullied in a private christian school she attended. My husband and I thought that by enrolling her in this type of school would, in essence, protect her from the harshness of public school. Unfortunately we came to realize that the very thing we were trying to protect her from was an acceptable form of behavior in this environment. One thing to keep in mind too is that it’s not just kids that bully other kids. Adults are quick to pass judgement on children who may not act the way they want them to or because of the thoughts, behaviors or actions of their parents or relatives. After moving her to a magnet public school, our daughter thrived. She was exposed to a diverse, non-judgemental group of people and as a parent I was encouraged to become active and participate in her activities. While she has had some hic-ups along the way, the open environment that was offered gave her a forum to practice the values we’ve always taught her. She’s 15 now and I am surprised by her strong sense of what is right and wrong. Moving her to a public school and maintaining a presence and acting as an advocate for her was the best thing we could have done for her.

  • Your Name

    We may all be at fault of criticism, but bullying is just not allowed or accepted in our home. We encourage our Teenagers not to be too critical nor cynical of those who may carry themselves differently. Both of mine have a web of friends, and I am proud to say that they know went to cut off, joke, be blunt, but not be cruel. I is all a matter of teaching the differences. They are funny, and their friends are so varied, I am not sure I could say that they are clicks. They just know everybody, have their closer friends, but even when some have fallen in to a different path, regardless if they don’t agree with what they may be up to, they still say hello. My Girl says that she will most likely go into Psychology, because everyone comes to her with their issues and she already feels like she is councelling her peers. I hope she stays determined. My boy, he is one of a kind. No clicks, but does too have his closer ones. Very forgiving, can’t stand bullies, Oh & most Important they are both Black Belts, Self confidence and believing in yourself does wonders for the outcome of a child’s state of mind and balance. That indeed I owe to Martial Arts! Respect, keep away, walk away, and only when absolutelly necessary then defend yourself!

  • http://www.bullyingreportingsystem.com/ Brandon Burnside

    Well this simply sickens me. I was bullied badly. My son was assaulted in 2nd grade and had chronic nose bleeds for years, for which he had to have surgery last week. He was attacked last year and had his head slammed into wooden cabinets. I pressed charges and there were three witnesses, then the Pinellas County Judge dropped them. What kind of message are the professionals sending to these children about their behavior? They don’t care and it isn’t a big deal. Yeah unless it was their kid I’m sure. Even the teachers turn their heads and don’t want to be bothered.

  • Christine

    This just sickens me. I was harrassed as a young girl for being overweight. It was painful. I did confront some of my taunters, but was never without comments. I think kids and teens can be cruel, just as some adults are, but I hope and pray that most grow out of it and become mature adults. Looking at the garbage that is shown on TV and movies, it’s worse than ever. I believe that certain manners and principals are not being taught in the home….sad, very sad. What is our future going to be like?…Sad and Cruel.

  • dave

    Unforgiveness has alot to do with this behavior. Children who come from abusive relationships, especially those who were abused by a parent, are those who are most vulnerable and eventually the next generation to inflict more pain. Even our own government teaches an eye for an eye by going to war. The message is twisting the truth and teaching false doctrine as opposed to the full Gospel of Christ.Hurt that keeps on hurting and not healing.Seperating church and state, good and evil. How about recognizing the fact that there is a large need for gracefull relationships, a real rare thing. Competition is being bred in our school systems,on tv,and even in ungraceful families.Only Christ filled people who have compassion without sacrifice can make a difference.Where are these angels for healing? Pray!!!!!!!

  • Wildstar

    Dear Juls,
    Please don’t take your life!! I would suggest contacting a law firm and see if you have any legal grounds, like harassment, against those women. It’s possible that you can pursue this legally and that might solve your problem. There are such things as slander and defamation of character which are against the law. I would seek legal advice immediately instead of being tormented. I will pray for you in the meantime.

  • Penny

    This should be a lesson to “ALL” parents! Talk to ur children and model ur behavior! A very good friend of mine just lost her daughter, she was stabbed by another girl over a text! This has to stop! How can a 15 yr have that much angry inside of them! This paticular girl that murdered my friends daughter watched her parents fight physically every day! We as parents have to understand, children mock our behavior! This vicious cycle has to stop! God Bless all!

