Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue


Christina Gombar: An Interview About Childless Women and Infertility

posted by Beyond Blue

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It’s amazing how the right topics come to me … as if delivered by the Holy Spirit (or a really networked friend, i.e. Priscilla Warner) because I have been wanting to discuss the subject of fertility and depression for some time. I know from reading the comments of many Beyond Blue readers that depression is so often a result of infertility … because of our culture’s expectations, because of people’s ignorance.
Writer Christina Gombar is willing to share her story with us, and in so doing will no doubt speak to the silent sufferers among us. She is also an accomplished writer whose commentary on women’s issues appeared in The London Review of Books, The New York Times, Working Woman, Scholastic, and the Providence Journal. She is the author of “Great Women Writers,” and has been the recipient of a New York Foundation for the Arts Fellow.
Thanks for agreeing to be interviewed, Christina!
1. In your piece for “Exhale,” a literary magazine for “intelligent people who have lost a baby, or can’t figure out how to make one in the first place,” you lay out some creation myths:

* People can go from desperately wanting a child, to “choosing” to be ?child free.
* Anyone can adopt.
* Women wind up childless because they put off marriage to establish ?careers; or were looking for Mr. Right instead of Mr. Good Enough.
* Anyone who wants a baby can get one, because this is America, ?where there is a solution to every problem.
* Pets, gardening, or spending time with other people’s children fills ?in for not having biological children of one’s own.
* People without children are not real adults, and don’t know what ?real love is.
* Infertility is a women’s issue.

I’m so glad you listed all of those, because I admit to having believed some of them. It certainly made me think. Of the seven, which do you think is most harmful to women who can’t have children?


Christina: Each is the most important to whomever the myth is misapplied. Probably the most common is women put off children for their careers. This isn’t the fifties, very few women have the option of graduating high school or college and having a man at the ready to marry, willing and able to take on her and a child. Women who go to college generally come out in debt with huge loans, so do their husbands. They can’t afford day care.
My situation isn’t reflected in any of these myths. I got married young but soon got very sick. I spent my twenties paying off my education, working too many jobs in very tough environments. I got fired from my Wall Street for being sick, yet had to have a good income and health benefits to have a child. Many people who benefit from a supportive extended family at the time they have children don’t understand that many of us don’t have those advantages.
Also, the very assumption that childlessness in a married couple equals infertility in the woman. My friend Elsa wasn’t infertile — her husband was, by vasectomy. By the time they divorced, she was 43. I think there needs to be drawn a distinction between a woman who has gynological problems that stop her from getting pregnant at 25, and situational infertility like childlessness by marriage, and then women who start families at 50. That’s not true infertility, that’s past the natural biological childbearing age.
As I blogged on the New York Times, when celebrities are showcased having babies in their forties, then fifties, society gradually sees this as normal. Mainstream consumer magazines run articles about freezing your eggs in your twenties, so you can have a baby at 45, instead of talking about retuning society and the economic system to make it easier for young women to have children at biologically natural ages.
The solution really, is not to come up with newer and more advanced fertility treatments or yet more third-world adoption options. But to make the world safe and welcoming for people who wind up without children, often for very good reasons.
Many many childless people feel bereaved — it is a situation that deserves respect, not pity or gloating.
2. In that same article you mention your friend Elsa, whose older husband didn’t want more kids. She was often pitied, her husband demonized. People said to her, daily:

• “You’re selfish.”
• “You don’t know what real love is.”
• “Your husband will leave you.”

