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Beginner's Heart

Beginner's Heart

loss Archives

afterwards

After any death, there is (at least in all the cultures I’m familiar with) a ceremony. In our case, Mom’s funeral. It was definitely a family affair: my sister-in-law led the service, reading well-known & well-loved excerpts from the Bible. […]

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the mortality of cats

At her best, my 14-year-old cat Kali is doing great. She can still jump (most of the time) onto my desk to eat the snack I fixed (NOT for her). She usually maneuvers the leap from the coffee table to […]

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day #17 of National Poetry Month ~

Poetry always helps me with grief. With rage at injustice, with loss. With all the sorrows — as well as joys — of human existence. Today’s poem is for the many victims rippling out from the horrific centre of the […]

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friendship, funerals, & the bus people ~

Today is my friend Carol’s memorial service. It will be held in the chapel where I was married, on the campus where Carol, her husband , and most of my family — including my husband & I — went to […]

when paths part: a contemplation on beginner’s heart ~

One of my students just unfriended me on Facebook. First, however, she sent me a lengthy email, hurt & angry that my posts reflect poorly on her political party, and her political hero. I fully accept responsibility there — as […]

the winter of loss ~

I’m reading Pema Chodron’s When Things Fall Apart. She notes that death makes way for birth, and that birth follows death. In my family, we’ve always believed (a kind of Oklahoma folk belief :)) that when one passes, another comes. […]

boxes & wet ink ~

Sometimes, when things really cut deep, I try to compartmentalise. I want to be the oyster: coat pain and irritation w/ something soothing, wall it off. I wish the boxes produced pearls… Other times, everything bleeds together. A bit like […]

death, life, & memory ~

A former student, sharing sad news with me, paid me a lovely compliment this past week. First he told me of his mother’s impending death from cancer. Then he said: I knew you’d want to know. And – I thought […]

lost journals, Alzheimer’s and hope ~

I lost my journal yesterday. Now, in the spectrum of griefs, on a day when almost 100 people lost their lives in Norway, this is a very tiny blip. It’s just paper, w/ some words and drawings and pasted-in ephemera. […]

Previous Posts

packed bags and letting go
My youngest son is readying for another adventure. One that involves rolled up clothes in duffel bags, a passport, and another continent. He can't wait. By ...

posted 8:49:55pm Apr. 28, 2016 | read full post »

fathers, and what a grandson can remind us
This is the way I always remember my father. He was much younger than I am now -- 20 years or so. Today is his birthday: he would be 99, were he still with ...

posted 5:40:36pm Apr. 23, 2016 | read full post »

interludes, illness, and coming back to focus
It's been a while. I plead flu, travel, a rambunctious grandson of not-quite-three, and life in general. Somehow, when people spoke of retirement, I had ...

posted 2:03:08pm Apr. 18, 2016 | read full post »

why poetry?
It's National Poetry Month again! I adore National Poetry Month. For one thing, it's April, and that's my birthday month. So I get presents (which I also ...

posted 6:10:44pm Apr. 03, 2016 | read full post »

social media, bad news, and hate
I have a love-hate relationship with social media these days. One year I gave it up for Lent, and I should have just kept driving in that ...

posted 8:55:03pm Mar. 28, 2016 | read full post »

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