Beyond Blue

Beyond Blue


Six Strategies to Calm Yourself Down

posted by Beyond Blue

Here are some physical strategies Aron mentions if you find yourself overaroused and about to have a meltdown (like I did in Toys-R-Us). She offers psychological methods, too, but I’ve found it more helpful to start with these physical suggestions. (Then again, that’s coming from a person who has difficulty meditating if she’s not burning calories.) The commentary is mine. (I got sick of the brackets, so I thought I’d just fly with my own descriptions of each suggestion.)

1. Get out of the situation!

For example, leave your kids with your husband and walk out of Toys-R-Us before you throw Elmo and his whistling buddies across the store. Or if a conversation about global warming, consumerism, or the trash crisis in the US is overwhelming you, simply walk away from it. My great aunt, Gigi, mastered this point. She knew her triggers, and if a conversation or setting was anywhere near her trigger point, she simply put one foot in front of another, and went bye-bye.

2. Close your eyes to shut out some of the stimulation.

Ever since my mom came down with a neurological tick of the eyelid called blepharospasm, I’ve become aware of how important shutting our eyes is to the nervous system. Her only option to keep her eyes open was to have an operation that would do just that…but then she wouldn’t be able to shut them, and that would be even more detrimental to her well-being and ability to function. My mom’s disorder is very much like an extreme arousal of the nervous system, and she often has to retreat somewhere to close her eyes. Only then can she retain her balance and her proper focus.

The only time I recommend not using this technique is on the road (if you’re driving). (My mom and I argue about that all the time.)

3. Take frequent breaks.

This can be challenging if you are at work, or at home with kids as creative and energetic as mine (I can’t pee without someone getting whacked in my absence). But HSPs need breaks to let the nervous system regenerate.

I must have known I was a HSP back in college, because three out of my four years, I opted for a tiny single room (a nun’s closet, quite literally), rather than going in on a killer room if I roomed with three other people.

“Nope,” I said to my prospective roomies. “Can’t do it. Need my alone time, or else none of you would want to be around me. Trust me.”

I would go to the extent of pasting black cardboard on my window, so that no one could tell if I was there, and I’d get my hours of solitude that I needed (of course I was also depressed).

Be creative. Take your break. Any way you can. Even it involves black construction paper.

4. Go outdoors.

This is a true saver for me. I need to be outside for at least an hour every day to get my sanity fix. Granted, I’m extremely lucky to be able to do so as a stay-at-home mom. But I think I would somehow shove it into my schedule even if I had to commute into DC everyday. Or maybe I would quit my DC job, because the commute was making me into a monster.

Even if I’m not walking or running or biking or swimming, being outside calms me in a way that the right pharmaceuticals do. With an hour with nature, I go from being a very bossy, opinionated, angry, cynical, uptight person into a bossy, opinionated, cynical relaxed person. And that makes the difference between having friends and a husband to have dinner with and a world that tells me to go eat a frozen dinner by myself because they don’t want to catch whatever grumpy bug I have.

5. Use water to take the stress away.

While watching Disney’s “Pocahantas” the other day with Katherine, I realized I must be part Native American. The sheer joy that Indian woman of healthy proportions (thank you, Disney, for not releasing another animated anorexic princess) shows upon paddling down the river, singing about how she is one with the water, makes me realize how universal the mood effect of water is, and especially to a HSP.

On the rainy or snowy days that I can’t walk the double jogger over to Spa Creek or Back Creek, I do something the global-warming guys say not to, and take a long shower, imagining that I am in the middle of a beautiful Hawaii rain forest. I’ve always needed to chill out on the side of a lake, pond, creek, or bay–even the dirty St. Joseph’s river in South Bend, Indiana, or Caesar Creek State Park (the closest thing to nature) near Dayton, Ohio.

“Water helps in many ways,” writes Aron. “When overaroused, keep drinking it–a big glass of it once an hour. Walk beside some water, look at it, listen to it. Get into some if you can, for a bath or a swim. Hot tubs and hot springs are popular for good reasons.”

6. Take a walk and calm your breathing.

A method that combines both of those things is walking meditation, a form of mindfulness meditation that involves focusing on the details of your movement and breath at the same time. Sayadaw U. Silananda, the Buddhist monk and scholar, compares the practice of mindfulness meditation to boiling water in his article “The Benefits of Walking Meditation“:

If one wants to boil water, one puts the water in a kettle, puts the kettle on a stove, and then turns the heat on. But if the heat is turned off, even for an instant, the water will not boil, even though the heat is turned on again later. If one continues to turn the heat on and off again, the water will never boil. In the same way, if there are gaps between the moments of mindfulness, one cannot gain momentum, and so one cannot attain concentration. That is why yogis at our retreats are instructed to practice mindfulness all the time that they are awake, from the moment they wake up in the morning until they fall asleep at night. Consequently, walking meditation is integral to the continuous development of mindfulness.



  • Tarsha

    Yeah this stuff sounds like it works– I do some of them now..It does help. Good article. My cousin was asking me about why I would not chose Obama…she badgered me told me this is why the family can’t get along with me, why would I not go for a black canidate. I calmy closed my eyes let it all bounce off of me. I continue my stance. she cursed me..could not see my reason, I kept calmy telling her that I loved her and politics will not control my feelings or contribute any more to arguing my point or making others happy. When she could not calm down, I promptly excused myself kindly from the conversation. She calls back later to apologize, told me how she always wanted to be just like me..And she was watching a “Spike Lee” movie about 3 little girls while drinking, and she got carried away. She thanked me for dealing with her like that and said she admired how I do not let others get to me the way they use to. I told her..I’m learning and it’s all love.

  • Anonymous

    GOOD STUFF

  • Chana

    Walking works the best for me – also cleaning! Cleaning is like a form of meditation for me demanding concentration and mindfulness.
    My autistic daughter is going through some really difficult times right now with eczema outbreaks which seriously abort her usual joy in life.
    Not only do I have to find creative ways to deal with her behaviors I am challenged to find “that place” to go to for myself.
    Getting respite care and going to a movie with friends helps a lot.
    Meditation.
    Taking her to the beach, (we live 20 miles away from a great beach), putting her in her wheelchair, (when she in concentrating on the pain and itch on her skin she does not like to walk), and strolling up and down the long strand of sidewalk by the ocean, with stops to rest and read helps both of us and I maintain my sanity.

  • JOSEPH DIGGS SR

    This (6) ways to calm yourself relates to women however we men experience problem too. I like some of the ideas especially when you seek time alone,like sitting quietly alone it works for me,thanks for sharing.

  • Deborah

    I love these! I practice some of these now, especially the one concerning water. I am going to practice the others and see how I diffuse that much more. Thanks a bunch.

  • Beausiful

    These days…overwhelmingness is a moment-to-moment, thing. There’s my marriage-or should I say, lack of one; Then- there’s the issue, of not
    having a job; there is a major issue of my children…who are dogs, by the way: Pete & Gracie. They once were they were my everything. My husband has a bond, (or lack of 1), w/them. They no longer communicate with me. I do it all,
    for my children. Take them to the vets, nuture them, feed & water, change Pete’s pee-paper. Yes, he knows to go to the door. I told you he’s stuck on stupid. Therefore, I place paper over my plasticed, hard-wood floor). It keeps him, from lefting his leg, on my furniture. Try to keep Gracie (older child), well-behaved. She’s my prodigy child. She shakes 3 feet. Yes, 3. Then there’s total frustration w/ Pete. He’s just stuck on stupid.
    They are my children and my life. It is so very overwhelming, to work so hard, at something, and then have the result be disappointment.
    It’s only out of love that I keep trying, w/ my children. It is also so I can say that I truly tried for 16 years…and be who/what I say that I am. My father always told me: “I raised you not to be a quitter.”
    So, I keep those words in my brain and go to it.
    The thing and I know that it sounds strange, to you, but the thing that brings me the most peace &
    happiness…is when I get creative. I love to paint those imitation black velvet backround paintings. When they are finished, Which can take months, I just give them away. So, seeing the final product, gives me great pleasure and happiness!