And then you go one to say that he did leave her “because with so few counterparts in her workplace and community, her sense of private loss and public alienation corroded her marriage beyond repair.” Man, that is such a crucial message there … the absolute requirement of support. If an infertile woman wants to make her marriage work–wants to become immune, if at all possible to the toxic messages around her concerning this issue–what should she do?
Christina: I think the real question is — what can society do to normalize Elsa’s situation? An urban area is more accepting of non-nuclear families, as well as singles. I think it’s her friends, neighbors, pastor, yoga instructors (who might, for example, address the class as if everyone were a Mom — i.e. — “Moms are tired” … as if no one else had challenging life situations!) Her co-workers who preface every meeting with ceaseless chatter about their children. The women at the gym who turn their back in the middle of a conversation when one of their “Mom” friends comes in. It is truly a social status of second-class citizen.
Elsa tried to become very involved in her nieces and nephew, but sometimes the parents, her siblings, resented this.
There is no push button answer. Most books on childlessness are written NOT by people who are childless, but by psychotherapists who are mothers. We need to be able to speak for ourselves, to be heard. The Internet is a great resource lately, but these blogs weren’t around four years ago, when my friend was going through this.
3. You say that 44 percent of women in their childbearing years don’t have children, and some never will. And “while the world is rightly concerned with family issues, the constant focus on motherhood can make it easy for a childless woman to feel that she is less than a woman, that in failing to reproduce, she as failed at life.” Poignant and powerful words. I agree with you. So what can the infertile woman do to feed and nurture herself in a family-oriented world? And especially the infertile woman who suffers from depression? What have you done to sustain your sense of self?

Christina: I’d like to point out — that 44% figure — is women from 15 to 44. As we all know, those numbers can be exceeded in both directions! This figure includes women who may have a step-child, but no biological child of their own — often by their husband’s choice. Step-mothers often parent, but they don’t get the societal credit for it. I have several friends in this situation.
I can speak for what works for me, which might not necessarily work for someone else. First, I write, which is not a replacement for having a child of one’s own, but a distraction, pleasure, obsession, assertion, as well as a way to vent. I am lucky that many of my depressions have been cured by travel, a change of scene, whether a day in New York or a yoga retreat. I get out in nature, I pray and meditate.
The tough thing is, sometimes you pray and you get the answer you don’t want. You can have faith, and the thing you want can still be denied you. Once someone said to me, God has another plan for you. I’ve always had to be very flexible, so I’m O.K. with that. I went to a faith healer once, and she warned, The outcome may not be what you want.
Going to places of religious worship can be very difficult — the Catholic church has respect for the celibate childless (of course!) nuns and priests, and for families, but the message is never good for childless married adults. The message is always, if you believe, God will give you this. But it’s not always possible. I always have to explain to people that I’m not even eligible to adopt, due to health and financial circumstances. Clearly, it is God’s will for some of us to remain childless.
Some years ago, I remember being at the Catholic church at Easter, and while in previous years it had been hard not to feel left out and maligned, both by the sermon and the other congregants, I had a still moment, looking at the decorated ceiling, and I got this message from God, at first this faint tingling glimmer, then a feeling of certainty, that it was O.K. for me to be exactly as I am.
But I constantly have to remind myself of this, because the outer world isn’t telling me that. I remind myself that I have two aunts who didn’t have children, and have had full and happy lives and very enduring marriages, like my own marriage. They were always good role models growing up. I had two uncles who were priests — one, still teaching at 75, took my older sister and me off my mother’s hands to all the Disney films. The other, who sadly passed away a few years back, used to take us on swimming outings to Sherwood Island, a large state park in Connecticut. It was too much of a trip for my mother, who had younger children, work, and her own parents to take care of.
I remind myself how valued these and other childless people were and are in my life. My best teachers, bosses, colleagues, doctors, lawyers, friends — have often been childless. They have a lot more to give, and they give it freely.
I’d like to tell infertile and/or childless people to just tune out the crazyiness! A few years ago I read a story about then-57 year old, former Good Morning America host Joan Lunden, whose husband had twins by a surrogate, using the eggs from a third woman — and then another set when Lunden was 57. Lunden declared, “I want readers to know this is absolutely O.K. If they’re not her eggs, they’re not her baby.”
Well, I’m not a celebrity, I don’t have a platform like Joan Lunden, but I’d like to float the message that It’s Absolutely O.K. not to do a third world adoption, Foster Care, or a fertility treatment that seems wrong for you on a gut level. But society, and the media especially, needs to start getting the message across that adults without children are O.K. just as they are. I appreciate you giving me this platform.
4. You mention that you have read dozens of blogs as you search online for kinship regarding this issue. Could you share with my readers some of your favorites? Where are the childless hubs online?
Christina: The first I came across last spring was Nymphe: Living Childless and Child Free. The woman who authors the blog is actually childless by marriage, but feels the lack terribly. It’s a very intelligent, deep-thinking forum. Click here for a recent post that addresses some of the complicated spiritual issues of coping with grief.
Another, Coming2Terms.com, is hosted by a woman who confronted fertility issues in her twenties and spent about 15 years going through the IVF mill. She had spent a lot of time on the many fertility blogs during treatments — and found that she needed to create a safe place for people who experienced “the flip side of IVF” that the media seldom talks about.
Finally, Childless By Marriage is pretty self-explanatory! Blogs are probably starting up every day.
In the future I plan to write more for people who live without parenting due to health issues. The media just shows us the woman paralyzed from the neck down who managed to have a baby — with a huge support system, money, etc. Most chronically ill people I know are unmarried and trying to keep a roof over their heads. To become obsessed with having a baby in such a marginal life situation is just madness, but we live in a baby-mad culture right now.
All the discussions of parenthood in the CI (chronic illness) community tend to center on how to get a baby, and get those around you to take care of the baby as well as you. In one discussion blog, a woman wondered if it was wrong to have a child with all her disabilities. Another who’d done so quoted scripture to justify spanking, and spoke of monitoring her children from her bed. I was a voice crying out in the wilderness, when I suggested accepting a childless life as God’s will.
I wrote: “You can develop tunnel vision when you’re in the midst of an infertility struggle.” I want to let other people in my situation know that there’s a light at the end of that tunnel.
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  • melzoom

