Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue

Video: What I Learned From Ben

To view my YouTube video click here.

To read more Beyond Blue, go to, and to get to Group Beyond Blue, a support group at Beliefnet Community, click here.

  • Wendi

    Beautiful, Therese. Thanks for sharing your friend and his wisdom with us. :)

  • Frank

    Job well done, Ben. Job well done, Therese.

  • Joan W. Anderson

    Such a beautiful man, and what a lovely “last act” he was asked to perform. Just goes to show that if we’re breathing, God still needs us to spread His love.

  • Nancy

    Experiencing loss in life is very difficult. Although none of us escapes it, it’s still unnerving when it happens. Thank you for the video, Therese, and sharing your “training times” with Ben. I am sure that you cherish the jacket and the memories of Ben. His wisdom and lessons far surpassed the running path.
    Nancy L.

  • Larry Parker


  • Babs

    Ben was a real teacher. He left behind an apt pupil.

  • Nancy

    I seen your video and was very moved by the things you had to say about Ben.
    God puts people into our lives for a “reason, season and a life time”. Ben was one of those of a life time to help teach and nurture you in some of most important lessons we are suppose to learn.
    God Bless,
    Nancy aka sixlittlekitties

  • ariana

    i forgot your name (whoever made the video/passage), but I would like to add that you, as well as Ben, are an inspiration. I was glad to have come across this today because being a 22 year old, single mother to a 3 year old, premature, and very active boy I need to stretch myself a little further. My son’s father passed 5 days before Thanksgiving, 5 days before my baby’s birthday, and neither one had seen eachother for a month, or got to say goodbye. It hurts to hear my baby cry and ask for his father everyday. All I can tell him is that his “papi” is in heaven with the angels-and that’s where Ben is too. Keep going. I am.


    Dear Therese,
    I just lost a very special Ben in my life yesterday. He was my cousin and he died from pancreatic cancer. I live in a small town in Kentucky and he lived in Beverly Hills. We only met about twelve years ago. He flew here every year to our family reunion. He was born here and always went to the little schoolhouse and visited all the people he remembered as a child. He was a child himself in so many ways because he always looked at life as a new beginning every day. He taught me that no matter what happens to us, we can begin new tomorrow. He was 80 years old but you would have never have known it from his youthful attitude. We would meet in Las Vegas on vaccation and he could always outlast me walking up and down the strip. He enjoyed seeing the scenery here in Kentucky and being with all his Kentucky family and we loved his visits here.
    Your story of you Ben reminded me of my Ben because they both seem so young at heart. I just wanted to say thank you for the video. It is so inspiring. I will always love my Ben and I will miss him always. He taught me how to be truly generous .
    My heart goes out to you in your great loss.
    And my love and prayers are with Ben’s family in California.
    Sincerely, Bobbi

  • michael Gresen

    i will keep ben in your prayer’s
    and mine
    so therese that is very hard too go through ben is up by his god so he in his hands now
    i wish good luck to you therese

  • Bob Pollock

    15 years ago I lost MY Ben.
    He was my Gay lover of about 5 years & he died of AIDS at the age of 39. He was a most lovable sweet innocent young Black man from a small town in Georgia & I was born on a farm in “White” Ohio, but luckily, raised in the “Black” Virgin Islands. We met on a pool table in NYC. I had returned to college in Rhode Island & he was working in NYC.
    The picture of health when we met, he quickly went down-hill once I’d graduated and moved in with him in his Bronx Brownstone. He gave me my walking papers once the prognosis was confirmed, thinking that I would not want to be around a dying man, but there was no way I could desert him & I dedicated the next few years to his dying in comfort. He wanted to “get right” with God before he joined him so we spent some time chasing organized religions & finally found “The Spiritural Science of Mind”: a non-denominational, all accepting, spiritual movement which honors all religions. (
    At first I didn’t beleive the beautiful words they spoke at their Sunday services could really be true, but alas, his acceptance pushed mine.
    I would not have believed that someone could die as contentedly as he did. I felt like I was “in the arms of love” when he passed. His funeral was huge, as he’d touched so many with his spiritual beauty. My life is richer for having known him.

