Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue

Getting Real: Facing the Greatest Fear of All

I loved this blog post by my therapist friend, Elvira Aletta, because I so related to it. As I told her, on my insecure days I don’t read my comments, especially on the Huffington Post, after my sex post provoked almost 761 nasty remarks.


And maybe this is why I love Elvira’s writing. She is real. She throws out her insecurities for the masses to judge. And some do. Harshly. But I’m glad she’s going to keep on writing, despite the negativity that can so easily tempt you to be artificial and saccarine, to pick up the mask, and never let anyone see you for who you are.


You can get to Elvira’s post, “Getting Real: Facing the Greatest Fear,” by clicking here. I have excerpted from it below.

Unexpectedly I faced one of my greatest fears yesterday. Of course it would be Halloween.

Feeling bouncy and full of myself I decided on a whim to publish the article I wrote about my name and Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, on PsychCentral. Something light for Halloween, I thought.

After the article was posted I went about my business. Later, when I checked on it again, my blood ran cold. Someone left a not-so-nice comment:


“Would you like cheese with your whine?”

Ouch. Well gee, I guess I could see someone looking at it that way. I let it go. Comments that aren’t positive is part of the blogging territory, part of being “out there.” I went back to work. Two hours later I peeked again, another comment, this one stopped me in my tracks:

“You’re stupid.”

Oh, boy. Now what do I do? Take down the post? Leave it and see what happens? Did I make a terrible mistake that was bound to destroy my reputation? Who did I think I was anyway?

Can you smell the panic?

I tried to breathe. It helped but my heart was still beating too fast. I drank a cool glass of water. Better. Quickly I texted a cry for help to my editor, Steve, and then drove home.


When I walked into my house I smelled the delicious aroma of dinner. My husband, who was cooking, greeted me, quickly followed by my daughter and my dog. Gratitude washed over me.

You may think I’m exaggerating this whole thing, it seems so silly, but these were my genuine feelings.

The tag line up on my flag head says “for those with courageous hearts but with thin skins,” because I suspect many of us who deal with anxiety and depression feel just like that. Never do I want this blog to be a vanity project. My mission is to help people be resilient, not just temporarily happy. Everyone deserves to feel strong and confident no matter what life brings, to know they can deal with anything and thrive. In order to do this effectively I fully admit, I’m not just a teacher, I’m also a student.


To continue reading Elvira’s post, “Getting Real,” click here.

Click here to subscribe to Beyond Blue and click here to follow Therese on Twitter and click here to join Group Beyond Blue, a depression support group. Now stop clicking.

  • tricia in sc

    Im in a deep depression right now and can not see my way out im son is in the war in afghanistan my marriage is in the toilet after 20 yrs i just dont know what to do next!!! immobilized by fear of the unknown and to top it off i was raped just 9 months ago i cant take no more unhappiness

  • Deb

    I hope you realize that part of “getting real” is realizing that when someone replies to your post with: “You’re stupid” — that’s THEIR reality — NOT yours…

  • StrivingToWin

    I don’t know how spiritual you are, but pray! Prayer helps and it changes things. My son has severe PTSD to the point of psychotic episodes where he attacks strangers on the streets. This is a nightmare, as one of the strangers pulled a gun that I had to wrestle away from him to keep him from shooting my son. My 16-year marriage has cracked under the pressure of us losing our home 2 years ago through no fault of ours. I am currently out of work because I had a heart attack, and now my blood pressure won’t stabilize. I live with my mother who is mean, thoughtless, and is not (nor has she ever been) emotionally supportive. I have a glimpse of what you’re going through. Pray. Give it to someone who can handle it; it is too much for a mere mortal.
    Prayer has helped me when I felt at the end of my rope, and that is how you sound. Remember that we are not given more that we can bear; it just feels like it. Please keep coming back to post so that you can get out your pain and grief. Holding it in makes it worse. Find a rape crisis center in your area so you can get counseling. That has got to be awful.
    I’ll keep you in my prayers. Please seek help.

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