  • Makuwa Chiwisha- Zambia

    Thank your for an informative and educative article. One person who has been practicing some of the aforementioned strategies in my life most especially when I am faced with hostile challenges. I have always triumphed psychologically. We all have the capacity and potential to get over the many hostile challenges and antagonistic situations in this life. Acting on impulse does not help.
    Besides it is very important in life to seek time alone for psychological preparedness and refreshment. This enables me to handle issues of life with maturity and the inner strength
    The knowledge that I have gained today is an addition of what I have come to learn through instinct.
    Thank you once again and I will be looking forward receiving the next article.

  • angela

    What is a HSP? It is mentioned several times in this article with no explanation as to what it is

  • Bobbi

    To the person wondering about “HSP”….HSP is an acronym to reference Highly Sensistive People. There are several books out on this type of personality.

  • h.g.

    Thanks for great suggestions. I find that a stressful demanding job that takes everything out of me sometimes has taken its toll on me. Your suggestions are great. At work, I find that retreating to my classroom, locking the door, and listening to music or watching videos for 30 minutes relaxes me.
    I want to suggest a couple more things to the ladies;
    having lunch with a friend, painting your nails, (even its clear polish). giving yourself a facial, and the ultimate luxury going for a pedicure. My favorite is a mother and daughter day, when I take my only daughter out for a manicure, go to the mall and have lunch. It sounds superficial but when you do something all day for others, then come home and care for your family, it’s your turn. Doing something for YOU, whatever it is, is what helps you enjoy sometime for yourself. After all, you deserve it.

  • Makuwa Chiwisha- Zambia

    Life without God is meaningless. Because He is the source of strength and wisdom in calamitous situations. We may seek time alone but in order to accord ourselves quality time we need the presence of God to guide us through our harder situations and meditations.
    In whatever we do let us involve God and we shall be very successful in life.The devil is indeed the worst failure. Glory and honour should first go to God for giving us happiness and victory over our daily obstacles. Man has inadequacies and imperfections. Therefore we need God to meet the difference in strength and wisdom in our struggle for a stable life.

  • Barbara

    A thoroughly enjoyable article. Funny with a serious undertow and totally entertaining. Thank you!

  • jerina

    I need a strength from Jesus Christ .. My willpower is hurt within my soul.. Need to let everything go exceed my kids ..The man that i think love me use my love for fun…..

  • Kathy

    I too have Jesus. Although I still seem to keep falling deeper and deeper in my self-loathing. One day I will find me again. Thank you for the stress tips…….

  • Nelly

    After reading your article I feel that I, again belong to the human race. I’m not that different and my case is not so hopeless. Thank you for sharing and for those wonderful remainders.

  • Anonymous

    TO ME SPENDING TIME IN THE PRESENCE OF GOD IS MY B-E-S-T “GET-AWAY”! HE IS MY STRONG TOWER, MY STRENGTH…MY J-O-Y…HE IS EVERYTHING TO ME!!!
    WHEN SOMETHING IS BOTHERING ME…I F-I-N-D TIME TO “ESCAPE” WITH HIM…SOMETIMES, WHEN I AM AROUND
    PEOPLE AND CAN’T PRAY ALOUD…I PRAY IN MY HEART…HE IS A-L-W-A-Y-SFAITHFUL TO BE MY STRENGTH!!!

  • Billy Wagley

    I really enjoyed the discussion on how to cope with stress and using techniques to solve the issues. We all have stress, it is a thing that is fact in the world and we must in order to survive deal with it in a positive manor. I have found that (even tho I have been on the other side of the coin) that if I listen to the argument of others rather it be my kids (I have 3) grown ones, Grandchildren (I have 5) or someone out of your family circle, the conversation mostly onesided to a point just listen then deal with the issue quietly. Raising voices and calling names doesn’t resolve anything.
    I am bi-sexual and believe me sorting things out can be a trial but God in his mercy sees me thru it and to focus on prayer and meditation are a must for me. I try my best to pray for Protection of all I know from the evil one. Meditation by the Ocean is so wonderful or just being outside for awhile with God’s nature is so relaxing and inspiring and also if you are blessed with creative expressions of any kind do it, It is better than Ativan, even tho I rely on that to. I have been HIV positive over 10years now and if you want the medicine to work, one must practice knowing triggers that start stress and those things which help calm the stress. Take a coarse in stress management, it gives you tools to work with. Try a counselor, mine is wonderful. Try a heart felt movie like “Brokeback Mountian” if you don’t cry from inside your soul at certian parts, well you might want to examine yourself alittle deeper. Every time I watch it, certian things trigger this healing crying which certianly releaves tension that sometimes is hidden within myself. These things have worked for me and believe me when you lose a child all things should be considered, because it never just goes away. Look for yourself, there is something in your life which you can do. These are some that have worked for me. Everyone that I read their comments connected to something. We all can if we try.

  • barb

    praying the Prayer of Jebez each morning and doing a bit of meditating are, for me, calming and give me strength for whatever the day may bring. We all have the right to ask God for what we need – he has given us this right to seek the best for ourselves.

  • Anonymous

    WONDERFUL ATRICLE>>CAME AT A TIME WHEN I NEEDED SOME SUPPORT. RECENTLY LOST MY BELOVED HUSBAND OF MANY YEARS AND HAVE SO MANY LONESOME MOMENTS. AM FINDING COMFORT IN DAILY PRAYERS AND MEDITATION. MANY THANKS FOR YOUR SUGGESTIONS. MIMI

  • lisa

    I hear you loud and clear…I am having so much “stress” in my life right now, mainly grown Dtr. with a lot of issues, etc.. I guess I could go on and on!! My problem is this–I KNOW what is good and helpful for me, but I do not apply it in my life! I do know that I deserve anything that will help me back to sanity, like taking a short walk, or reading a book, some of these are so simple..I just cannot focus, or concentrate..I am seeing a therapist, and, yes I do take meds, to help my nerves, but I have lost all of the JOY out of my life! Anything anyone can help me with?
    I am tired of feeling like this–Lisa–Thanks!!

  • Melodi

    These tips are great!, but even though most adults know how to ” get away “, we seem to think we don’t have enough time to do just that. I’m a mother of three and I work full time. I understand the everyday stresses that others go through. I spent the weekend on the couch because…. well I don’t know, you see even though my children are ” Mo tri Aingeals ” I just have to give in and say ” No more ” and just make myself lay and rest. People, please take the time for yourself, because if you don’t take care of you, noone else will.

  • Becky Vaughan

    This is to Lisa. Hi my name is Becky and I am 45 years old. I had been having alot of problems emotional, thoughts of dying, very anxious, fatigue, etc. Anyways, I went to therapy, drs., nerve medication (Zoloft), but what has really helped me is Hormone Therapy. I had a hysterectomy at a young age and didn’t think I would go throught menopause, but I am. I had my hormone levels checked and they were very low. I tried several different HRT’s, but the one that worked for me was the Hormone Implants. Check it out on the computer. Hope this helps and God Bless! Becky

  • Eliz

    To respond to an earlier post: quite to the contrary, “Life without God” isn’t “meaningless” at all for many good, upstanding and moral people. How could someone make such a pronouncement about another’s life? I feel no need to have such a belief, yet am a spiritual person, care deeply about other people’s feelings, empathize with them and spend much time taking care of animals, and human charitable organizations. I feel “something” comes after this life, but not just what it is. I believe we are born to make our own way in this world, so we are fully responsible for the ills we do, as well as our own happinesses and sadnesses. Turning it all over to “god” is sometimes not owning up to what we ourselves have wrought… possible?
    Taking an extra deep breath, and a good look at where we are..the particular situation, conversation, exact moment stressing us and pondering the very next word about to emerge from our mouths is a very good way to “calm down”…rethink the further antagonizing of an already heated situation. WiTH the codicil…that there will always be certain situations where there is nothing to do but take that stand, no matter how uncomfortable some other people might get. And those issues involve the genuine rights and wrongs of the world: bigotry, prejudice, perpetuation of lies. We can’t be so caught up in being polite women, where we value remaining calm and placing nicety over issues of real import, even if it makes us and some of those around us uncomfortable. There is a time for even the most ladylike of women to say “No”, which always brings to mind Rosa Parks refusing to move to the back of the bus.