  • Your Name

    Yes, it did go on when we were kids, and no, it’s not just girls.
    I’ve recounted a couple of different times on Beyond Blue how I was mercilessly bullied in middle school. It played a very large role in my first suicide attempt at 13 — to be fair, my parents were getting divorced and I think the very first twinges of what would become bipolar disorder were being felt, but nevertheless, I feel to this day that the bullying was the largest factor in me becoming suicidal.
    Shame on me for letting one of the bullies in particular insinuate his way back into my life and bully me again as an adult. But shame on society for letting people bully without consequences (unless you count the one, one-day in-school suspension the lead bully got — one I got too for being caught getting pummeled by him and trying to fight back).
    The boys who bullied me are today “pillars of society” — prestigious doctors in two cases, a multi-millionaire Internet guru in another. Which leads me, just as smart but of very modest means, to wonder — how much of their wealth was gained from mere intelligence and how much gained from similar, “bully”-like behavior as adults?

  • Larry Parker

    (That’s me, by the way …)

  • Tiny

    I remember when i was very young,
    I was always bullying by tall girls and they were mean girls.
    That how they were by hanging around groups.
    But now, years and years pass by and they kids are being bully around.
    like the old saying “What goes around, comes around.

  • http://bullying barbara j whitmore

    I have two teen daughters, both very successful dancers. We have homeschooled since they were very young, so they do not have the esteem issues that mainstream girls have. They have had strong women coaches/mentors who do not tolerate any crap at practice or in the dressing room, and they have been raised with Buddhist values which really helps. While jealousy issues arise because of their talent, I am lucky because their exposure is limited and they have,so far, handled those mean girls by avoiding them. However,they are reminded that the entertainment world is rife with such issues

  • jkat

    If you are even somewhat like what I am about to describe, contact the link I listed, and get help.
    My problem is not as a doer of the bullying, but a recipient. As a “family member” and recipient, it is my utmost effort to keep conscious of not being a doer, from knowing the hurt of the recipient.
    Certain family members have developed differing levels of the meanness it takes to “dish out” some of the terrible things I have witnessed. To start, they work on sneaky, two-faced premises, acting like your friend, and later on poisonings, contacting friends and spreading lies, slander, and contemptuous concoctions, which are aimed at belittling the “bullied” through giving adequateness a false perspective.
    In my family, the weak minded, not so moral types, seemed to have followed a leader, who had learned the most about being a bully, fraud, to levels greater than the rest of them. Since the leader had enough money, a bully could be picked, and a game ensued, with an elevated status, bragging rights, and even cash prizes for the “dirtiest” trick played on the bullied person.
    From the setup explained, things escalated, to where as the bullied, I was almost dead. In their progression, some of the more prominent elements they put together include: setting up spy materials in my home, at first to get audible contacts, and next to get advanced cameras into my home, to now hear and see whatever I was doing. Their past histories was built on contacts with and in some cases criminal elements, having done “time” and learned even more ways to “work someone over” through the whole scheme of their game. Contacts with acquaintances at work, school, and everywhere else could be had, in time. Little by little, things were added on to their arsenal of spywares, until ones whole life could be looked in on, and attempts to control things to their liking, meant a life in ruins, with little left to live for.
    Police contacts are not even considered, because the nature of their enterprise will make the bullied person appear to be delusional and paranoid. Moving far away is the only legal option. Any other prospect proves illegal or as immoral as being part of their game, to “stoop to their level”. For this reason, I am now far away, happy, starting a new life, with good people surrounding me, and have no family.

