Beginner's Heart

via wikicommons

via wikicommons

It may not seem like an everyday gratitude, but it is, if you think about it. Anger, I mean. It’s useful as both a gauge and a valve, obviously — letting you know when things are past your comfort zone. But also serving as a release for pent-up feelings of more complexity (inadequacy, taken-advantage-of, manipulated, etc.).

Today, when someone hurt my feelings, I reacted. Strongly. Explained my feelings were hurt, and why. And although I initially felt a bit bad — I don’t think it was intentional, at all — I also felt grateful that I can voice my feelings.

Many folks can’t, and/or just don’t. They sit on anger until it eats away at them, or until it blows up waaay out of proportion to the trigger. Which is NOT a good thing, for anyone.

I’m also grateful that I’m beginning to learn just how to voice anger — gently (except I don’t, always… 🙁 ). With compassion and careful statement of what happened. In my mad youth, I would just blow up. Yell, cry, sometimes even throw things (not often, but it has been known to happen). Which accomplishes zip, nada, rien.

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via wikicommons

Nothing, in other words.

So this is a nod of gratefulness to the anger fairy. Thank you for teaching me (the hard way, and time after time of hard ways!) to catch my breath — even if I have to walk into another room, or let things slide for a bit. To articulate clearly (to myself, first of all) what’s angering me. And to be able to sift beneath the brightly coloured leaves of anger to the ground below. AKA what’s really wrong.

Here’s a suggestion: next time you get really mad, try to figure out the why of it. Yes, your beloved never folds the laundry. Is this really a big deal? Or is it emblematic of how you feel put upon, and taken for granted. Then sit down — calmly! — and share. I guarantee you’ll see why I think it’s something to be grateful for, anger.

And we haven’t even touched on righteous anger at injustice! Let’s save that for another day… 🙂

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