Beginner's Heart

Beginner's Heart

loss Archives

the winter of loss ~

I’m reading Pema Chodron’s When Things Fall Apart. She notes that death makes way for birth, and that birth follows death. In my family, we’ve always believed (a kind of Oklahoma folk belief :)) that when one passes, another comes. […]

boxes & wet ink ~

Sometimes, when things really cut deep, I try to compartmentalise. I want to be the oyster: coat pain and irritation w/ something soothing, wall it off. I wish the boxes produced pearls… Other times, everything bleeds together. A bit like […]

death, life, & memory ~

A former student, sharing sad news with me, paid me a lovely compliment this past week. First he told me of his mother’s impending death from cancer. Then he said: I knew you’d want to know. And – I thought […]

lost journals, Alzheimer’s and hope ~

I lost my journal yesterday. Now, in the spectrum of griefs, on a day when almost 100 people lost their lives in Norway, this is a very tiny blip. It’s just paper, w/ some words and drawings and pasted-in ephemera. […]

Previous Posts

rain, rain
It's raining. The gardener in me is happy, but the sun-loving reptile? Not so much. Most things are like this, I suspect -- good news/bad news. And not even 'bad' news. Just inconvenient, or gloomy, or ... d

posted 2:22:43pm Apr. 24, 2014 | read full post »

reflections on mortality
Nothing like a nervous day at the doc's to make you realise your life is very good. Not that I needed reminding... But it still serves as a bit of a wake-up call. You know: what the heck are you whining about?

posted 6:12:24pm Apr. 23, 2014 | read full post »

you don't always get what you want...
I'm raising bees! Today I went outside to check on them, and the brilliant blue/ green/ yellow & black of their bodies glittered as the females laid multiple eggs in the tubes of my mason bee house. The ne

posted 4:09:22pm Apr. 22, 2014 | read full post »

when Buddhism and Christianity were THIS close
Most of the time, I confess, I think of Christianity as a violent religion. Beginning w/ the Crusades, various holy wars, the Spanish Inquisition, the Salem witch trials, Nazi Germany... It

posted 6:43:33pm Apr. 21, 2014 | read full post »

form, poetry, and the empty cup
I spent the day researching obscure poetic forms.  And it was enormous fun -- thinking about what to pour into those elegant white cups of structure. Along the way, I wrote this poem for my sisters (the least structured of women). But we'll get to the poem in a moment. Because what's important i

posted 3:41:38pm Apr. 18, 2014 | read full post »


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