I was moved by Beyond Blue reader Zana’s comment on the message board of my “Video: O Holy Night” post:

This has been a tough December to get through. Marks the 1st anniversary of the day my husband left us and my spiral downwards to my first hospitalization and the steps we’ve taken on my way to recovery. I have struggled so much with my faith this year and have been so angry at God because I have wondered where and why He had gone from me.

Honestly. I stlll am not sure what He has in store and I am numb to hearing, “what doesn’t kill you make you stronger.” That song reminded of the baby Jesus and how much love his parents were feeling that morning. I didn’t have anyone to put gifts in my stocking this year so last night when I playing Santa, i suddenly was moved to write my children’s names on a pretty piece of note paper, fold it up and put in my stocking.
They are my gift. Just like Mary had a hard road ahead of her, my little family and I have been climbing over boulders in our path this year. I’ve watched my them in so much pain, but not anything near what she, Joseph and Jesus had to endure. Their son, their son!… and what he did for us! That song reminded me. We celebrate his birthday. Where his lifeleads on this earth and finally, the peace that comes afterward.
I may not be there yet, but I am beginning to let go and let God. My sister-in-law reminded me last night as she was telling me of a hardship she just endured, yet with everything she does, she prays. Even during the worst of times, she hands her life over to Him and He leads her to a peaceful heart and mind. I have been afraid to say, I have had wobbly legs like a baby trying to pull himself up to standing position, but I’m getting there, When I read how much faith you all have here it gives me hope that I’ll find my way again. Today is the day we start fresh, reborn again. Amen.