Beginner's Heart

via deviantart

via deviantart

I hurt someone’s feelings today. Hurt them completely unintentionally, but still deeply. Reminded a man of ways in which the world may see him, even though I don’t believe I do.

And even though I apologised — heartfelt, humbly, and more than once (more than twice) — he believes I don’t like him. Because I also have a very strange sense of humour, and teased him once. Note to self: other folks aren’t always good w/ teasing. And to be fair? I tease almost everyone.

Please understand: I did not tease him about what he’s sensitive about. I’m not totally clueless, just occasionally a dolt. But I did tease him, which to me shows that I don’t think of him as…well, someone to be treated w/ especial care. Normal kindness & human compassion? Sure. At least I hope I treat folks I encounter with both of those.

Still, now he believes I don’t like him. He told me so, and I have to trust him that he feels this way. It’s not true — I like him fine. But a beginner’s heart is often stubbornly stupid, or at least mine is. And I have no idea how to make this right, or if I even can. Obviously he’s far pricklier than I knew, and understandably so. His life is not easy. I still wish I could figure out how to make this better.

Sigh. So, f anyone has any idea how to make amends to someone you unintentionally hurt deeply? Let me know. I could use some coaching here…

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