    Therese and Christina:
    Thank you soooooooo much. I’m typing through tears right now, so I’m keeping this short.
    The tears are not a result of grief, but instead there is an unbelievable amount of relief, catharsis, and sense of being heard…

  • http://community.beliefnet.com/doxieman122 Larry Parker

    Although the emotional side of the issue mostly affects women, it affects men as well. Those who know me on Beyond Blue know it’s been an issue I’ve struggled with most of my adult life, though I am now very much at peace with my decision not to have kids.
    I’m glad Gombar mentioned the stigma given to childless married couples in the Catholic Church. The whole stance that those who do not have children (barring physical infertility) are sinful, wrong and even evil was a powerful force that helped drive me out of the Church for good.
    (Though it’s not just a Catholic phenomenon — Beliefnet blogger Rod Dreher, who is Orthodox, is a huge believer that adults who do not have families, and indeed as many kids as possible, are selfish and basically bad people — his justification, for example, for his anti-gay stance.)
    And if those who want to bless their union and make it holy but do not desire children are no different than those “living in sin,” why should a couple who loves each other and wants to commit WANT to marry in a traditional church? No wonder so many couples simply live together or bless their unions in non-traditional ways (new-age churches, justices of the peace on the beach, etc.).

  • Cheryl

    I would have loved to have a child. My problem was not infertility. I felt it was important for my relationship to be good and happy before getting pregnant. For many reasons, that didn’t happen. I had horrendous self-esteem, which caused me to make bad choices. It was not because of my “career”, that is for sure! The only reason I stuck with my career was because I needed the money. I feared having a child by myself. It’s a grief that is always with me, but I have made my peace with it. I am in my 50’s now.

  • http://amysuenathan.com Amy Sue Nathan

    Christina, you are eloquent, as always. I hope that people *not* in this situation will read this interview. Although it speaks to the heart and soul of those who are childless for a multitude of reasons, it is the others – the outsiders – who I believe would also be deeply moved and touched and have their collective consciousness raised.

