Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue


Guardian Angel Ann’s Advice to Childless Women

posted by Beyond Blue

Since I can’t totally empathize with Suzanne—having two little blessings in my life that I scream at too often—I sent her comment to my guardian angel, Ann, because I know that not being able to conceive and bear children of her own was a big source of her depression.
As always, she blew me away not only by her immediate compassion and generosity of time and effort toward a “stranger” (although Suzanne is hardly a stranger to me), but also at the wisdom that lies within this woman-angel’s heart and mind.
She gives some practical advice about Halloween night, but, more importantly, how to fill that emptiness on an every day basis if you find yourself childless.

Dear Therese and Suzanne,
I’m writing you a joint e-mail because Therese, you are empathetic toward Suzanne and me, and I do hope I can bring some joy to Suzanne, in spite of all of the suffering you, Suzanne, have endured.
I know of many couples who have no children who have fulfilling lives. Not having our own children was a nightmare until we adopted Paul in 1970. Now, would you believe, our son asked me while vacationing in Maine with his wife and child, “Is Therese taking my place?” Sibling rivalry from a thirty-seven year old man! He hasn’t met Therese, and yet he knows how much we mean to each other.
I make this point to show you, that it is possible to reach out to younger people and experience the joy of nurturing and parenting. I find you can parent without children! Therese is an integral part of our life and I do think we give Therese and Eric strength during the rough times. [my side note: THEY DO!!!!!] Dick and I have been married 42 years, which is reassuring to Eric [that’s an understatement!], who also lives with a bipolar wife.
I am 65 and thought I wanted to have five children when I was in college studying early childhood education. I have always loved children, and have befriended many to fill the gaps. I understand how hard it must be to be in a gated community on Halloween.
Here are some suggestions:
* Call a friend with young children and offer to take them trick-or-treating so that the parents can be at home for the youngsters who come to their home. You could also offer to stay at the home of a friend in the community to give out candy, and enjoy that as well.
* Call your church and the near-by schools to see if they are going to have a Halloween parade, and ask if you could come to see the children. Tell them that you are in a retirement community, and would be more than happy to help, if help is needed.
* Perhaps you and your boyfriend could dress up and deliver candy to those who live in your complex. It would bring joy to those who miss having children come to their homes.
As far as how to fill the everyday void, be creative!
Call your church, and if you don’t have one, find one! Most churches have a nursery where babies are left with responsible adults and parents while the parents attend church. You can get a great baby fix each Sunday, or now and then.
Seven years ago, I noticed a very attractive pregnant couple at church with their children, two and four years old. I asked the mother-to-be if her mother was coming when she delivered her child. She said, “Are you kidding?” I said that I would love to be with her two small children when she and her husband had to head for the hospital. We spent Christmas Eve at our house so the children would feel comfortable with us. I was called early in January, and ever since we have remained very close to the dear family of five.
The children love to come here when their mom has appointments and we are surrogate grandparents. We are surrogate Godparents to their son, whose Godparent’s don’t give him special individual attention. Their dad looks to my husband for advice in his job, and their mom and I have “girls night out” when we can. This relationship began when I was just your age. The rewards have been endless.
There are many more young people in our lives than people our age. I frequently ask various children from our church if there is a good movie around. When there is something they want to see, I take them out for lunch and to the movie. It is good for me, and good for the parents.
If you haven’t seen “Because of Winn Dixie“, rent it. I ask children if they have seen the movie, and when they say “yes”, I ask them which character reminded them of me. Without taking a breath, they quickly say, “Gloria Dump”. It is a wonderful compliment. See the movie and you will know why I feel honored to be thought of as “Gloria Dump!”
One final thought. When we hurt, I believe we have to parent ourselves, to help ourselves through the rough and painful spots. My father committed suicide when I was seven. The loss is always there and magnified when I see fathers with their seven-year-old daughters. For a long time just seeing a father with any age child hurt tremendously. Being bipolar myself, I can understand better how the disease took him. I mourn for the fact he wasn’t helped, but medicine then is not what it is now. Still, as you feel an emptiness in your womb for never having children, I feel an emptiness in my heart for the years I missed with my father.
I would rather have a boyfriend at age 59, than a baby to raise! Perhaps you will marry and become the missing link to young couples and children in your lives.
Blessings from,
Therese’s Guardian Angel Ann