  • Rev. Paul J. Broown

    Bob, Barbara, Michael, Nancy, Therese and of course all the “Bens” in our lives… we are all sisters and brothers sharing this space and these awesome, deeply loving stories. Loving someone so completely is one of those goals I strive to help people achieve. Each of you, with your sharing have encouraged my efforts to continue to spread the “Good News.” I stand in awe of your beauty!


    We have to learn lessons everyday from everyone every time because there might not be a next time. Thank you for your lesson today. Thank you Ben, he is looking over you now.

  • Dianne

    That was a very lovely tribute, Therese. Now I realize that though I have learned from many along the way, I have never really had a “Ben”. That is my prayer for today…to have a mentor of sorts, that can understand where I am coming from, and encourage me along the way. People such as Ben are truly a treasure…thanks for sharing that with us.

  • Anonymous

    Thank you for this lovely tribute and for sharing with us these profound and simple truths.
    Peace and blessings,

  • Susan

    That was beautiful. Thank you for sharing that . You are so lucky to have Ben in your a friend and a mentor . I have been feeling very down and depressed.I am so glad I came upon this. I loved his inspiring messages. It brought me to tears. That was lovely. May God bless you , Susan

  • Cynthia

    Thank you for sharing your story. God Bless you

  • Catherine Uhly

    Just beautiful…but beyond beautiful and touching…also inspiring to pass along to those who are in need of this…Thank you – sincerely, Thank You for sharing this….it means so very much to many people who will see it here on this site, and it surely will spread to so many, many more than you will ever know…again, my sincere thanks for posting this.

  • Carol

    Therese: Thank you so much for sharing that – I sat here enthralled and identifing with you. I have worked in alcohol/drug rehab for over 25 years and always got much too involved. I got so involved my children felt they were in second place to my job. They felt that if they were addicts, I would spend more time with them. Sorry state of affairs, huh? But, I loved my work and my reward was to see people who had no self-esteem become productive, happy members of a society they had tried to escape from. I now am retired and have the opposite problem – no inter-action at all..I am in the house alone all the time. I no longer drive so am stuck – thus, my depression has worsened, but thanks to Beyond Blue – I am not alone and have SOME voice. Thank you so much for being able to share and help so many. Carol

  • Carol

    Therese: So sorry for the loss of your friend and mentor, Ben. I hope you recognize that a single person can make such a difference in someone’s life. You are our mentor (and may I say, friend), we look to you, verballizing what we all feel, but never say. There are no easy answers to life, but having someone to share it with is so important. Just remember that Jesus Christ, Himself, was only one person – and look at the difference He made!!!!! My deepest sympathy, Carol

  • Lynne

    I hate to be a stick in the mud…but I feel like I’m missing out here. Please…Please can you print out a post for us mute computer challenged? I so look forward to your words of wisdom that “I don’t want to miss a thing!” It reminded me of a former friend and mentor that I lost touch with a while ago. She gave me so much of her time ,knowledge, and unconditional support and kept me grounded when my world was trying to spin me off! Without even knowing what was said I would intuitvely guess our relationships were similar. You never really lose people like that though…they are always right there on your shoulder whenever you need them! No one dies…they just move up in the universe. (\o/)

  • Julie

    What a great testimony to Ben’s life and to his profound influence in your life. I’m sure he’s watching over you from the heavens.
    Blessed be.

  • Clayton Norris

    That was awesome…It just shows, it’s not about the money we make or the things we buy…it’s about the people along the way. Just another reason to listen to those ole timers.

  • Valerie

    Ben’s aura is yellow too! Or maybe I should say his halo is yellow. Did you hear the bell chime/clang at the end of the video? That made me tear up. It was a little tribute to Ben. Love Valerie

  • Anonymous

    It sounds to me like Ben gave to you in the same way you give to all of us; freely, genuinely and with love. Hoe blessed you were to have known Ben, and how generous of you to share his wisdom with all of us.
    this video clearly demonsrates the influence a single individual can have on anotherand that it’s often the “little things(like hidden goodies) that have the most impact. None of us knows how much we have meant to others nor who it is who is gaining the most from our associations with them. Often it’s the LAST person we would have imagined who gleans the most from our lives.

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