Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue

Letting Go of Things Past

How weird is this? Just as I’m quoting Blondie about the topic of letting go, I check out her blog and she’s writing on the same subject. And very poignant and beautiful stuff. She’s got some cool graphics, too, that I don’t know how to do yet (sorry!). So go to her blog, Tales From Clark Street (by clicking here) to read the following passage with the images of the brassia plant she is describing:

This is the back bulb of my brassia dying off. Don’t worry, it’s normal. It’s all part of the process. And someday it will have blooms again. But maybe they will be even bigger this time. Because the thing about orchids is that they go into this little dormant resting period, usually in winter, and then come back with crazy growth and get BIGGER! Bigger leaves, bigger flowers, more zest.
And it had a lot of zest last time.


I’m working on my personal zest.
Since my coworkers read my blog, I have to be kinda cryptic about this, but yesterday I did something at work that I’m really proud of. (Oh Gawd, can you imagine the gossip this might stir up? What did she do?? What did she do?? By the end of the day, I will have taken over the company and made it into a carwash. Just because. You know, word of mouth.) Anyway, there comes a time in our lives when we have to take some chances. So I took a chance on something. I’ll let you know how it works out. But it was inspired by this quote, which has sat in my mind next to memories of college boys with long hair and learning about Nietzsche for the first time. In school, I wrote this quote big as can be and hung it on my wall:


The jump is so frightening
between where I am and
where I want to be . . .
because of all I may become . . .
I will close my eyes and leap!
— Maryanne Hershey

That part of me that is terrified of EVERYTHING is officially dying. And I’ve been told that once that back bulb dries up, all I have to do is give it a good twist and it will come off. I can’t WAIT!

  • Larry Parker

    When, as I said to my father recently, you can only hope under current medical science to be 85% (if that) of your pre-depression self in terms of alertness, intelligence, sociability, general physical health, etc., it’s tough NOT to look back …

  • Blondie

    Hello! Well, I did make it through being a bridesmaid this weekend without being scared, so I’m taking control! Baby steps.

  • stacey

    I enjoy reading these stories the way they are. Your humor, wit and vivid descriptions come through much better without graphics that only overwhelm our already cluttered minds. No need to be sorry you haven’t learned how to use them. God Bless

  • Micky

    About 3 years ago I dropped into a black hole – four months of absolute terror. I wanted to end my life, but somehow [Holy Spirit], I reached out to a friend who took me to hospital. I had three visits [hospital] in four months – I actually thought I was in hell. I imagine I was going through some sort of metamorphosis [mental, physical & spiritual]. I had been seeing a therapist [1994] on a regular basis, up until this point in time. I actually thought I would be locked away – but the hospital staff was very supportive [I had no control over my process]. I was released from hospital 16th September 2004, but my fear, pain & shame had only subsided a little. I remember this particular morning waking up [home] & my process would start up again [fear, pain, & shame]. No one could help me, not even my therapist [I was terrified]. I asked Jesus Christ to have mercy on me & forgive me my sins. Slowly, all my fear has dissipated & I believe Jesus delivered me from my “psychological prison.” I am a practicing Catholic & the Holy Spirit is my friend & strength; every day since then has been a joy & blessing. I deserve to go to hell for the life I have led, but Jesus through His sacrifice on the cross, delivered me from my inequities. John 3: 8, John 15: 26, are verses I can relate to, organically. He’s a real person who is with me all the time. I have so much joy & peace in my life, today, after a childhood spent in orphanages . God LOVES me so much. Fear, pain, & shame, are no longer my constant companions. I just wanted to share my experience with you [Luke 8: 16 – 17].

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