  • prefer not to say

    My childless narrative is unstable because of all the problems listed above. At work I am childless by choice because, you know, I’m so fiercely into my job. To friends, I am childless because of my complicated family of origin situation, which I would not like to duplicate. To relatives I am childless because my husband is older, because I am older, because (I try to establish this one by saying less rather than more) maybe we ARE trying and nothing is happening.
    But really I’m childless because I can’t live without a cocktail of anti-depressants that would fry a fetus in her own amniotic fluid. And because I have trouble keeping the depression at bay if I don’t sleep 8 hours a night. Can you imagine me telling someone “Well, I tend to get depressed if I don’t sleep 8 hours a night, so I can’t have kids”? I can’t imagine anyone hearing this as anything but sheer selfishness and self-defeatism on my part. In fact, imagining saying it out loud kind of makes me giggle, because it’s such a taboo thing to say.

  • Tiffany Lee Brown

    “Christina: I think the real question is — what can society do to normalize Elsa’s situation? ”
    that really hits the nail on the head, christina. (and thank you for mentioning my blog in this awesome interview.) as a culture, we need to bring this subject into the conversation. the question above is a marvelous place to start.
    i also believe we need to destigmatize not only childlessness and childfree living, but *discussing* these things in polite, everyday conversation. both parents and childless/childfree folks have given me *so* much feedback since i became vocal about all this stuff.
    our culture has gotten to the point where we can discuss depression and Prozac with far less shame and fear of being inappropriate than, say, ten or fifteen years ago. people wear pink ribbons instead of hiding the fact that they have cancer in their families. it’s time to let childlessness — not just infertility, but the whole ball of wax — out of the closet.
    religious leaders such as ministers, pastors, and priests have a special responsibility to educate themselves about this matter and then educate their flocks. in the Old Testament, it’s preferable to sleep with two women rather than go childless. we are no longer living in Old Testament times. i myself am not a Christian, but i respect the many changes in attitude offered by the New Testament. “have babies at all costs or be damned to hell” is nowhere to be seen in the Sermon on the Mount. those who claim to follow the teachings of Jesus Christ know that he advocated for love, understanding, and the Golden Rule. without fathering any children of his own, Jesus managed to be a very potent spiritual person.

  • http://www.magdalen.com Tiffany Lee Brown

    i also want to mention that i have found some of christina’s list of (so to speak) misconceptions about childlessness to be true, some of the time, for some of the people. in particular, careers really have caused women to end up in a mad biological rush in their late thirties/early forties. that’s my age group now, and it is chock full of panicked women either getting knocked up as fast as they can or accepting that they are not going to reproduce.
    also, one can indeed go from ‘desperately wanting a child, to “choosing” to be ?child free.’ it happens every day. it happened to me.

  • http://www.storiedmind.com John D

    Thank you so much for this great interview. Although I’m not childless, there are two issues that strike home to me in particular. One is seeing the extreme social pressures on childless people that make it so hard to retain a sense of self-esteem. Constantly under assault for being bad or inadequate has parallels in many other situations facing men and women. Social institutions and each individual should value every person’s inner value and soul whatever their circumstances. The second thing is a personal issue in having someone close to me break up a marriage out of refusal to have children. The consequences are terrible, especially for the woman wanting a child who is left behind.
    I wish the best to Christina as she continues to write about this.
    And thank you, Therese.

  • http://www.examiner.com/x-2108-Providence-Love-and-Marriage-Examiner Rita Watson

    Christina, this is so beautifully presented that I am commenting on this and linking to it both on my Love and Marriage site and on my website. Thank you for always giving us a perspective filled with common sense, honesty, and compassion. Happiness/ Rita

  • http://www.moretolife.co.uk TJ

    Thank you for sharing, you may find this website helpful or wish to share it with others: http://www.moretolife.co.uk providing support, information and advice to people living involuntarily childless
    Best wishes
    Tracey

