A typical Saturday morning in our highly-sensitive house looks like this:
2:00 a.m. HSH (highly sensitive husband) goes downstairs to sleep on the couch because he keeps getting awoken by the loud snoring of his HSW (highly sensitive wife), who is having anxiety dreams (she missed her final exam because she got carried away with the ice-cream machine at the dining hall–filling up 21 small paper ketchup containers with all the different flavors, all of which are too cold on her highly sensitive teeth).
2:10 a.m. HSH is back upstairs to get a softer pillow for his highly sensitive head.
5:15 a.m. The state of South Dakota on the HSB’s (highly sensitive boy’s) talking puzzle of the United States wakes up HSH again. He bangs it with his highly sensitive hand, but it won’t stop saying “Pierre is the capital of South Dakota. Population, 14,000.” Finally, the miffed HSH goes into his highly sensitive woodshop (the garage) to get a screwdriver to dismantle the thing. As he yanks the IN (insensitive) AA Energizer batteries out of there, it finally shuts up. This reminds HSH of the time his HSW tossed a Winnie the Pooh keychain into the back yard when it got stuck playing the Winnie the Pooh theme song. (Her efforts with a hammer in the woodshop didn’t succeed at rendering the thing mute … So every time she opened the back door to let the dogs do their business for three days–until the AA Energizers finally surrendered–she heard the annoying tune.)
5:30 a.m. HSH’s cell phone rings as an alarm (set on a gentle ring). He begins his day early in order to sneak at least a half-hour of quiet, alone time before the HSB (highly sensitive boy) and HSG (highly sensitive girl) rise from their highly sensitive beds.
6:00 a.m. HSB wakes up because his highly sensitive ears heard the coffee grains being tossed in the trash. He watches highly sensitive cartoons (just kidding … there are none), while HSH pays the household highly sensitive bills: for items such as swimming shirts to protect against too much UV rays and pollution (pee and worse) in the pool, extra expensive sunscreen for highly sensitive skin, psychiatrist visits for HSW (highly sensitive wife), Chemlawn services for the HSY (highly sensitive yard), organic fruits and meats for highly sensitive digestive systems, bottles of glucosamine-condrotin for highly sensitive joints, boxes of Omega-3 supplements for sensitive brains, lots of vitamin C for highly sensitive immune systems, and high dollar running shoes for highly sensitive feet (with extra high arches).
7:00 a.m. HSG (highly sensitive girl) wakes up, at first panicking because HSM (highly sensitive mom) is nowhere to be seen.
7:15 a.m. HSM tries to dress HSG. The first outfit irritates HSG’s highly sensitive neck (no turtle necks, Mom!); the second doesn’t cover her HSG’s highly sensitive bellybutton; the third isn’t the right shade of pink; the fourth doesn’t match HSG’s mood. HSM tells HSG that she is wearing the fifth outfit or else HSG goes naked for the day. Then they together begin the scavenger hunt for one of HSG’s three pair of glasses for her highly sensitive eyes.
7:30 a.m. HSM sneaks out for her sanity break, a run around the Naval Academy that serves as overarousal insurance, extra padding around her extra sensitive self, which might delay a breakdown caused by overstimulation by at least two hours.