  • josephoh2222@sbcglobal

    BEEN TO: MASS—–COFFEE—WALKING——YARD WORK—-TALKING TO FRIENDS———-THEY ARE SPACE WALKING—– IT IS GREAT!!!!!!!!! LIVING LIFE——–JO’H———-BOGIE

  • Carol Kessler

    I absolutely loved this article and others by the same author however, I’m rather new to Belief Net and I have no idea what a “HSP” is or stands for. Can someone help me out and let us know what it is? Thanks much.

  • Suzanne O. Allison

    On the Tital Six Strategies to Calm Yourself Down I will try the six techniques, to see if they will work for me! I read all of them. They were great tips, Thanks for letting me read them.

  • Ellyn

    How I appreciate Therese! Nice to know that there are others like me.

  • Anonymous

    It’s nice to know that there are others who are like myself!! I had never heard of HSP before, but your article was fantastic!!!! thank you for the tips.

  • Rita

    wow…I am sane!!! Thank you for your suggestions. I sometimes don’t know what to do….I will try your ideas.

  • Tina Parish

    I enjoyed your advice about calming yourself. I found myself overwhemled with things I thought I “needed” to do. Then I found a way of thinking of each task I saw as either I am doing this because I enjoy it (which is good) or I am doing this to impress other people to see when they come to my home. If it is the latter, I just keep saying that it is not as important. And I have found myself with much more free time and I am much more relaxed and happy in life too.

  • Allen

    To Angela:HSP= Highly Senitive People

  • SuzanneWA

    You’ve gone and done it again, Therese! Common sense rules for un-stressing, some of which I am already familiar(who DOESN’T like the sound of running water??!! My “alone time” (which is nearly ALL the time) IS spent with God. I constantly listen to the “still, small voice” which has never let me down.
    To Tarsha – “politics and religion” are stressors; that’s why we’re taught NOT to discuss them in society. Although I used to be a political fanatic, I ONLY talked my politics with others who believed as I did. Calm down on the “Obama” thing…
    Beausiful – Soooo glad you have “children!” I have two cats, who do their best to keep me grounded…there’s nothing like a dog for companionship and unconditional love (I’m basically a “dog person,” but can’t have one in my condo); I’m reminded of the old saying, “I hope one day to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am!”
    Keep up the good work, Therese; am looking forward to some of those “psychological unstressors!”

  • princess anita

    linda i thought this will help.to be strong keep eys on the price yes to morrow there is meeting at 211 w.fairbank betweenpark ave and… at 7 p.m i left messagws in ur phone too. call me later for direction to my place its just near where i met u.on colonial and lake dot just adjacent to salvation army chappel. have good evening call me as early as possible if u want call me in the morning.o.k.see u lot of lord’s blessing love wraped with strength. bye now princess

  • Jeannie

    This is my first time reading this article, but I feel compelled to reply just to say thank you. I lost my mother March 22, 2007, only 3 days before my b-day. I thought I would have no other reason to live because I’m also fighting a custody battle for my 3 boys. I say that to say that by pure experience I can honestly stand and declare and His Word tells us so….”I can do ALL things through Jesus Christ who strengthens me”…Phillipians 4:13, also Psalms 91 is essential to keeping strength to face life’s daily trials & tribulations. The 6 steps I just read also gave me alot of extra insight, especially closing the eyes, & a good hot bath has never made anyone complain that I know of….Thanks again.

  • Karen Mannix

    To the reader above, HSP stands for Highly Sensitive Person. Aron wrote a book on it. Also, look for books on Sensory Integration Disorder, or the new term…Sensory Processing Disorder. Many people are mis-diagnosed with other disorders,(ADD, anxiety, etc…) when they really have sensory issues that are caused by a nervous system that struggles to process incoming stimulation. I have a daughter that has this and working with an Occupational therapist taught her how to cope with it in a constructive manner!

  • Robin

    I totally agree with the healing magic of nature, and what the mother earth can do for us. I’ve just returned from a 3-day, Native American vision quest, which involves spending 3 days out in nature by yourself praying and fasting. So therapudic, so much garbage cleaned out of myself, I feel like I have a new lease on life! Thank you, Creator!

  • Beth

    I have tried ladies (and gents) all the meditation, prayer, yet I struggle with anxiety and depression that can get very bad at times. Being totally alone in world except my son 18 and daughter 15 – well, I suppose they ground me to keep moving my feet no matter how slow – if you get my drift. I have a social phobia too…it is the anticipation of the event or being around the public – yet I am fine when I get there and do start socializing – am I nuts?After a grueling divorce that lasted forever, hiding his drinking for 4 years, taking care of my mom being terminally ill for 2 years – well it is amazing how you find out how many “friends” – real friends, were not really your friends – I feel like a growing cancer. I will not let go – as I am all my children have – yet my daughter is so self-centered I can’t stand it, my son well I couldn’t go on without him – the three of us…have been through H*** these last 4 years – and the problems keep coming from financial to yes keeping my daughter reigned in so to speak. I am on more meds than I care to share…and would give anything NOT to depend on them – any help out there? I am on disability…so any creative ideas to make money providing a service to the population would be helpful. I have even tried to communicate to the townehome complex I live in that I would take in laundry, ironing, and bought a commercial steamer…what a waste…God Bless To All.

  • Anonymous

    How do you “get out of the situation” if you have to be around in -laws that talk about the same stuff (sometimes negative) whenever you go around them. I’d rather stay home and send the kids with my spouse! However, I know this isn’t the Christian way of doing things (you must be around some of every type of personality in order to get along with or at least witness to people). PLEASE HELP!! Sometimes I think they purposefully let things “roll off the tongue” to provoke me into saying something ot either try to make me feel bad. I always try to stay as positive as I can me in my mind while I’m around them but it does get next to me sometimes.
    Anonymous

  • Sherry

    Gosh, I love this website. There is always something uplifting and wonderful people on here. I’m one of those people who tries to avoid “toxic” people – those who are constantly finding the negative in ANY situation. I either close off myself from the person (as I often do at work) or simply lose touch with them. I choose to be happy. The Lord is my guide. Yes, things get stressful sometimes but it’s uncanny how, just when you think a situation has hit rock bottom, a glimmer of light shines through.
    I have a 3 ring binder with positive articles from women’s magazines or from this website. They aren’t organized,simply placed inside for those moments when things just don’t seem right.
    I also take an inventory everyday of my “grateful moments” of the day. We are all so blessed…Please realize that…No matter how hard things are, every challenge you undertake makes you the unique and beautiful person you are today.