Advertisement
Comments read comments(4)
post a comment
nwofor basil

posted December 18, 2007 at 4:17 am


please my three good angels help me ask GOD for miracal



report abuse
 

Karen

posted October 5, 2008 at 4:17 pm


Thanks so much for your article. It’s really really hard sometimes, to realize that my best thinking has left me childless and not in a relationship. Somehow, I didn’t expect that I would go through this nightmare, and your words were such a comfort to me.
Karen



report abuse
 

TINA

posted January 25, 2013 at 8:31 pm


I want to say thanks to love spell temple for everything so far. To everyone who doesn’t believe in spell, I was one of those ones at first. I wasn’t quite sure if I wanted to do this since I’ve tried others so-called spells casters and they did not work and was a waste of my time and money. However, when I read through the testimonials of other people at this website and after I talked to Dr okadibo who answered all my questions and was very nice about everything, I decided to give it a try. I figured it would be my last try to get my guy back. So my story is that I was at my office when the guy I am in love with told me that he wasn’t in love with me and never will be and that he didn’t want to speak or see me again, especially since he was talking to this other girl. When I talked to Dr okadibo, he let me know which spells would be most appropriate for me and I chose the ones that was to get him back to me and stay with me and want to marry me. As soon as he started on the spells, my guy came back into my life! It was a miracle to me and I’m so thankful for that. Things have been going well, and pretty much according to what Dr okadibo the spell is done. I’m still waiting for the spells to completely manifest, but with all that has happened so far I’m very happy because given only four months ago in March, if you asked me or my friends if I would have anticipated how things were right now…no one would believe it! Lara. To contact him at okadibospiritualtemple@gmail.com



report abuse
 

Mrs Hellen Adams

posted May 2, 2013 at 7:03 am


To all that are listening i want to thank the great spell caster Dr.Shekirry for a wonderful work he has done,before now i have been living in this word of tears and sorrows every day that pass this was as a result of my inability to get a child for my husband he had married me for about five years and since five years i could not get him a child,His family people was even the worst of it they advised my husband to get another wife so that he can get them a grandchild but for the fact that we love each other very much he promise that he will never leave me for another woman since we love each other very much although we were both happy but i still feel very bad for not getting pregnant for him,i have tried all the different hospital but no one could help me they where all saying the same thing that my womb have been tempered with due to surgical operation i had that affected my womb as a result of a serious accident i had long time ago when i was still 15 years old.
I have thought of many ways to get my problems solve but it seems all effort came to nothing,because off my thinking i also develop a heart problem but all this things are now things of the past due to the help of Dr.Shekirry,i came across him on one faithful day i can never forget the they i was introduce to this great spell caster by my cousin Mr Daniel living here in USA who he helped to save his marriage a long time ago i am so very happy to have him as my cousin i contacted the great spell caster and he told us not to worry that every thing will be alright he casted a wonderful spell and as i speak now the same doctor who said i can never be able to get pregnant have confirmed that i am 2 months pregnant all thanks to the spell caster Dr.Shekirry and come to think of it all my heart problem has also stop what a wonderful miracle my whole heart is full of joy its an on usual miracle so there listeners if you are looking for a help that need urgent attention beyond your power the only Spell caster i can recommend for you is Dr.Shekirry you can contact him through his email:shekirryspellcastingtemple@gmail.com or phone:+2348154053024 for fast and easy solution to all your problems.I know that after he is done with you you will also come here to testify



report abuse
 

Post a Comment

By submitting these comments, I agree to the beliefnet.com terms of service, rules of conduct and privacy policy (the "agreements"). I understand and agree that any content I post is licensed to beliefnet.com and may be used by beliefnet.com in accordance with the agreements.



Previous Posts

Seven Ways to Get Over an Infatuation
“Bewitched, bothered, and bewildered am I” wrote US songwriter Lorenz Hart about the feeling of infatuation. It’s blissful and euphoric, as we all know. But it’s also addicting, messy and blinding. Without careful monitoring, its wild wind can rage through your life leaving you much like the

posted 12:46:43pm Feb. 19, 2014 | read full post »

When Faith Turns Neurotic
When does reciting scripture become a symptom of neurosis? Or praying the rosary an unhealthy compulsion? Not until I had the Book of Psalms practically memorized as a young girl did I learn that words and acts of faith can morph into desperate measures to control a mood disorder, that faithfulness

posted 10:37:13am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

How to Handle Negative People
One of my mom’s best pieces of advice: “Hang with the winners.” This holds true in support groups (stick with the people who have the most sobriety), in college (find the peeps with good study habits), and in your workplace (stay away from the drama queen at the water cooler). Why? Because we

posted 10:32:10am Jan. 14, 2014 | read full post »

8 Coping Strategies for the Holidays
For people prone to depression and anxiety – i.e. human beings – the holidays invite countless possibility to get sucked into negative and catastrophic thinking. You take the basic stressed-out individual and you increase her to-do list by a third, stuff her full of refined sugar and processed f

posted 9:30:12am Nov. 21, 2013 | read full post »

Can I Say I’m a Son or Daughter of Christ and Suffer From Depression?
In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18, we read: “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” What if we aren’t glad, we aren’t capable of rejoicing, and even prayer is difficult? What if, instead, everything looks dark,

posted 10:56:04am Oct. 29, 2013 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.