  • Your Name

    This is a tragedy, but it goes way beyond “normal” bullying when I grew up. This is assault. This included statutory rape by a few boys, which I presume was not consensual as well….
    I was bullied in the late 70s by a girl in middle school who would make me give her part of my lunch money. Annoying, and yes I didn’t like it–but not traumatic.
    These larger than life scenarios get publicity, and they should, but the NY Times had an editorial on how “mean girls” is way more stereotypical, and that the rate of teen girl violence is declining, not rising, overall.
    http://www.nytimes.com/2010/04/02/opinion/02males.html?th&emc=th

  • Your Name

    What happened to that irish girl was genuinely heartbreaking but, I also can’t help but wonder if there was a little more to that story than meets the eye.
    For myself, I’ve been through it all: recipient, bully (as well as being bullied into being a bully). No matter how one can look at this issue, at least my experience tells me that it is about immaturity, insecurity, and ultimately, about power. I believe that it is a lot of things: it keeps happening earlier and earlier because girls either are vitimized that often and/or they monkey what they see so often. And maybe, (big maybe) its a manifestation of excessive girl power (living in a society nowadays where its so ingrained into women of all ages to be empowered, stong, and to not take crap from nobody…to a point entitled to power and thinking that it’s normal to lord it over others.

  • sheila martens

    I feel like those in authority should be held responsible & punished as well as the bullies. I don’t believe for one minute others didn’t know what was going on. Make an example of the cowards who turn their heads, & hold no ownership in this tragedy. My husband was bullied every day of his freshman ( 10th grade) year, & nothing was ever done. He was punched in the stomache & his lunch money taken away. This was 55 YEARS AGO so it’s been around for a long time. The good thing about it is they have all died ( not sure they went to heaven) but they were the most hateful jocks in the school!!!!!! My husband is a wonderful, caring & loving husband, dad & grandpa, but he has never forgotten how he was bullied.

  • Vallerie

    If you think it is harmless and you are not concerned about your kids bullying other kids, just think about the funeral arrangements you will have to make for the bullies.
    Most kids dont consider suicide, after this last group most kids are thinking homicide.
    Thats right! this is how devasting it is to be bullied. Some Teachers are scared to death of some of these bully students and some teacher have inappropriate relationship with some of the bullies.
    Trust me after these last suicides, I would not be surprised if some parents arent arming their kids with weapons. This can be an all out war zone.
    If you love them, warn them, You could be saving your childs life by telling him or her that some people have a limit to how much they can take.
    Please dont assume that there are no more “Columbinist” out there planning to strike and blow your kids brains on the walls of the class room.

  • Your Name

    It’s amazing that in this day and age, the problem is even worse. I went through a terrible period in middle school, facing the same problem. I didn’t fit in to a private catholic school group with the “elite” daughters of doctors, dentists, etc. from Mexico. The sad part is the Catholic nuns did nothing to stop this. I still remember the hurtful things that were said to me and I do bear a grudge against these girls. Is is something that bothers me to this day and I will never forget it. It certainly has shaped my life and in a not so positive way. I have made sure that none of my 4 children have been bullies to others in school or out. They have told me that other students laugh and call developmentally disabled students names. This is sad and very upsetting!

  • http://bullying laura

    I really can relate to all this bullying. I too was (they called it teasing) back then.Now they call it bullying and it is rampant. I dont know why if you say something to a parent… or better yet a parent hears it being done to a child they do NOTHING…. just like when the woman was stabbed years ago and people heard the screams and did nothing !! The schools are just as bad…. some of them do nothing and if a parent of the child who is being bullied… goes to the school it is sometimes worse. What kind of society do we live in today ????
    I have a neighbor that is constantly ding things to my property…. no proof mind you…. ah yes the new sulveilance system…. I will let you know what happens in the coming weeks. That was my solution. A person that bullies is in secure and they fell more powerful; when they bully someone. Self esteem needs to be raise in our children. Dove has a great self esteem program for young girls. Tahnks for letting me vent
    God Bless all those wh have been bullied that they get the courage to…. stand up for themselves

  • Lisa

    When my son was in middle school he was bullied constantly. It got to the point where he was in a scuffle at least once every week or two. The school blamed him, told both of us that he should be the mature one and walk away, ignore the taunts, pushes, and shoves. The problem with this is that it doesn’t stop the bullying and only encourages them to continue. How many of us would let someone grab our books and notebooks out of our hands and watch as they’re destroyed and do nothing? If someone on the street hit or shoved you wouldn’t you at least defend yourself? I didn’t want my son to fight and tried my best to teach him how to handle things in a nonviolent way. Unfortunately there is a pecking order and my son had to fight once or twice to prove he wouldn’t be a victim anymore. I could not fault him for protecting himself. He is a sweet and loving man now and has a real heart for people that are underdogs. The damage done to the victims should not be allowed, period in the schools.