  • NORAH

    please solution aims to only married ladies but also girls who are not married face the same problem help give us asolution

  • Sharon

    In response to BETH:
    Beth! I also had terrible depression, anxiety and social phobia. I did not take meds but am learning to control these problems through diet and exercise and attitude. Altho you are disabled, you can do it! Learning to control these things takes committment, it won’t change overnight. I keep a daily journal. I take negative thoughts and turn them into positives. I read everything I possible could get a hold of and learned to open up to all kinds of people… professionals and ‘friends’ and eventually was able to sort out the most genuine and stick with them.
    Your children are worth it…your 15 year old will come around. She needs to go through her angst, too. Work on yourself and your kids will feel better, too. First start reading extensively and then start getting rid of the negativity. Everything will follow from that. Finding a good therapist is a plus! And remember, changes that will stick don’t happen overnight.
    Be good to yourself and best of luck!

  • Sharon

    This message is to ROBIN:
    I’d like more information on your Native American Vision Quest…how cool! How does one get invited/involved in that kind of thing?

  • Jason

    Everyday I get email from this website and I think the subjects they write about are great. The subjects they write about are relevant to a variety of everday feelings. People that can’t talk openly about their feelings can read something like this and know their is someone out there that understands what their going through. keep up the great work. Touch on some more interesting subjects.

  • Jason

    I think the subjects they write about are great. Beliefnet tackles everyday problems of the common person. Their are alway people out there that can’t speak openly are their emotions and need to read something like this to feel like someone understands what they are going through. Keep up the work and touch on some more interesting subjects that common person relate too.

  • Makuwa Chiwisha – Zambia

    We should all appreciate our uniqueness. God gave us dominion over all things including all different situations and problems which usually befall us and our emotion in this crooked world. Besides temptations come from different and unexpected angles and the devil is capable of using anything under the sun to destablise us. But all things under the sun have been put under our control by The Creator. On this score God has adequately equipped us with sufficient capacity of resistance to any form of temptations and violence. We don’t have to blame anyone for any downfall in this life. We are stewards of God’s creation and that starts from my body and your body,we shouldn’t let other things gain mastery over us. Therefore it’s very vital to maintain stillness of mind as opposed to overreacting wrongly. The many problems that have befallen this world have been orchestrated by Earth dwellers. We have allowed greed, anger, envy, poverty, violence and all forms corruption to rule us. “LET US BE QUICK TO THINK AND ACT POSITIVELY IN THE FACE OF ADVERSITY AND THEN NEGATIVE FEELINGS AND REACTIONS WILL BE DETERRED TO THE HILT.”

  • Rosalinda Larkin

    This has been an inspirational site for me, I am grateful for all the resources and information that this site provided.At this moment I am trying to redeem my inner peace, inner power and to become a better version of myself. The information that I acquired from is very helpful.
    Thank you so much!
    Linda

  • Gina

    I’ve discovered some of these on my own. I first heard the term “highly sensitive person” a few years ago and it finally defined what I’ve experienced all my life. I remember even as a child over-reacting at the slightest strain or stress around me and not being able to filter out other people’s emotions very easily.
    I find time with my pets to be a source of stress relief too, although I’d have to say that unless you’re a true pet lover, caring for animals might be an added source of stress for a person.
    I get frequent massages of various kinds as a way of gaining stress relief. I had to teach my husband to do it, though, because being touched too much by relative strangers can make me even more tense. This has become something we do for each other.
    I’ve learned to avoid arguments about politics, religion, and social issues, too. Usually, people want what’s best for everyone…they just argue about how to get it accomplished. When you think of it that way, it seems pointless to argue about such things.
    But, I pray, practice relaxation exercises I learned from a psychologist, eat nutritiously and get enough exercise. All great for handling stress.
    I just moved to a new house which was a very stressful move for us, and money has been tight too.
    It’s good to refresh ourselves as to what a HSP needs to come through stressful times like this with sanity more or less intact. Thanks.

  • Linda M Bemis

    I am still learning, sharing and living in the moment. We get ideas that work and I am grateful to everyone here. You can give yourself the confidence and think about the situation when thought is needed. A little positive thinking will work in your favor. I am glad to be a part of this web sight. Thank you

  • Sherry Roberts

    Re-framing a mind picture of great joy brings a refreshing smile and release to my very pain filled life at this time. The mind picture of the face of my granddaughter sleeping, a “pile of playful puppies” all on top of their “big dog” mom, soaring eagle -wings outspread, riding the wind. It is the thoughts we treasure that will see you through the “step back, take a breath and don’t speak until you can think clearly” times. I have survived 64 years doing …not very well sometimes but better as I practice what works for me. Thanks for sharing.

  • Marlene

    To Beth:
    It certainly sounds like you and your children have had a hard time of it in the last couple of years with your disability, finances, divorce and caring for a terminally ill parent.
    I can identify with you on all but the divorce issue. My husband and I both have health problems we live with over the past few years. We both were our mothers caretakers for several years before they died also. I experienced deep loss when my mother died. I began seeing a wonderful therapist for a time and that was a great help. We have also been through many times in our marriage with some heavy financial problems when I couldn’t work. Our children are both grown now so it’s just the two of us.
    The things that has helped us keep it all together is our faith and being connected always to a church family. We have been very fortunate to be united with a couple of great Ministers and congregations who have and are very supportive to our family. Hope you can find some help too.

  • Tom TERRIFIC

    This website, and the accompanying comments, are wonderful. The irony is that sometimes I even feel overwhelmed to see so much unread material in my mailbox, and THAT stresses me out. I have been dealing with HSP (I like that term!) all of my life, and tried at an early age to just “tough it out”. Consequently, I was seen as cruel, mean, competitive, and truly felt beyond crappy about it. In the last 20 years or so, I discovered massage therapy and yoga, and giving and getting these has transformed my spirituality. Certainly, the learning process is endless, but as I near 50, I realize too that each day, each moment in fact, is a chance to grow. I feel more content now that I have made many positive choices, such as relocating to West Virginia, living a much simpler life style, having creative and wonderful support systems and friends, and imposing “balance”, which to me means proper exercise, sleep, food, stimulation, and the like. It is not at all easy, and sometimes is not fun, yet the alternative was a slow or rapid death to life, so it has been, and continues to be, worth it. Thanks for the suggestions, and the time to sound off. Namaste to all! Tom TERRIFIC

  • Mike

    Balance and moderation in all things works for me.
    These are a few things that work for my personality. Running 6 times per week, light weights, Centering prayer, volunteering in food pantry and local county prison [prayer together]. Getting outside in nature and outside of myself. Be concerned for others’ needs and listen. Try a week or long weekend at a monastery,Gethsemane is unique, and also remember we are each special and our gift is needed for the health of our community.
    Therese, keep up the good work but most of all take care of yourself.
    Praying for you,
    Mike

  • Eleni

    Please tell me, what does HSP stand for. New to site

  • Melissa

    Thank You.

  • Mary Chavez

    I had a melt down last weekend. I saw my stepdaughter becoming self destrucive after a suicide attempt I felt I could no longer hold in all my fustration and emotion that I had bottled up from the previous week. Although my behavior may have been over the top, It reall felt good when I was done and the end result was good. Sometimes a meltdown is good.

