Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue


Barbara: Good Enough is Great

posted by Beyond Blue

I also appreciated Beyond Blue Barbara’s comment on the same post, “12 Ways to Overcome Jealousy and Envy,” because it reminded the wisdom in the flick “Babe,” when the farmer says to the pig, “That’ll do, Pig. That’ll do.” If only I stopped at that … when I have done enough, not necessarily an exceptional job, but enough. Barbara writes:

Just a thought, but is there anyone (who isn’t driven,) who *always* does their best? From my own perspective, doing my best is never enough to assuage feelings of inadequecy or that old bugaboo of depressives: feeling that if people really knew you, they would see what a phony you are. I have had to learn to see my efforts as *good enough.* Not perfect, or even necessarily my best, but good enough for what is called for. 

Feelings of envy and jealousy come from comparing ourselves with others – knowing all our faults and foibles – and none of the person we are using as a yardstick. In that case, we will never measure up. Rather than focusing on the other person, we have to work at seeing ourselves as God sees us: as loveable, flawed children. As we become more able to do that, the need to compare ourselves with others fades. It is something I am working on myself, and is a life-long project. I may not always do my best at it, but I will strive to do it good enough.



Advertisement
Comments read comments(14)
post a comment
Dennis

posted October 28, 2008 at 9:45 am


In following the concept in the “Four Agreements”, doing your best will be different when you are different. You best may be less than perfect when you are not feeling well, over stressed, preoccupied with other events, etc. Doing your best is whatever your best is in
the moment. So for me, good enough in many situations IS my best.
Your best, even in the same circumstance, can be different depending on the situation. Accepting that, you can still know you did your best.



report abuse
 

Jeri Corbin

posted October 28, 2008 at 10:06 am


BRAVO!! I remember being in college and hearing one of my leact favored teachers say, “Not everything is worth doing well!” I thought, “She’s right!” I applied that concept to the bowling class which I’d been stressing over since I was the lowest scorer in the class. From that point on, I began to enjoy the class, my scores rose,somewhat, and I gained a new respect for that teacher!!



report abuse
 

Jodi

posted October 28, 2008 at 11:23 am


Finally something that tells us that doing our best even if it’s not THE best is exceptable. I think society as a whole is over stressed because we always think we have to have the biggest and best of everything. True contentment is being happy with good enough.



report abuse
 

Gina

posted October 28, 2008 at 12:31 pm


I’d first like to thanks to the friend who sent me this.It was like she was reading my mind. There have been occassions I have taken an extra effort and done what others would not and been left feeling it wasn’t good enough because of lack of gratitude from others. It leaves me with the feeling of “what’s the use”. Then I remember what I’ve told others. You can only fail if you don’t try. This supports that idea. I may not be the best but as long as I try I can’t fail.



report abuse
 

Judy

posted October 28, 2008 at 1:21 pm


This is what I needed to hear today….THANK YOU SO MUCH….



report abuse
 

Travis

posted October 28, 2008 at 1:27 pm


I personally ALWAYS feel this way. There is always that feeling that I should have done something different or better in order to please those around me. It’s more than just being a perfectionist, it actually totally consumes me. I am flooded with feelings of guilt, not from where I am or what I’ve accomplished but from a sence that I could have and should have done things a different way so that I could have helped more peolple along the way. I have this feeling that I am here to fix all the problems that my friends and family are struggling with. I constantly measure MY success by how much I am able to help out my family and friends along the way. From the simplist things such as consoling someone in their time of need to thoughts that I should be able to help my younger family members with cars and college. I can be in a resturant and hear or see someone who’s having a tough day and I immediately want to figure out a way to help them. It is not restricted to people that I know personally. I recently met a 81 year old woman who from what know, just needed someone to talk to about her problems at hand. Rather than talking with her and feeling good that I had been there at that time to console her, I have spent the last three weeks struggling with the thought that I should have done more. I have NO idea how to control these thoughts or even how to understand them. I constantly feel like a failure simply based on the fact that I have not helped enough people. I used to build huge and exspensive custom homes for people and their families. You have no idea how many nights I stayed awake crying that was not going to be able to give these clients whom I considered my friends their dream. I struggled with this for 15 years. Fortunately, though God and our current housing market, I am now unemployed. That’s a good thing if you ask a lot of my family but being broke leaves one with a helpless feeling and unable to find enough ways to help others. I myself have HUGE dreams for my life but I feel like I have failed not because MY list of dreams isn’t finish but more so by the fact that I have SO many people that I want to help, I’m not sure if I will be able to.



report abuse
 

Kathleen

posted October 28, 2008 at 2:29 pm


This message was needed for me today. And it’s a message I should remind myself almost daily.
Yesterday, I had my first observance by my supervisor of a lesson in my practical placement in an urban 7th grade classroom. I have always been a person whose had to fight feelings of guilt and insufficiency, and strongly dislike being assessed/graded/measured on a stick, so-to-speak. SO, I knew I had to let go of this experience, and try to enjoy it and spread my enthusiasm for the subject. It worked! But, so did my feelings of guilt and imperfection. I knew the presentation wasn’t my best, I could list very clearly faults I made, but– I did accomplish the students’ engagement and enthusiasm. SO, I have felt split like this all day.
There is a peace I feel internally, because despite all of these external threats of measurement and imperfection, I know that I am great. The problem is, I don’t want to keep this feeling inside me, I’d rather have this feeling of greatness spread to others, via my sharing my greatness. So, I’m actually fighting guilt that I haven’t shared my greatest yesterday.
Since I’m sick today with a cold, it’s also easier to tell myself that I did “good enough.” But I’ll have to remind myself of that after the cold.
I wish I could see through the lens of another culture’s perspective on greatness. Such as not to have that word or extreme. I bet there are present-day cultures with that knowingness of only being good enough. I am not talking about a religion, but an actual people who do not conceive greatness. Does anyone know of any? Just curious!



