Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue


Susan Schechter: A New Hollowness in my Soul

posted by Beyond Blue

depressed woman.jpg

I just received the kindest note from Beyond Blue reader Caroline who said that when she can’t sleep at night, sometimes she watches my videos … that I have a fierceness in my expression that gives her courage to fight. Wow. That made my day. I recognize the same fierceness in Susan Schechter who just penned an incredible piece on her blog, “If You’re Going Through Hell Keep Going.” You can get to the piece by clicking here. I’ve excerpted the beginning ….

She sits in front of me in a big overstuffed black leather chair, black patent pumps swaying softly while she crosses and uncrosses her legs as a nervous tick. 

She is made up and looks like she just stepped out of Vogue for working women. I, on the other hand, look like an unmade bed. It’s been a week since my hair was washed, and that long since I showered. I did brush my teeth and floss before I got there, and brushed my long blonde hair, tying it up in a scrunchie. My jeans are clean, but the shirt I threw on, a black turtle from LL Bean, has a white mark from deodorant, and should have gone straight in the laundry pile. No make up , not even a trace of lip gloss. My shoes are brand new and hurt, brownish tan clogs from my parents for Christmas to replace the blue ones the cat destroyed a few months earlier.

We are discussing my current med cocktail. The fact that it appears that my thyroid has shut down or is shutting down because I am constantly tired and sleeping close to 16 hours a day. I cannot eat but am drinking copious amounts of water. I crave sugar. The Dunkin Donuts across the street is singing a Siren Song to me.

Continue reading the piece by clicking here.

To read more Beyond Blue, go to http://blog.beliefnet.com/beyondblue, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.

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  • Leslie

    Susan,
    Krispy Creme sings my song. Keep your sense of humor when you are able. You are wonderful.

  • http://community.beliefnet.com/doxieman122 Larry Parker

    (((Susan)))

  • pammyleefmsd

    I really don’t know what I would do without Beyond Blue Therese. Your column, posts & videos have helped me cope – especially now when I haven’t been going to meetings much. Thank you. So much!

  • Pat

    I love your site and all the comments people make. I am doing so much better from reading this site every day. I am out of work and my husband is disabled. Because of my depression and my father’s serious illness I was forced to quit my job. Now I am looking for work again. We are paying COBRA right now. My husband has several health issues and so do I. But I have faith that I will find some kind of work with benefits. My husband just found out that he can get some kind of medical benefits from his teacher’s disability insurance. THat would really help us for now. I have been in worse situations before. I know that God will help us. We are paying our bills and keeping up right now and I know with faith and the support from this site and my good friends and family we will get through this rough time. Keep all your comments coming. I appreciate all the good thoughts and ideas from everyone.
    thank you,
    Pat

  • Joseph

    Hey there…?! My name is Joseph and I feel led to share w/ you awesome ladies a few truths about this fallen world and God’s plan for each of us… I’ve struggled w/ depression too and it usually is worst when I’m U/E’d, like now…! However, it’s a battle that must be waged in our hearts and minds, but ONLY w/ the power of the Holy spirit within! He is our strength, remember King David struggled w/ similar thoughts and feelings and he cried out to the LORD our God and was delivered time and again! Our battle is w/ spirits and beings in high positions of (fallen) authority in this world of sin and death… The enemy seeks whom he my devour, but Jesus quoted Holy Scripture back to him and he finally fled… My sincere prayers go out to each and everyone of you, (please, please place your trust in the LORD, put your faith in Him, He will NEVER fail you!!!) you see I lost my birth mom when I was 4+ yrs old and she committed suicide becasue of depression, and that was back in 1964, February 22nd to be exact, I have a copy of her Death Certificate…! Never remember her being in my life, and it left an immense emotional void, but I have that piece of paper and a picture… You know what satan did…?! He came to me on the exact same day that she died, but it was my turn, he wanted me to do the same thing at the exact same age as she had done…?! NO way!!! I stared him down in the power of the Holy Spirit and told him to go straight to _ell!!! Matter-of-fact, if you haven’t discovered this truth out yet, he is the prince of the power of the air and he has (temporary) dominion over the air and he uses it to lie and try and control your lives through projections, or thoughts of ‘how bad you are,’ or whatever lies you were told growing up by those who should have known better and told you those lies… He can’t do anything without your permission though and he must flee when you stand up to him in the power of the Holy Spirit and use those Throne WORDS from the Father above on him…! He hates us because we’ve been forgiven and he hasn’t, he’s going to _ell very shortly and he wants to take as many humans as he can w/ him… IF you’re saved, (by asking Jesus into your heart and believing in Him and that He died for your sins, pray right now if you never have and ask Him in…!) so, if you’re saved, satan has no more poweer or authority in your life and you’re a Child of the King…! No, it’s not a ‘perfect answer’ to ‘life’ in the sense that you won’t have trials and tribulation here in this world still, -it’s because we still live in this wicked and evil world and other’s still sin against us, and we still sin against God and others, too, but now we have an Advocate w/ the Father above, Jesus Christ the righteous and perfect Man, who died for us and IF you’ve prayed to recieve Him, you are totally covered by the Blood, and you are NOW His forever and ever…!!! -WOW!!! Now, go and live in the TRUTH of who He is and not who you were in the flesh, that’s all past and it’s passing away everyday and you will become NEW again in the Spirit of God, refreshed and renewed, learning to live in the ‘finished work’ of Jesus Christ at Calvary…!!! Love in Christ Jesus to all, Joseph!

  • Your Name

    I love your Beyond Blue Therese and it has helped me on so many levels. You bring to us the real help that we all need. As for Susan I know how she feels recently I had my down from my bipolar and went right into the worst depression I ever had, having bad thoughts, helplessness, anger, I began isollating myself. I spend 4 days in bed with my door shut. I only came out to use the bathroom, or to get eat or drink. It was a lot of praying and remembering Beyond Blue posts that finally got me out of bed on that 5th day. I thanked the lord and Therese for everything they do for me and how lucky I am to have them. Most important I could not put my children and husband through this. My son is only 8 years old and just knows something is wrong with mommy’s brain and sometimes I am excited and sometimes I am blue. God bless him he came in and laid in bed with me and told me over and over again how much he loved me and that as well as everything else I was doing that finally got me out of that bed. My message to Susan is pray and give it up to the lord and have faith that he is always with you and to just ask for him and he will be there and if she has family ask them for help. As far as the thyroid problem go to the Dr. and get the help so that you may have some relieve and you will start to feel better I know you will
    God Bless and My Prayers are with you.

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