  • Meesalynn

    I never considered myself an HSP, never heard of it until an hour ago. But a few years ago I had some brain surgeries that changed my personality alot.I dont deal with noise, confusion, chaos, etc… as well as before. Before I thrived on it. The surgeries left me with a seizure disorder, depression problems, weight problems, etc… Seven years ago I remarried when I never thought I would again, he had 3 and I had 2 children. His youngest child now 14 is about to drive us to the brink of insanity and its not like it would be much of a leap for me. I am at the point of feeling so tired and hopeless,I stay in my room most of the time for the sake of his safety and my sanity. Lord help me I feel so awful for feeling this way about my child. Ive always pulled mself up before, somehow I dont know if I have the strength this time. Meesa

  • TinaMarie

    Wow… Stumbled across the 6 tips tonight after a fierce argument with my bf of 6 years and they really helped me center and let it go. The tips are helpful but scrolling through all the comments was what really lifted me! I read about all the trials and tribulations each one of you share and your inspirational stories of success over them and I have to smile. Then, I read a comment from someone deep in the darkness who still has the heart and “soul-shine” to reach out to another just proves to me that God is everywhere and in everyone, just reach inside and let Him show. I read notes from a few others that are dealing with the same stresses that I do, or have conquered in past years. Jeanne, I have walked part of your current path, fighting for my 4 children for 11 years. All I can tell you is don’t ever let go and love and protect those boys with everything the dreaded “system” will allow you to. This too shall pass, and sad as it seems they do grow up. But they will be adults who make their own decisions for many more years then they will be children. Give them your love and they will understand! My kids are now 21, 20, 18, and 15. They are the best of my friends and our time together is some of the most beautiful I have ever known. I never regained custody in the court, I retained custody of their hearts!

  • Alfaro

    Thank you to all for sharing your life stories. I used to let negative people get the better of me. I can honestly say I am a very happy person, I just truly want to live life to the fullest, and share my life’s journey with others in a healthy positive way. I reccomend never lose sight of your happiness. There will always be bumps in the paths we choose, those paths make us stronger. It’s ok to fall through this journey we all are on, just remeber to get up and make the best of it all. Life’s a journey not a Destination, Make the most of it and more.
    To: Makuwa Chiwisha – Zambia – Your Message Posted June 12th,
    I totally agree with you. Take Care My Friend.
    To: Anonymous – Your Message Posted June 11th,
    Do we have the same in-laws? I suggest you continue to tune out the remarks, no matter how how difficult it can get. Kill them with Kindness!!! They will eventually get tired of being so negative. Don’t get me wrong being kind only goes so far for us but you will feel better about yourself just knowing you did’nt let them suck you in to the drama. (Misery loves company) and for your kindness you shall reap all the positive rewards. Be patient! Your time will come.

  • steve

    The six points do help. Always remember, HAPPINESS COMES FROM WITHIN. People and possessions can NOT make you happy. The sad truth is, they CAN make you unhappy if you let them, so if you think they provide your source of happiness or fulfillment, you are walking a path to disappointment.
    Don’t cut yourself off from life, live it, feel it, enjoy it, even through the most challenging issues, and realize that you are not alone.

  • Nanette

    Stress, anxiety, HSP, etc, etc. I think that is what my mother may have intended for my middle names to to be. I read about everyone and think that ‘well maybe my problems aren’t all that bad’. But maybe I should discuss them anyway. My stress lies in that my meltdowns are becoming more frequently and it really bothers me. Knowing that I have them and recognize that I have them is what really bothers me because they are not pretty sometimes. I have 3 kids, currently 34 months, 16 months and 16 years. I work full-time 50-60+ hours a week outside the home, sort of. During the school year I am VP on my oldest daughter’s ROTC’s booster club. It’s my only getaway. My job is 74 miles away, one way. Luckily I only have to drive in one day a week. Sometimes my work spills over into dinnertime and sometimes over into the weekend just depends on the job load. I work for a telecommunication company that requires a lot of attention right now with a big merger going. We’ll just put it that way without giving the name. My husband is a commercial pilot who is home about 3 days a week. When he is home he cooks, cleans, and does everything I normally do when he isn’t home. He’s a wonderful husband and does things that a lot of husbands wouldn’t, like clean the toilet and the rest of the bathroom, sweep and mop the floor, go grocery shopping and probably you name it he probably does it. However, on the days he’s off and I’m working from home I am just a mentally wreck. It’s almost like there is no connection there. This is where the HSP kicks in. I am sensitive to his keyboarding being pounded on, the way the kids are acting, the noise around me, everything that that is going on around. I just want to scream. This usually ends up in some kind of argument where no matter how it is discussed, in a whisper, in a light tone, in a screaming match, I am always the bad guy. I just have no where else to turn. When he goes back to work, this is where the meltdown come in. The kids act good when he’s home but as soon as he leaves I have to go through a 24 hour transition to remind them that dad is not here and I am in charge again for the next 4 days. I do a lot more praying during this 1st day when he’s gone. Then when he calls and asks what’s wrong he tries to give advice from afar and gets upset when I don’t do what he says to do. What would anyone else do in this situation – male or female? Stressed or Crazy………………

  • andreena

    Most of the time when your going through something, you think your the only one. I’ve always thought that, I’m the only newly single mother( DIVORCED) that is struggling through trying to raise kids and barely making it. When the ex lives better then me and I feel guilty about things being this way. Most of my frustration comes from this. I work two jobs, spend as much quality time with the girls and still feel guilty. But, I pray constantly, sometimes I cant walk away and from work, to go outside to get some air. But prayer helps a whole lot. I also have made my favorite room in my house, my bathroom my secret place, I put bubbles in the tub that smell great and nice music on, and close and lock my door. This is my ONLY time I put me first and it works. Whatever works that makes you feel good about yourself and it safe, do it and do it often. God Bless and I’m thinking of U

  • Reba

    Other things that are good get inside yourself and whatever you feel is your higher source with me it’s God I talk to him how he can now take charge of whatever is making me uptight that Im putting it in his hands and what will be will be I’ve done what I can now he can take over it works if I have time under real stressful times I sit in empty church and talk with him
    Yoga is excellent too I should do some every day but, I forget till I get real stressed out than I do that too it’s excellent.
    And I love all the ones I read and if anyone wants to write me of other good ones feel free I’m always learning good things from others. I had a great mom a real positive person and I feel that really helped I have a wonderful life not without stress that’s for sure, not without pain, we all have good things and bad things but I learned at a young age to grab and squeeze as much happiness as I can out of life this is no dress rehearsal so I try to make it as good as possible and, so far it’w worked……but daily stress is the trigger to alot of illness it’s important to listen to everyone on how to deal with it. Hugs & All

  • jan

    Would just add one modification to the first technique – if you are walking away in frustration or anger – please try to manage a “I’ll be back when I’m calmer.” so that the person(s) being left behind do not believe themselves abandoned. When I was very young my father often left in anger – just left and I really didn’t know if he was coming back – it left me feeling quite insecure.

  • Dan

    What a great group of comments! I just wanted to add a thought: someone early on said that no one can make you happy – that happiness comes from within. They then went on to say that others CAN unfortunately make you UNHAPPY. Another paradigm to consider might be this: they can’t. Happiness and the lack thereof come from one’s own consistent thoughts and actions, hence the Cognitive-Behavioral approach to psychology. Healthy, aware individuals can rise above the most negative inputs. Sometimes with help, perhaps, social, divine, etc., but it can be done. Have a Great Day!

  • Nancy MacMorris

    Can any provide any further information on the North American Vision Quest, contact names, website, etc? Thanks!

  • colene

    I lost my only son two years aago in August in a very tragic way. I waanted to die too. It took all of my knowledge and tools to stay here for the people who love me, I am blessed with many friends and three granddaughters.
    How I survived is to live in the moment and draw light and love into your heart.
    Things that I have learned are about BOUNDARIES AND DISCERNMENT, AND TH not become addicted to outcomes, and to DELETE the need to understand.
    Every day, every moment is new and I am learniing to just BE.
    I have a strong SPIRITUAL HERITAGE,part NATIVE AMERICA, i BELONG to a tribe in Oklaahomsa.
    I have never commented on one of these sites before, but I felt the need to share.
    I hope that this gives someone else fod for thought or brings them somfort in some small way.
    If anyone would like to email me, i will answer. I speak only from my
    own truth.
    Bright Blessings
    Namaste’

  • Laurie

    I am trying so hard to be uplifted and find solitude. But we are experiencing one negative thing after another. I am depressed to the point I almost feel suicidal. We have no extra funds for nothing, are behind on every single bill and in a repayment plan for our mortgage that if we falter on we lose our home. This week, our central a/c broke. We have no money to fix it and staying in a 90 degree house is bringing me further down. I feel like I want to “run away” from it all. I can’t even think of facing tomorrow and what it will bring. I have two wonderful kids and a wonderful husband, yet these daily issues bring me down. How do I see the good in my life and move forward? I am praying and praying yet it seems each day brings something new that is wrong and I am losing strength.

