Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue

10 More Stress Busters

close eyes.jpeg

In November I shared with you 10 of my stress busters. But lately I’ve needed 20. So here are 10 more.

1. Avoid stimulants and sugar.

Here’s the catch-22: the more stressed you get, the more you crave coffee and doughnuts, pizza and Coke. But the more coffee, Coke, doughnuts, and pizza in your system, the more stressed you get. It’s not your imagination. When you are stressed and have low levels of serotonin, your brain produces cravings for sugar and simple carbohydrates, which primes the beta-endorphin system to want more and more. The same with caffeine. It’s a powerful drug that affects a number of neurochemicals in your brain, which means it produces withdrawal symptoms that can make you very very very very irritable.


2. Compare and despair.

The last thing you should do when you’re stressed–which I always do when I’m stressed–is start looking around at other people’s package (job, family support, balanced brain) and pine for some of that. I grow especially jealous of non-addict friends who can enjoy a glass of wine with dinner or those with moms nearby that offer to take the kids for sleepovers. But I don’t have all the information. The mom who takes the kids for the night might also have an opinion for every piece of furniture in your house and her own spare key to your home so she can pop in whenever. So comparing my insides to someone else’s outsides is a fruitless and dangerous game to play, especially when I’m stressed.


3. Get grateful.

Along those lines, it’s time for me to tell you to think happy thoughts. Can gratitude really combat the cortisol in your bloodstream? Yes. Dan Baker writes in “What Happy People Know”: “Research now shows that it is physiologically impossible to be in a state of appreciation and a state of fear at the same time. Thus, appreciation is the antidote to fear.”

4. Avoid negative people.

Of course, staying grateful is a lot easier if you are hanging with the right crowd. Because once the negativity is out there, it’s up to you to tell your brain not to dwell on it. And, well, if you’re like me, that cognitive exchange demands a lot of energy. Best to choose your friends carefully and avoid the toxic conversations as much as you can.


5. Clean and de-clutter.

Cleaning is a therapeutic activity that distracts your stressed-out brain while delivering it something it desperately wants: order. As an architect, Eric is always telling me how my mess contributes to my anxiety–that the endless piles of paper on my desk can very definitely sabotage my mood. Every time I take his advice–and spend a day purging and organizing–I realize how right he is.

6. Sleep.

Everything breaks down when you don’t sleep well. Any sleep disturbance will diminish mental performance. Stress affects sleep and vice versa. Researchers at Pennsylvania State University College of Medicine compared patients with insomnia to those without sleep disruptions and found that the insomniacs with the most severe sleep disturbances secreted the highest amount of cortisol.


7. Categorize your problems.

If you lump your problems into categories, you will feel like you have less obstacles. I spend some time doing this in therapy every other week. Because to solve each and every hiccup is too overwhelming. But if they are organized into neat and tidy themes–such as “my boundaries issues”–then a few tweaks here or there can be applied to a variety of situations.

8. Lower your standards.

Who do think is crippled by more stress: the guy who esteems to flip burgers at McDonald’s or a woman set on becoming the first woman president of the United States? My point is less about what you want to be when you grow up and more about firing the perfectionist in your head who won’t accept anything less from you than a five-star performance. She could single-handedly cause a lot of stress.


9. Just say no.

If you haven’t yet learned how to politely decline offers to head the next school fundraiser, it’s time you stand in front of a mirror and practice. Repeat after me: “Mr. X, I am so flattered by the invitation to serve on your committee. Really I am. But I just simply can’t do it at this time.” Man, I feel better just writing that.

10. Learn how to recharge.

Many folks know how to have fun and recharge their batteries. Mentally-ill addicts like myself have to learn this from scratch. After some experimentation I know that spending quiet time by the water (kayaking, running, biking in warmer months), reading spiritual literature, and watching a movie with a friend are all ways that will nurture me so that I can better tolerate stress. Know your rechargers and do them routinely.

To read more Beyond Blue, go to, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.

  • EG0914

    I don’t understand how to go about doing #7 … help?

  • Richard

    #1 is a biggie for me. My anxiety condition also has a dyspnea side to it (I think that is the right word). Without the sugar and caffeine I am ready to fall on my face. With them, I may be functional, sort of.
    #8 and some of the other related ones are killers for me. At 57 I have functioning body parts (mostly) but the anxiety demon (I call him George) has taken over and I walk like my body parts are falling off. The heart is happy, the blood O2 level is never below 95% but I feel like I am working on a quarter of a lung, maybe. The conclusion of the last medical series was that there was no physiological reason found to date. So I am disabled and nobody can give me a nice cause and effect reason. No wonder I’m depressed!
    But I have to admit that I have been quite successful in lowering my standards. Granted, I didn’t have any choice in the matter, but I still like it was something that I moved through with a certain amount of …., what is a good word or phrase for this? Grace? Let’s just say grace.

Previous Posts

Seven Ways to Get Over an Infatuation
“Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I” wrote US songwriter Lorenz Hart about the feeling of infatuation. It’s blissful and euphoric, as we all know. But it’s also addicting, messy and blinding. Without careful monitoring, its wild ...

posted 12:46:43pm Feb. 19, 2014 | read full post »

When Faith Turns Neurotic
When does reciting scripture become a symptom of neurosis? Or praying the rosary an unhealthy compulsion? Not until I had the Book of Psalms practically memorized as a young girl did I learn that words and acts of faith can morph into desperate ...

posted 10:37:13am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

How to Handle Negative People
One of my mom’s best pieces of advice: “Hang with the winners.” This holds true in support groups (stick with the people who have the most sobriety), in college (find the peeps with good study habits), and in your workplace (stay away from ...

posted 10:32:10am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

8 Coping Strategies for the Holidays
For people prone to depression and anxiety – i.e. human beings – the holidays invite countless possibility to get sucked into negative and catastrophic thinking. You take the basic stressed-out individual and you increase her to-do list by a ...

posted 9:30:12am Nov. 21, 2013 | read full post »

Can I Say I’m a Son or Daughter of Christ and Suffer From Depression?
In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, we read: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” What if we aren’t glad, we aren’t capable of rejoicing, and even prayer ...

posted 10:56:04am Oct. 29, 2013 | read full post »


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.