  • Anonymous

    Thank you so much for this email, it truely is as if you were speaking to me as an angel from GOD! My husband and i have been married for 1 1/2 years, we are both on our second marriage and feel we have finally found the mate our creator intended us to be with. I have 4 children from my previous marriage ages 8-16 and my husband has 3 children ages 10-15. My children are the only 4 that live with on a full time basis. Shortly after we married we were able to concieve and found ourselves pregnant with twins. Unfortunatly our blessing was short lived, you see even though this was a pregnancy we both tried to concieve and desperatly wanted we lost the babies early on and we were told it was a tubular pregnancy. As you may imagine my husband Mike and i were devastated and clearly dumbfounded as i had never suffered this problem before. I am 37 years old and my husband is 34 years old, throughout the past year we have continued to try to get pregnant even using Clomid to assist us and still find ourselves month after month filled with sorrow because we aren’t getting pregnant. I have no infertility covereage and know how expensive testing and medication can be. My husband is an adopted child himself and is thankful for the blessings he has had however, we both would like to share the experience of sharing a child together and don’t know where to turn. Do you have any advice for us?
    Respectfully
    Kimberly Ranke

  • Your Name

    Raised Catholic, I grew up believeing in the sanctity of marriage and family. My husband and I tried five years before we were able to conceive. In time, with God’s grace, fertility treatment worked for us and we have two beautiful children. I recently came upon a copy of the Roman Catholic Church’s updated codes on reproduction and learned that in the eyes of the church, infertility treatment is akin to abortion. Talk about depressing! And yet the Church wants me to raise my children as good Catholics. Will someone address this?!

  • Childless Woman

    After reading the article and then comments, I am a little taken back about some of the responses. I hope I don’t offend anyone and if I do I am sorry but I think if GOD has blessed you with one, two or three children that you are biologically connected to whether it may not be your present spouse or not, be thankful. You have had an experience that many will never know in their life time.
    I am 35 years old and have never been pregnant. I didn’t delay having children for a career or any other reason and despite tests, other than fibroids, there doesn’t appear to be a major reason why I have never conceived. I also don’t have the financial resources and have a chronic illness as well (Type 2 Diabetes for 4 years now)and know that not everyone can or is allowed to adopt. I have been with my husband for over 16 years and he has 3 adult children by a former wife and friend. However, his children were never like my own and never could be. I was constantly reminded from others, the mothers, and sometimes the children about who the real parents were despite my best efforts to show them love. I feel that it’s just a sad thing that there are people willing to take children into their homes and love them as their own who are in foster care and orphanages or other type of children’s homes, but are not given the opportunity to. There are people who have open arms to love a child but no child given to hold them with. So be thankful if you have a child of your own that you can walk down the hallway at night and with opening a bedroom door, peep in at their faces, an extension of yourselves, sleeping peacefully. Or if you can hear their giggles, or look at the smiles on their faces or be given the sweetest little hugs simply because they love you when you are feeling low. When you say that you are trying to have another child by the right one this time or whatever the reason, yet you still have been fortunate enough to have a child you can call yours, you truly have no idea what it is like for someone who doesn’t. Think about this next time you look at your child and imagine if they never existed for you. BE THANKFUL.

  • MIRIAM

    HI!JUST HAD A QUESTION. I HAVE A 6 YEAR OLD SON AND HAVE WANTED ANOTHER FOR SOME TIME NOW…DOES IT WORK THE OTHER WAY AROUND TOO? CAN YOU BE DEPRESSED AND THUS NOT BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE?

  • Your Name

    When I 16, I wanted to have 10 children, like my fraternal grandmother; 9 boys, and 1 girl: named after me. When I was 17, I had a dream-a nightmare-from which I awoke, sobbing, with the realization that I would never have children. When I was 23, I miscarried; my husband’s response was: maybe it is just as well…..My heart froze. And I knew right then that our marriage was over. At 26, my marriage was over. When I was 30something, I began again to think of having children. But marriage was not part of the dream. I was still in a 60’s state of mind: I wanted/needed to be Free. (Conception never happened.) In my 40’s, I thought I might be a lesbian. (Not so. As it turned out.) In retrospect, I think I found a comfort level there; living in that circle of mostly childless women, the subject of children almost never entered a conversation. In MY 50’s, I married a, twice divorced, childless man. He had never wanted children and I…What did it matter, now! Now in my 60’s, reflecting on hopes and dreams and husbands (my second husband died a few years ago) and lovers; A believer in Destiny, I see that that my life is just as it was meant to be. And I am fine with that. Don’t let the life you were meant to live pass you by…..