  • Bonnie

    I burst into laughter when I read the First Strategy. I am a grandmother raising my three grandson’s. For the past few years they have been after me to take them to “Toy’s of Us”, that’s what they call it. Because of problems with my knees, it is difficult for me to walk at times and to take three boys, ages 7-8-9, to Toys r Us is a venture in itself. Even when we just go to a department store, they are given allowence to spend and can spend as long as an hour plus in the toy section. I would surely need help taking them to Toys r Us. The other Strategies are wonderful too. My youngest daughter is into the Native American beliefs and has me reading some of the books she has. My sister gave me “The Woman”s Bible”, some years ago and I find it very helpful in dealing with some of the stress I have. My husband is also in the final stages of Emphysema, and will probably not see another “Father’s Day”. My life is full, and I feel that if I didn’t have the boys to care for it would be blank. My mother passed away years ago, but when I really get depressed about things, I sit down at my computer and write her a letter. She was always my best friend and gave good advice. Then, I delete it. Oddly enough, within a day or so I will find a feather or a humming bird will come to the front window. She loved birds, especially Humming birds. That is a sign that things will iron out, and they usually do. You have to believe in yourself and your capabilities and you can do and be anything you want to be. You are your own best friend!

  • Mel White

    Laurie — I’ve been there. Sometimes still get there. I am a musician with music that may help, it has helped lots of others. E-mail me your address and I will mail you a CD. God is blessing you in ways you can’t see, and you need to trust that all is well even if it doesn’t look that way. Stand strong! Mel

  • Penny

    I was diagnosed as manic depressive a year ago. This past year I have also celebrated 1 year of sobriety. My biggest help in all of this has been God. Without the word, the strength, the faith and belief that I have in Jesus Christ I would not have been able to make it. The first year of not drinking ended in disaster. I tried suiside and then got baker acted for 72 hours. That’s when I realized I could not do anything without God.
    This past year in dealing with the depression has been a struggle, but I find these things help. I walk every day for 30 minutes, I ride my bike every day for 1 hour. while doing this I listen to comforting music.
    Sitting outside reading for just an hour, it may be a book, my Bible or my Bible study. Relaxation is time spent on this machine finding info. and others who deal with the same. Belief.net is my most comforting web site. Also work is one of my outlets. I am a waitress with the Olive Garden. I love the management group, the people I work with and always have the nicest guests. Working gets me out of the house and routines of housework and motherhood. I enjoy spending time with my husband. We spend Sat. mornings yard sailing and grocery shopping. Just going to Home Depot with him is a relaxing and joyable time. We also send each other love letters back and forth over email each day. It may be a guideline, a word of love or just a joke.
    Solitude is essential. I spend quiet time in our room, I may read or watch T.V. or just take a nap, but everyone knows when the door is shut I need my time to myself and I’m left alone for that time.
    Shopping with my 16 yr old daughter and swimming with my 13 yr. old son are great times. This weekend is family time up north on the Atlantic. Just 2 days, but away from Englewood.
    Take everyone. I will hold you in my prayers as you continue to find the right path. Just remember one thing, God never gives us what we cannot handle, and most things are small stuff. The big stuff, God handles in His time and wisdom.
    Love, Penny

  • Morgan

    Sometimes our lives seem tumultuous, but we fight our battles and move on. But, what if some battles are not meant to be won? How do you learn to live with a secret that’s destroying you- both physically and mentally? I’ve prayed for freedom from this burden so many times it’s almost verbatim. About 5 years ago I began my struggle with bulimia. It has driven a wedge between me and my sanity. I used to think I had control over it, until I TRIED to stop. Nothing happened. Nothing different anyway. I have prayed, meditated, cried, and written about it until I am blue in the face. I tried telling myself I will stop one day. And I truly believe that. I just hope that day isn’t the last day of my life. I am even in school now to become a therapist who specializes in eating disorders so I can help the people out there who seek help. But, how can I expect to help people recover from their problem when I can’t recover from my own?? Can anyone help??

  • John

    MORGAN,
    I hesitate to offer advice since I have a very limited knowledge of your situation. Perhaps if you look at your bulimia as a symptom instead of the problem. Think of treating your bulimia as if treating a fever. Is the fever the problem or is it what is causing the fever? When you treat a fever, you are not doing what is necessary to fix the problem because the fever is not the problem, but a symptom. So, if you look at your bulimia as a symptom of something deeper, then discover that something deeper(self-esteem issues, depression, etc.). Once you begin treating the something deeper, the bulimia will be easier to control.

  • Bev

    This is the first time I have read these comments and am thankful I stop long enough to do just that. As I read I thank God for all the good he has done for me. I have custody of a very hurting, depressed and sad young 16 yr old who’s going to be a mommy who needs a mommy. My granddaughter and I just lift her up to God and let his will be done. She needs so many prayers.

  • Clarice

    As a HSP I have found Byron Katie’s work to be immensely helpful. She has two books out and you can view her work on the internet at thework.org. The bottom line is letting go of resistance and accepting what is. Its the resistance that causes us suffering. Blessings to all of you.

  • CAROL

    dear writer,
    that was an entertaining practical piece! thanks so much from one who is burnt-out!

  • Cindy and Jordan

    I really agree with the suggestion for calming down these are some suggestion for my son that has to deal with dissapointments, anger and just not gwtting his way. Especially the one that says get out of the situation, dont even go there remove yourself and just calm down. I quote…

  • mary

    Thank you. Each suggestion is one I developed myself as a stay at home Mom years ago. They all work, I swear. Water, yes! Those positive ions apparently actually drag the negative ions out of our systems. Anything in nature works the same.

  • Kay

    All I can do right now is print it all out. Obviously you’re on to something. Thank you.

  • Gizmolove

    Dear Anonymous,
    6 things that I have learned to help me out (when I was in your situation).
    1) Other peoples opinion of me, is not (nearly) as important as my opinion of myself. (To your own self be true).
    2) I do not need anyone else to validate me. (Others will disagree with me from time to time. But, that doesn’t make me wrong; or, them right/wrong).
    3) Someone else’s negative, does not have to be a MYnegative. (I have the ability and the power to turn lemons into lemonade).
    4) If you don’t like my politics, religion, etc., then don’t engage me. (If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen, because I will always be true to myself and my convictions).
    5) I never fuss over things I can’t control. (Quit walking into walls – they don’t move).
    6) I am responsible for the way I am treated. (If I want people to quit treating me like a door mat, then I have to quit accepting that roll).
    Couple these 6 with the ability to walk in the other persons shoes; and, you will have many more successful relationships.
    People that love you will take queues on how you want to be treated. And, people that do not love you don’t matter. It only matters that you love them, (anyway).
    Hugs,
    Giz

  • Ivon

    I just came across the six points and frankly… I need them. I will be printing them out and posting them by where I sleep. I feel awful, like a doormat, I’ve frankly tuned out of my family and I sometimes just cry and cry and I still do not feel better, while ‘he’ is looking just peachy!!!! I’m angry all the time, but most of all I am very sad. I am so sad that I even cry in my sleep now. I just hope to pick up more strength along the way and move on.
    Thanks for these! I’m glad that I came across them!