  • Lori

    I was kind of lucky I guess, after reading all these stories. I wasn’t bullied and I was kind of a social butterfly because I was an Army brat and had to learn to make friends. However…my parents instilled me a very deep and distinct sense of fairness and social justice: stand up for those who can’t or won’t do it for themselves, a silent observer throws punches that hurt even deeper, courage is not in walking away but in drawing your lines with dignity and preparing for the cost. I did just that and took my fair share of crap but I really didn’t mind. Bullies aren’t born, they’re made in many different ways but it can always be brought back to the parents – yes, even the ones who claim their children are angels which is usually WHY they’re bullies. I’ve a gay son who was bullied much through much of highschool UNTIL he’d had enough and finally decked a kid for shoving him around. The verbal crap continued until I filed harassment/hate charges through the local school board and police but the physical part stopped. I also talked to him about it regularly. My oldest was easy because he was Mr. Popular. Now my 11 year old daughter is in the cross hairs of a group of hateful girls because she is very thin, very pretty, very smart and very nice…something this group of girls is not. So…we talk. ANd…she’ll be testing for her black belt in tae kwon do in October. I will arm her in every way I know how because I cannot rely on other parents teaching THEIR children it’s not ok to bully..not okay to fight..not okay to be a bully.

  • Your Name

    I was one of the outcast kids that was taunted and bullied when I was in school and it did alot of long term damage. I really don’t have many good memories of my school days like so many people do. Schools seem to turn away from these situations which only make the victim think it’s okay and that they are less of a person.

  • DB

    To Kathy
    I read your post and I feel so bad for you. Not only to have put up with bullying in school, but to have a dysfunctional mother on top of it, I can’t blame you for still having issues. Kids have to learn that bullying of any kind is not to be tolerated. I’ve tried to raise my 3 sons this way.
    I too was subject to bullying in elementary school – I have seen these very same people at reunions (high school) and they had the nerve to come over and try to start a conversation, (knowing full well what they did, but probably have conveniently forgotten about it). You’re right about the “forget and move on” stuff – sometimes it’s not that easy……

  • Your Name

    To Laura -
    I was harassed by a neighbor for over 8 years – she was in cahouts with another neighbor and they wreaked havoc throughtout the neighborhoor with their lies, etc (even called CPS – unfounded of course). This witch finally moved away (after I called the police, who threatened to arrest her if she didn’t stop bothering me and my husband). The people I feel sorry for are her 3 kids, who I hope don’t grow up to be like her!

  • Your Name

    If we don’t put some stopgaps into place on these girls we are going to really pay for down the road. Girls/women can really be meaner that boys/men ever even thought of and that is NOT a good thing or a sign of increased strength or intelligence. In this case it is was it what it is “mean” and “stupid” and until we stop this craziness in our society where girls (and boys) are rewarded for this bullying and meanness,it’s just going to keep getting worse.
    It’s time we come out of the 70′s and stop ignoring and making excuses for girls/women such as the girls, who have a responsibility to act like “human beings” rather than being allowed to act like the catty people that they are acting like. 5000 years of male dominance does not warrant allowing this behavior. We’ve come to a point where we’ve catered to girls so much that we are creating a generation of sociopaths. These girls are showing us through their behavior that it’s time for them to be reigned in some. Not by going back to the 50′s with the “little woman” but by, like with boys/men and contrary to popular belief, giving stiff consequences so that these girls/women learn that bullying and cattiness isn’t okay.