  • Your Name

    In love, I still have to ask, on the subject of adoption….do you want to be a breeder, or a parent? – one is a desire for self-gratification, the other is a promise of self-sacrifice. Sorry, but if you don’t think adopting a baby, or a child of any age is good enough, maybe personal fulfillment is a little too high on your scale of importance. That is NOT what parenting is.
    My background is where contact with women who had difficulty conceiving was routine. I was surprised, frankly, that I didn’t, but after watching these women abuse themselves through self-doubt and the racquet of fertility “counseling”, my husband and I vowed that if it didn’t happen the old fashioned way, we would know that God had given us the signal that we were meant to parent by different means. To this day, we consider adoption as a way we wish to complete our family. I suffered a mid-term miscarriage of baby 3 and grieve for that child to this day. It is hard to imagine not knowing her. Someday. But I choose not to “suffer” endlessly – the suffering I knew had it’s purpose, and now it’s time has passed. That is a choice we all make.
    Do I have deep abiding empathy with women who for whatever reason cannot or choose not to have biological children? – absolutely. Do I think women who have other, accessible options and instead choose to indulge themselves in whining and “why me” are immature and silly? – unapologetically yes. If you want a baby, get one. If you want to whine, it’s your right. But please don’t act as if your need for pregnancy supercedes the needs of a child who knows no parents.
    And as a final, judgemental thought….for those women who think that their experience of infertility with spouse 2/3/4 who is their “Creators choice” – who are your living children? Satan’s spawn? – shame on you! If you harp on having married the “wrong person” you’ve just told your kids that they’re wrong for living. Don’t ever let those beautiful children know their mother is so selfish that her sex drive is more important than their very existence. Emotional abuse, plain and simple! Gross.

  • Your Name

    This article gave me a special insight on this issue,I felt really different after reading it,as if its showing me a clear way that there is more to life than to brood over ones infertility.Adoptation is one of the best ways of gratitude to God that we are thankfull however we are.attitude is all that counts in the long run!

  • Moogles-And I’m BiPolar=-)

    I definitly was taken back by this article, a few opinions, random comments and scattered thoughts….”Childless Woman” I feel you very much.And girlfriend, woman to woman I hope you get a chance to read my blog so you know your not alone. You took my breathe away and tears of comfort that another woman feels similar to what I feel on this subject.

  • Lori Lutze

    If the other options toward parenthood don’t feel right on a gut level, I agree, don’t pursue them. But, we still have a strong bias in our country against adoption. You didn’t give birth to your husband or best friend and you love them . . . I wish people could be more open minded to the many paths toward parenthood . . . giving birth is just one option.

  • Staci

    To those singing the praises of adoption. Guess what, adoption is not available for everyone either. I’m so tired of people telling me to go adopt instead of feeling sad about not having children. Not everyone CAN adopt. So few people understand the realities!
    1.) It is expensive. The average cost is between $20-30,000. Double that if you don’t want an only child. It can be more if there are problems, you have to take special time off work, fly to a country more than once etc. For those who have spent their life savings, home equity etc. trying to get pregnant, there is often little money left.
    2.) Then there are the emotional costs. I’ve watched friends fall apart after the birth mother makes a last minute decision to keep a child they were adopting. Nearly half of all adopters have had these kinds of “false starts” and the average cost $5,000. These add up. See number 1.
    2.) If you are waiting until “your fertility runs out” it can be very difficult to adopt if you are older. Many agencies and countries will not adopt to someone over 40.
    3.) It can be competitive. You have almost no chance of adopting domestically if you are over 40 and competing with younger couples. And if you are blue collar workers, middle-class, rural etc., you will be up against doctors, lawyers and other with more money and opportunities to offer a baby.
    4.) There can be other factors that impact your ability to adopt. Like medical issues. If you are single or married. If you are in a same sex relationship. Some agencies even want you to be a particular religion.
    For the record, I am adopted myself. The only adopted girl in a family of 6 children. My family is wonderful and I love them very much. People call it win-win-win. Well, it’s not that simple. It’s a situation borne out of the pain of an unwed mother. It’s a child who is taken out of it’s place in the world, in their culture, in their biological family line. It’s taken me years to unravel my identity and place in the world.
    Adoption – just one more way to make infertile women feel like failures. Please, go back and reread the article.

