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Beginner's Heart

Beginner's Heart

Beginner's Heart Archives

the names of the dead are ghosts

A couple of weeks ago I upgraded my phone. Which meant shifting contacts. And as there was a major update on my desktop as well, it seemed a good idea to go through my directory. Because people die. And it […]

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the vulnerability of grace

This is a post about sharing. About a man who has inspired me for a long time, and his impending loss. It’s about intelligence, wit, and vulnerability. And the irreplaceable magic of those braided qualities. It’s about making a good life, […]

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Parinirvana Day (thoughts on death and dying)

When I was very young, I was afraid the people I loved — mostly my old ladies — would die. And their deaths were important only as they impacted me (remember, I was a child). I would lose them.  And […]

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a bardo for Richard

My friend Richard died this week. Tuesday, to be precise. And in light of that precision, he was really my sister’s friend, at least at first. But because we ended up talking across her FB page, we became friends too. […]

farewells, and a goodbye belief

I’m not good at goodbye. Nor farewell, nor see ya later. Nor any kind of leave-taking. HATE them. Too many moves as a kid. Too many folks I’ll never see again. Buddhism is the ultimate goodbye belief. You know: the […]

after…

I don’t know what happens when we die. After, I mean. I don’t believe in heaven — but I don’t believe in hell, either. I have no idea if we reincarnate, although many Buddhists do believe in reincarnation. I only […]

death of a blue jay ~

I don’t want to tell you how much of our retirement fund goes for bird seed. Not to mention bird feeders, suet and the containers to put it in, hummer feeders (and sugar for it — we make our own […]

holy days, fire & faith ~

It is Good Friday.  It is Holy Week. It is Passover. And other faiths, too — more individual, more isolate — also bear witness to death and redemption. In California, a dear friend still mourns the death of his beloved. […]

friendship, funerals, & the bus people ~

Today is my friend Carol’s memorial service. It will be held in the chapel where I was married, on the campus where Carol, her husband , and most of my family — including my husband & I — went to […]

grieving for Carol ~

Once again I am wishing I believed in an afterlife where I would reconnect with people who leave me too soon. Leave irredeemably. Permanently. That hard word forever. But I don’t. Once again I wish I had had more time. […]

day 24 of Thanksgiving month: seatbelts and nieces ~

My youngest niece (I have a bouquet of wonderful nieces :)) walked away this morning from her mother’s totalled Honda. Anne was wearing her seatbelt. So this my BIG thank-you today: Anne and her seatbelt. Buddhism, as the Buddhist writer […]

death & loss & grief & rites of passage ~

My cousin’s son died this past weekend. Killed instantly, with his best friend, in a tragic car accident. He was 25. A funeral is no celebration of life when the dead are young. Their lives cut short by the snick […]

death, not taxes ~

I am working on my death. Well, actually, it’s more like I’m working on my life up to my death. But I’m trying to hold that singularly discomforting goal in mind — the one event no one avoids. My friends […]

death, life, & memory ~

A former student, sharing sad news with me, paid me a lovely compliment this past week. First he told me of his mother’s impending death from cancer. Then he said: I knew you’d want to know. And – I thought […]

Previous Posts

packed bags and letting go
My youngest son is readying for another adventure. One that involves rolled up clothes in duffel bags, a passport, and another continent. He can't wait. By ...

posted 8:49:55pm Apr. 28, 2016 | read full post »

fathers, and what a grandson can remind us
This is the way I always remember my father. He was much younger than I am now -- 20 years or so. Today is his birthday: he would be 99, were he still with ...

posted 5:40:36pm Apr. 23, 2016 | read full post »

interludes, illness, and coming back to focus
It's been a while. I plead flu, travel, a rambunctious grandson of not-quite-three, and life in general. Somehow, when people spoke of retirement, I had ...

posted 2:03:08pm Apr. 18, 2016 | read full post »

why poetry?
It's National Poetry Month again! I adore National Poetry Month. For one thing, it's April, and that's my birthday month. So I get presents (which I also ...

posted 6:10:44pm Apr. 03, 2016 | read full post »

social media, bad news, and hate
I have a love-hate relationship with social media these days. One year I gave it up for Lent, and I should have just kept driving in that ...

posted 8:55:03pm Mar. 28, 2016 | read full post »

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