Tonight, I wish you magic. I wish you peace, love, & joy. I wish you the kind of unexpected miracles that happened a century ago, in the middle of a war. When men reached out across the line of fire, and exchanged gifts and blessings. A Christmas truce that remains, for me, one of the most hopeful of miracles.
May your holy days be full of love.
So — you’ve been notified: I just hit my Grinch wall. I am heartily SICK of cooking, cleaning, wrapping presents, and the whole shebang. I want to be on a beach SOMEWHERE WARM, w/out ice bending my beloved trees to the point of pain. I want MORE SUNLIGHT. I want TO NOT BE CRANKY the day before it all starts up! (at least at our house)
Grandmother would say I have wantin’ ways… She’d even say wantin’ instead of wanting, even though she taught school for years. Probably an echo of her own grandmother…
I don’t really. I’m just tired. And kind of used up. It’s an easy place to get, if you’re not careful. Or if the weather conspires against us, and you get ACUTE cabin fever, aggravaged by your usual “I need more LIGHT!” winter doldrums.
Waking up, I didn’t even want to get out of bed. The driveway is a solid sheet of ice, so going somewhere is like driving with a beginner’s permit. And all the stuff to eat is either leftovers I’m heartily sick of, or more cooking. Glurg.
He’s currently defrosting our car. And then he’s taking me to LUNCH! EVEN with the ice, the traffic, and my crankiness. How great is that?
So here’s today thought: sometimes even beginner’s hearts need a rest. NOT a break. 🙂 But just a moment when someone else does the whole love & caring thing. When you can just relax and be what you are, that moment. It’s part of what meditation & Buddhism teach you now: be here, now. This crankiness is who I am right now — exhausted, and worried I won’t be back to my (relatively cheerful) normal self when my kids & grandson arrive this weekend. So far, I’ve managed to only put love into what I’ve done for the holiday prep. I don’t WANT those preparations to become irritating, or to infuse crankiness into what I’m doing.
Hence, as my younger son would say, I’m on holiday strike today. I’m being who I am right now. And luckily? I have the best beloved in the universe to indulge & comfort me. I wish the same for each of you.
I love the look of branches sheathed in ice. Especially when the grey winter light silvers them against the sky.This is actually a colour photo, taken out my breakfast room window — with winter a monotone of greys, silvers, charcoals and the occasional not-quite-white.
Winter is so much more beautiful — almost tame — when we have working central heat. It becomes a kind of 1st world game to keep the thermostat a bit low, so we have to wear layers (I have on a sweater over a Tshirt, and took this picture in comfort). The dogs snuggle on old rugs in front of the heating vent, and no one is suffering.
But a few years back, a homeless man froze to death only 6 blocks from our home. He was trying to shelter under the drive-through at the bank on the corner. A bitter winter night killed him. And it brought ‘home’ to me what home means: safety. Warmth. More than a roof — the drive-through had that.
I know: it wasn’t (& isn’t) my ‘fault.’ But a homeless man, here. Freezing to death in my neighbourhood. How can that happen? How can we make sure it never happens again? Anywhere??
And the truth is? I can’t. Not really. Homelessness is a fact of the economic downturn, the greed of banks, and the apathy of most of us. I give to local charities that work with homeless women and men, but I also know that not everyone goes in to charity shelters. And this time of year — when it’s a windchill in the low 20s, and branches are cracking like gunshots as they succumb to sheaths of ice — they’re woefully overcrowded.
But if we work together, WE can. Make a difference (and even one of us can do that, really). So here’s my hope: that everyone who reads this will send something — even a couple of $$ — to a local charity that works with the homeless. If each of us did, there would be thousands of dollar$ going towards warmth and safety and life.
It’s enough to warm hearts, for sure ~
This is our Christmas tree. And so far, I’ve wrapped all but maybe three of the gifts beneath it. By hand. With love & thoughts of each recipient. Because that’s how Aunt Bonnie taught me to do it. Along with toooo much Scotch tape (or so I’m told — but hey! Shouldn’t you tape every side??), mitred corners, and careful matching of wrap to person and ribbon to wrap.
It’s part of the fun. IF you have time…
I’m coming to believe that the reason most surveys show retirees as happier than any other demographic is because we have time. Not so much $$, but time to make up for it. This year, I learned to tie a variation on the famous Tiffany bow. Because the variation uses less ribbon, and I like nice ribbon. Which is… well, not cheap. 🙂 I don’t do grosgrain any more, really — I like French ribbon, with wire edges, and old-fashioned hang tags that become part of the present.
But again, I have this luxury. My beloved indulges me. And we do reuse the ribbon from year to year, plus I’m very good at hiding the original tag on a nice gift bag to use it again, as well!
I know — you’re wondering: what the HECK does this have to do beginner’s heart? Much less Buddhism??
If you were in one of my classes, I’d make you guess. 😉 Because the guesses are always sooo much more fun than my answers! 🙂
We spent a lot of time finding gifts we hope our sons, DIL, nieces, nephews, sisters & brothers, will love. Or at least like! And the package is part of that. As is the smile and generous eye contact you make w/ barista at your favourite coffee shop. Or the æsthetician who cuts your hair, does your nails. Or the nice trash guys who always take that extra box that didn’t fit in the recycle bin.
It’s nice to tip — you should (servers and service personnel make ZIP base wages). But the smile — the recognition of the other person’s shared humanity? THAT’s the foil wrap and glitter ribbon. And THAT’s what is so much fun to give. As well as receive. (Although so is Tiffany’s!)
Just sayin’ ~ 🙂