  • Your Name

    Thank you so much for this article! I have just Failed my final infertility treatment. OTher treatments are available but out of my reach finacialy. This would also include adoption. Adoption is very costly and my husband and both are first responders which has precluded us from the process all together. Im so glad to read what I have wanted to say to so many people! Adoption is not like going to walmart and just getting a baby or older child. Its a business. Expensive, discriminating, and closed off to much of the population. I wish people would really educate themselves before they comment.

  • Kenda

    It is NOT the special responsibility of infertiles to adopt. Fertile people are just as capable of adoption, yet they are never faulted for not choosing this option. We live in a bizarre world nowadays, where its somehow wrong to have your own child – instead, you must go get one from another country. Why? And those who don’t choose adoption are called “selfish” and even “racist”. Instead, why not ask: who are these people having babies and then putting them in orphanages? Why did they not practice birth control? Do they just not care?

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    Here I wanna some information about a Medical term that is called Tubal reversal…. A tubal reversal, also known as tubal reanastomosis, is usually performed when a woman wants to try to achieve pregnancy after undergoing a tubal ligation. In many cases, surgery for tubal reversal is successful. However, a number of factors can affect the success of the procedure. Estimates vary, but health experts approximate somewhere between 50 to 75 percent of tubal reversals are successful in reopening the fallopian tubes. However, the success rate may be much lower.

  • http://www.mybabydoc.com/ Mack

    Its really a nice and informative blog..
    I wanna some information about Tubal reversal..
    Mothers who had done Tubal Ligation to stop pregnancy can become a mother again after Tubal Reversal..
    For more info chk this
    Tubal Reversal

  • http://www.kidsfairyland.com/ clowns Miami

    Awesome pictures and interesting information and attractive post.
    Yes, the blog is very interesting and I really like.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Martha Hankins

    I have to take issue with the person who said it is selfish for someone struggling with infertility to want to give birth rather than adopt. I am 45 and childless by marriage (I married a man with no children who didn’t want any), and my husband is now deceased. His death caused me to re-evaluate my priorities in life, and a desire for the children we didn’t have has surfaced as part of my grieving process. Part of that is holding out a tiny sliver of hope that I can, before I get much older, give birth to a child that is biologically and genetically mine, as unlikely as it is. The reason? I’m from a very small family that is dying off. I’m an only child, and my mother is one of only two children. I see having a child that is genetically mine as keeping my lineage alive. Exactly how am I selfish for wanting my biological heritage kept alive, even in the face of great obstacles? As for adoption, yes, my research has shown me that it is extremely expensive and may fail. I realize it is one option that I could try to pursue, but as a previous commenter said, I also don’t feel society has issued me an obligation to do so. The manner in which I become a mother, God willing and if it is possible, is between me and God, and it is none of the rest of the world’s business.

  • http://www.slimming-products.net weight loss

    Hey!!! That’s great! Thanks! gonna pay it forward!
    Still losing desire of getting pregnant and having your own baby? Then no more anxiety because I have found a great and effectual ways that will help you to get a baby right inside your tummy in weeks!
    I like this post very very much.

  • http://AddaURLtothiscomment Andreas

    Thank you for the article.
    I’ll tell you the content of an article about Infertility to my wife.
    Cheer ….

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