  • Janine

    I’m in the midst of going through a separation/divorce, and I just realized I’ve forgotten to take advantage of all the things that can help me relax – living 2 miles from the ocean, walkable flat sidewalks, just breathing fresh air. I work in a very busy area in the city but even there it’s possible to just go outside for a few minutes and let the rhythm of the city distract me from the stresses of life.
    Thank you so much for reminding me how easily I can make my blood pressure go down.

  • jose alarcon

    good morning, its a funny thing how i used 3 out of the six just yesterday trying yo have a happy fathers day, i did not think of the other 3 but thanks for posting them, hopefully i wont have to use them but realistically i know for sure i will, thanks again have a great day.

  • Crazylady

    Dear Ivon,
    I don’t know who you are but you took the words right out of my mouth. I also cry all the time cause try as I may I cannot make my family love me. They have all abandoned me in the past 3mon. and I have no idea why. Have tried to find answers to qestions unanswered but get stopped by a brick wall. Am being investigated by the government who by the way supports me even tho I own real property that my husband-xhusband (have no idea and can’t find out from county clerks office either)says he owns. Have tried to get an Identy Theft case going but again no luck. All I do is cry cause I can’t afford a lawyer and Legal Aid won’t help me. Am stopped dead in my tracks. All I know is I must be very strong or I would have killed myself by now. Will try today again to get a lawyer but only get paid once a month and most of that goes to pay bills. Just had my car taken away from me so can’t even go talk to my therapist cause I have to walk a half a mile to his office from the bus stop and can’t walk that far cause of a medical condition. Was on the couch for 8mons. with my head swollen and in emergency twice but they couldn’t find anything wrong with me. Everything in my life has become a dead end. I question everyday why I wake up in the morning, their is no reason for me to be here anymore, why do I not go to sleep at night until my eyes slam shut?????? This emotional distress is so all consuming for me and there is no way out. Anybody got any suggestions???? I have already tried the legal route but just another dead end cause money talks……..and you know the rest.

  • Bruce

    Dear crazylady,
    You are not going crazy. Many people are experiencing the crazyness you are going through, especially concerning family. This world is going through a major Shift. My guess is that you are a highly sensitive person who is spiritually connected and you are being prepared and will soon be called to assist others in the future. In order to do this you must accept this fire walk. Look In to your Heart for the answers. Follow your Path. Speak your Truth. What you are going through will all make sense soon. Hope this helps…

  • Jawa

    There is a say mum always use* who donot agree canot go along.*and another say live by today as if you are dieing tomorow.live the moment donot let things go krancky with u take a deep breath every morning and see what u have and others donot and thank the god for his blessing.i know from experiance that sometime i got myself in a corner from a situation i drag my self to but in time i say i can do it and rivive as much as the last time .thanks for sharing with us your six plane.You got to learn the spiritual way of being or having the power of patience that will lead you to the knowing yourself.

  • Leslie

    There’s one more thing you can do to relieve stress, go down to a private section of the beach and scream as loud as you can. I used this method to quit smoking, it’s been 21 years now since I quit.

  • Jan

    I am so concerned for my sister and her daughter. It has been over a year since we lost my great niece, the only grandchild and daughter. My sister is so consumed with sadness, but is very involved in church. Her daughter has the faith of Job, but the grief is unbearable. There may be a few minutes in a day that I myself don’t think of my precious great niece that died in her sleep at age 17, one week after her 17th birthday. Please pray for her mother, Sherry and her grandmother Brenda. I am doing better myself, but life seems so empty without her in it. I can’t help myself with this, and they really don’t like to talk about it with me. I have a 20 year old son and they were like brother and sister. If this is the wrong place to request this prayer could you please forward to someone who can please pray for us. So many people can’t understand why we can’t just go on with life. Even our pastor says we have to let it go. That hurts so bad when he says that. How do we let go?
    God Bless anyone who has lost a child and please give them strength and comfort beyond all understanding. Amen.
    Jan

  • liza

    What you’ve posted were very helpful for us working moms. I’m using almost all in different situations. But what really helped me a lot to relieve and calm down was to go out and take a walk. From office going directly at home are very stressful for me, i used to go out every wednesday after office hour sometimes to malls or going to church. Being inside the chapel makes me feel at peace and relax. Whatever i want to do inside the chapel like crying, being silent with prayers, just sitting inside for at least half an hour really helped me a lot. Then by the time i went home with my kids, everythings turned out fine. No more arguments, i don’t get angry anymore with my kids during teaching hours,etc. Maybe having time at peace with yourself wherever you are will help a lot. What more by having simple praying and talking to God,I think that’s the best thing to do. Being with yourself and the Lord will let you know yourself more and think of what’s best you can do in every situation right now.
    I hope this could help you guys, i will also pray for each and everyone.

  • Anonymous

    I lost a son almost 2 years ago and I’m still not “over it”. Weekly counseling with a christian counselor helps me but nothing will take the place of leaning on the Lord for comfort……one day at a time. It still hurts terribly, nothing compares. My heart breaks for you all.

  • Melissa

    I Need Prayer. I am just beside myself with hurt and depression. I went through a horrible divorce with a man I was married to for 13 years and have two children by. He cheated with a close friend and is still with her now. we live in a small town so I see them all the time. which still has quite a sting. Well I met a man I thought hung the moon, he absolutly treated me better than I had ever been treated in my life. He had had a past with drugs but when I met him he was going to church and i never seen a sign of him doing anything bad, much less drugs. so we dated for 10 months, and then we got married. well he wanted us to have a child because he didn’t have any children of his own. we descussed it for a while and decided even though my children were 12 and 10 we would have one together. Last week he walked out on me, no warning – no signs. I am devastated. He won’t hardly answer his cell phone and when he does he is mean and hateful. I have heard just from asking around that he is back on drugs. now her I am 34 years old, 6 months pregnant and left alone. He swore I would never have to go through that hurt again and I think he has hurt me even worse than my first husband. Just the sitting here not knowing if he is O.k. or not being able to talk to him is driving me absolutly crazy please pray for me and my unborn child the stress is almost unbareable

  • theresa

    dear melissa,
    please keep the faith. that little one has a purpose and also feels your pain. he or she wants to love you and looks forward to being a part of your family. your child will be a source of blessing in your life and may God bless you..i will pray for you too.
    theresa

  • Anonymous

    I lost my one of my kids dad last year and i cant seem to get his oldest son out of depression i hurts me to see his distance himself from his family i know that he will be ok but right now is whats hard for me to handle my son is 13 and my daughter with him is soon to be 7 she didn’t know him that well but she knows that is her father and his friends told me at the funeral that they would keep in touch with his kids not mine its like hes gone and everybody has moved on which i know that is what happens but their father is gone not his kids they still need someone there just to say i knew your dad and he was good. He wouldn’t want to see you going down the wrong road just pray for me and my family

  • Kristina

    I want to “Thank you” all for the awesome suggestions you have put on here. Everyone shares there stories on here, and right now I”m going through a really rough time. My husband who I thought was my everything is in jail for domestic abuse by strangulation (on me). After that persons been with you for so long why does it have to be so hard to walk away? I know he did wrong, I could have died 20 seconds later if he would have kept it up. Why does it have to be so hard to be alone. Why can’t you just lay down at night and sleep. He’s been in jail for a month almost and his hearing isn’t till July 18th, and he called Father’s day and I freaked out, and again this morning and I couldn’t handle it. I then called the jail and had my number blocked. I”m trying to cope, and have learned so much about our relationship that it isn’t even funny. I learned that I could have done all the things I wanted to. Could have finished college last year, but there was always an excuse to why I couldn’t. I didn’t think I was pretty, but now that he’s not around I notice guys smiling and checking me out. I have been attending church for a long time since this has happened, and I want to cry, but haven’t found the right time to grieve. Is there every a right time? I want him permanently gone out of my life. Any suggestions would be greatful.