report abuse
 

Naomi

posted October 28, 2008 at 3:05 pm


I completely understand this right now, my boss made me feel so inadequate this morning and all I could say to him was “sorry”. There are times that I dont think I live up to his expectations, but all I can do is “my best”. Let God shine through me at this time and let my boss know that I am Gods child.
Thank you for your inspiration!!



report abuse
 

Dorothy

posted October 28, 2008 at 3:58 pm


Thank You. Thank You. Sometimes what you need comes in unexpected ways. Lately, I have felt less proud of who I am and more wanting of being what I am not. This simple message has given me..me back. I am a great person and that makes me great in everything I set out to do. I am a child of God. How people try to make me out to be to justified their way of thinking or living is not my fault. And, if after knowing me, someone wishes to believe that false image of me than all I can do is pray for them and myself. For the Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. And, I will not want to be nothing more than who I am.



report abuse
 

DeeGee

posted October 28, 2008 at 5:08 pm


I agree with Judy, this is exactly what I needed right this very moment! Thank you.



report abuse
 

Liz

posted October 29, 2008 at 11:06 am


Thank you. God Bless



report abuse
 

Sieed

posted October 30, 2008 at 8:23 pm


Good is Good Enough!I believe good is good enough because God is good and who he made you and I to be is good enough.Often times people like I don’t feel like what we do is good enough because of critisim.And it’s not always constructive.But like Dorothy stated The Lord is my Shepherd I shall not want.



report abuse
 

April

posted November 3, 2008 at 6:26 am


I can relate you saying, just try to be good enough. I know by far I could hardly do much better. I try to do my best but it never seems to measure up. I’m always laggng behind according to someone. Either I can’t be in all places at one time, can’t do for everyone at the same time or haven’t done the right thing for someone, somehow. At times I feel could pull my hair out. But what good could that do? All I know is all I can do is the best that ‘I’ can and that has to be ‘enough’. I enjoyed reading what you wrote. It hit home. Thank you. April Pritchett



report abuse
 

April

posted November 3, 2008 at 7:36 am


This is to Travis. I read what you wrote and I found it remarkably sad. Here you are, an extremely Good Person and you don’t give yourself any credit at all. As much as you’d like to, you can’t save the whole world. Or everyone you meet or come in contact with. Your heart is blessedly in the right place. But your set your sights way too high. You are already doing your best! I wish I was fortunate enoung to meet you. By reading your words I almost feel like I have. Have you ever thought about working in a drug rehab place or a hospital. Maybe Social works, soup kitchen or give lectures. I know my spelling’s may be off excuse me. Just your presents alone could brigten someone day and leave a lasting memory. You have a God’s gift for compassion. If this world had more people like you, there would be no war’s. Your heart is big and full, don’t let it be sad and breaking. Pray. God has blessed you rather you know it or not. He see’s you and is pleased. You should be thankful that he know’s you and how you feel. Listen and wait he will guide you in the right directions. Thank you. From everyone that you’ve touched. This is a much greater place with you in it. You are differently doing ‘Enough’. God Bless. April Pritchett



report abuse
 

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.



Previous Posts

Seven Ways to Get Over an Infatuation
“Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I” wrote US songwriter Lorenz Hart about the feeling of infatuation. It’s blissful and euphoric, as we all know. But it’s also addicting, messy and blinding. Without careful monitoring, its wild wind can rage through your life leaving you much like the

posted 12:46:43pm Feb. 19, 2014 | read full post »

When Faith Turns Neurotic
When does reciting scripture become a symptom of neurosis? Or praying the rosary an unhealthy compulsion? Not until I had the Book of Psalms practically memorized as a young girl did I learn that words and acts of faith can morph into desperate measures to control a mood disorder, that faithfulness

posted 10:37:13am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

How to Handle Negative People
One of my mom’s best pieces of advice: “Hang with the winners.” This holds true in support groups (stick with the people who have the most sobriety), in college (find the peeps with good study habits), and in your workplace (stay away from the drama queen at the water cooler). Why? Because we

posted 10:32:10am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

8 Coping Strategies for the Holidays
For people prone to depression and anxiety – i.e. human beings – the holidays invite countless possibility to get sucked into negative and catastrophic thinking. You take the basic stressed-out individual and you increase her to-do list by a third, stuff her full of refined sugar and processed f

posted 9:30:12am Nov. 21, 2013 | read full post »

Can I Say I’m a Son or Daughter of Christ and Suffer From Depression?
In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, we read: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” What if we aren’t glad, we aren’t capable of rejoicing, and even prayer is difficult? What if, instead, everything looks dark,

posted 10:56:04am Oct. 29, 2013 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.