  • Larry Parker

    By the way, there have been two horrific incidents of bullying in South Florida (IN THE SAME MIDDLE SCHOOL, no less) in recent months that have gotten national attention — one where a boy was burned alive by five classmates; another where a girl was beaten into a coma by the boyfriend of her supposed friend who helped with the attack.
    Both children, by the grace of God, lived — though neither is out of the woods.
    (And for anyone who thinks this is an issue of poverty or deprivation, the school is in a solidly middle-class area near affluent Boca Raton.)
    So for anyone who doubts it, bullying is literally life-threatening in the 21st century.

  • alisia

    my 15 year old daughter is getting bullie’ed by other girl’s in a group home,were she stay’s .it makes it harder because if she fights back she will go to the juvie hall,or moved to another group home,,,,this one perticuler girl teases my daughter,she’ll call crying that she can’t take it and she is either going to run or beat her up ,,i try to talk her down .but it is hard,,kids at school pick on her and my daughter gets sent home and then gets in trouble by the staff, and they cancel our counling appt, whice i don’t understand!

  • Pam S

    I can’t help but think that the behavior of girls & boys in elementary, middle and high schools is a microcosm of the direction our country has been going during the past decades. We ALL are a part of the “reasons:” manners and kindnesses have gone;”Stupid & Dumb” are “IN” and “Using Your Bean” (my father’s term for intellect) is “OUT.” Trust is gone and Suspicions are rampant. Religions teach HATE (sorry, but that’s what it IS). Everyone seems to behave as if THEIR WAY is the ONLY way.
    WHERE did VALUES go? WHERE did COMPROMISE go? Those who attempt to teach or offer those things are shouted down. You all are so right that “Parents” are also to blame, but WHO taught THEM? We have a terrible vicious cycle going on and it must be STOPPED now. Wrong is Wrong. We need teachers, judges, parents,& clergy to stand up for UNIVERSAL VALUES and to make sure that kids understand what is allowed is also positive and productive.
    My heart aches for all the kids who were and are being bullied. God Bless every one of you.

  • Your Name

    I feel a similarity to the “Megan Mier” situation in a my space internet hoax in 2007-2008 around that time. In the case of Phoebe Prince these teens should be given the same treatment that the Megan Mier case got. Involving the infamous “Lori Drew and Curt Drew. Also neighborhood shunning should take place in the South Hadley community. They are both sad situations of cyber bullying. In coincidence…Megan Mier looks alot like Phoebe Prince. Just my opinion on these two matters. If you look at both of their pic’s the resembling is clear to me anyway..They do look alike. Thanks for listening.

  • http://www.yams.com TomPier

    great post as usual!

  • http://wow Travis

    That is HEACKA mean

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Mean Gurl

    That’s right, all of us mean girls get away with everything, adn I think it should stay that way. I don’t care if all of you suffer. I actually think it’s kind of funny! Suffer losers!

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posted 12:46:43pm Feb. 19, 2014 | read full post »

When Faith Turns Neurotic
When does reciting scripture become a symptom of neurosis? Or praying the rosary an unhealthy compulsion? Not until I had the Book of Psalms practically memorized as a young girl did I learn that words and acts of faith can morph into desperate measures to control a mood disorder, that faithfulness

posted 10:37:13am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

How to Handle Negative People
One of my mom’s best pieces of advice: “Hang with the winners.” This holds true in support groups (stick with the people who have the most sobriety), in college (find the peeps with good study habits), and in your workplace (stay away from the drama queen at the water cooler). Why? Because we

posted 10:32:10am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

8 Coping Strategies for the Holidays
For people prone to depression and anxiety – i.e. human beings – the holidays invite countless possibility to get sucked into negative and catastrophic thinking. You take the basic stressed-out individual and you increase her to-do list by a third, stuff her full of refined sugar and processed f

posted 9:30:12am Nov. 21, 2013 | read full post »

Can I Say I’m a Son or Daughter of Christ and Suffer From Depression?
In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, we read: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” What if we aren’t glad, we aren’t capable of rejoicing, and even prayer is difficult? What if, instead, everything looks dark,

posted 10:56:04am Oct. 29, 2013 | read full post »




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