  • Nicole

    May God bless all of you in your pains and sorrows. Many of you have pains that no human may not even be able to begin to understand, But, understand this “GOD is real and he has a purpose for us all; even though it may seem as if it is too hard to bare, you will make it! Some are in your life for a season and others for a lifetime but know this: GOD IS FOREVER AND ALWAYS. Hold on to his unchanging hand and stay in the fight. You are in my prayers.
    MAY YOU ALL BE BLESSED!

  • Gayle

    All of these suggestions are great for those with anxiety disorders! I have been praticing many of these techniques for a long time. Number one, I quit a highly stressful job. This allowed me to take some time for myself. When I was in that stressful situation, I would drink lots of water as it does have healing powers. I would make sure I took my lunch break and would drive over to the local park and eat in my car then take a walk by the pond where they had lots of lilies in bloom. Again another healing power. Taking a walk outside is another healing technique I use frequently. I love nature. Now the last one is new to me. A walking meditation sounds interesting. Just doing a small simple meditation works wonders for me. This is a great article and I know because I practice most of these techniques already, but there is always room for improvement.

  • Vickcy Berseth

    I know the feeling of peacefulness, when I float on my back in two feet of water, legs touching God’s beautiful water and droppong to the bottom of water,touching the sand and I feel such freedom and totally relax; yes and look at God’s blue sky and clouds and feel 1/6 th my weight…Float!
    Thanking Him for this pleasure; my mind enjoying and being grateful I can walk and be there, heel spurs, neck spurs, 4 bulged discs, all getting nicely frozen and pain free.
    Where your heart is then so shall….
    Our thinking is up to us, keep giving it to God, keep turning the thought to positive ones, over and over. Over the past 10 years one of my repetetive sayings is, ” at least I don’t have this; in other words the situation can always be worse.
    I think of the people God has placed in my life, quadrapalegic, Parkinsons, hereditary ataxia…so I pray for them and the little money they live on from the government, and how they go to sleep with the bible in their hands.
    Last summer I was trying to sleep with three cracked ribs, and I said crying; “God, I really need a hug”, and I felt the spirit gently enfold around my shoulders.
    I will never forget that; after all my years praying and in choir, bible studies, my head moving to the spirit, my stomach convulsing with joyful tears of love…this really was a blessing to show me God is always listening.
    God Bless everyone, and never give up on anyone or anything. God is always with us.
    Vicky Berseth

  • Vicky Berseth

    Please can I ask you readers; to pray for Diane Sutter, in her 80′s and a blessed gal; these last few days her arthritis in her knees, she cannot walk anymore, in a wheelchair and my son in Sacramento is trying to help her to bathroom and keep his construction job going.
    Thank you, and God Bless
    Vicky Berseth

  • vicky berseth

    Matthew 7:33 Seel first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
    My bad habit can be worrying but in Matthew chapter 6 it has a heading, “Do not worry”.
    We are what we think, and I ask God many times a day to change my thinking, and he gives me good memories and feelings.
    My brother in law gave me good advice, he said “just put the face of Jesus on top, of anyone or thing, and then I find more peace with everything.
    If I try as much as I can to keep thinking of Jesus, all the time, and the good things I have received and the beautiful things in nature and people, then I am more at peace.
    I have a story…in AA about 8 years ago, a newcomer brought me to her house, to listen to her 5th step, and I brought a 16 X 20 picture of Jesus with the red ray giving us his good(ness) blood and the blue ray taking our bad and painful stuff into his heart and releasing contunually to him, and taking his love from the red ray.
    Well I loved that picture, and 3 years later, I was at a garage sale, and a lady had the same picture, with masking tape on top of the frame and it said “priceless”..so she gave it to me for free.
    Now in canada, I am secretary for Peel Manor volunteers, and their garage sale, gave me the picture AGAIN! This time in “color”
    God is good.
    I touch his feet, his heart and lifted hand, with my praises and much needed prayer requests, for people.
    Matthew 6:9
    Our Father in heaven,
    hallowed be your name,
    your kingdom come,
    your will be done
    on earth as it is in heaven.
    Give us our daily bread
    Forgive us our debts,
    as we also forgive our debtors.
    And lead us not into temptation
    but deliver us from the evil one.
    Vicky Berseth

  • Jennifer

    I can relate to the practice of mindful meditation while walking, but my method was more extroverted. What I mean by that is, I would concentrate more on my surroundings and the vibrations of everything around me while taking it in slowly as I kept moving. That is what helped me to keep my stamina and momentum building my duration while creating a different way of focus by receiving it more. I must say though, concentrating on your breath and movement is a good idea if you choose to conjure up your own energetic or electric storms (so to speak). Instead of concentrating on collecting the lightening, I should try building my own internally. That is a brilliant idea.
    ~Jennifer

  • Julie

    I am going through several difficult issues myself. I try to pray every time I feel depressed or stressed out. Sometimes the situations are too overwhelming and I feel like my life will never get better.
    I pray for each of you. We all have our own struggles and problems. Please remember to pray for yourself, you’re not alone!
    God bless you all.

  • Nicole

    Hey,
    Thanks for sharing. I go through that situation on a daily basis and this article is just what I needed to see. I have six people in my household. Four children ranging in the ages of 10,8,6, and 3, also myself and my husband.
    I will take 1-6 and work them in my daily routine everyday. There is an angel looking out for those Overwelmed Stay At Home Moms. I’ll keep you posted.
    Thanks,
    Overwhelmed

  • EILEEN SIMMONDS

    YOU SOMETIMES WE SEEM TO FORGET THAT THE PARENTS AND IN-LAWS WERE IN THE SAME BOAT AS US DON’T YOU THINK ONE SHOULD SIT DOWN WITH THEM AND THROUGH THEM WITH THE QUESTION HOW DID YOU SORT OUT THE PROBLEM YOU HAD WITH YOUR IN-LAWS AND THEN YOU CAN USE THERE TACK TICKS TO OVERCOME YOURS. EILEEN SIMMONDS SOUTH AFRICA

  • Jeff

    Please pray for Blair. She is 15 and she has leukemia. Thank you! God bless you! — Her Uncle Jeff
    http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/blairdowney

  • vawn

    I really enjoyed the calming excersie yet I find that they are already things that I do on a daily basis I hope you can also add something like the latest herbal cures to also help relax a person thank you. vawn

  • Jack

    Situations are triggers and knowing what keeps us “high” is arming ourselves to fit in to situation. While issues are there, it is always a wonderful thing to keep one’s cool amidst the destractions…it pays to think and conquer oneself…

  • Mary Ann Forte

    I have always been sensitive in nature and would cry over a sad or happy things that happenend to people in a movie. My two sons that are several years apart knew when they were watching a movie with me and if something was going to happen they would both turn to look at me to see if I was going to cry. I tried and tried not to cry but it never failed … if I even watched 10 minutes of a 2 hour movie and something happenend you would of thought I saw the whole movie.
    I always told my son’s that I was taught to put myself in the other person’s shoes and imagine if it were my husband or my children that it happenend to that would be happy/sad to me … and now I automatically feel like it happenend to someone close to me instead of it being just a television show. They sort of took that for an answer but still expecting some emotions from me because the character on the show displayed it.
    Now at 48 years old after reading your article I realize I am HSP.

  • Bridget

    HSP’s are very close to nature. Our modern life is disconnected from nature. It makes us sick. HSP are very important people who keep the earth in balance. They are highly spiritual souls. They create beauty and art. To make the earth a better planet we need more HSP meetings and more research about this disposition.

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    Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it. (Deal with each problem as it arises).

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    Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

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