Beginner's Heart

via google

via google

Although I love rain (honest), I don’t think about it a lot. Truth is, I take rain for granted. The drought in California is real for me, but it doesn’t come to mind when it rains. At least not usually.

But this week, my sister-in-law is in from California, and as the Oklahoma rains sluiced the deck, she mentioned (casually!) that she hadn’t seen rain in two years.

My heart stopped.

No rain for TWO  YEARS? Wow. And even though I spent years in the desert, a city where the international school let out one day because it rained, I couldn’t fathom it. Two years w/out rainfall. Without that fragrance — rain hitting earth. Without thunder & the igneous stabs of lightening. How can I take that for granted now?

Apropos of what Itake for granted: we’re still considering a big move, away from what has been home for more than 20 years. From the prairie to the Blue Ridge Mountains. A big move. And because I’m the major instigator, my husband reminds me of what I’m apt to not think about: how much I’ll miss my sisters, nieces, nephews. How much I’ll miss my teaching connections. Our house. Our friends here.

the author's

the author’s

So that when I am quiet, and working in my everyday world, I remember: I love my jobs. I love teaching (not grading, but it’s all part of the picture). I love the deck, even when I see how it needs refinishing, and repairs. How the tree needing pruning holds a red-shouldered hawk.

The yard — even knowing I haven’t weeded. My sisters, even when I don’t want to answer the phone because I’m in the middle of something. All the pieces of my life here, now.

It takes something out of the ordinary to help me see how beautiful the ‘ordinary’ really is. Something like two years without to appreciate four inches of rain. Or the possibility of leaving — of goodbyes — to comprehend the ineffable beauty of  today.

Look around you. Pretend, just for a moment.  Pretend that you’re going away, and this place where you are now will never be yours again. How does that shift your perspective? And doesn’t it tug — just a bit — at your beginner’s heart…? I hope so.

Join the Discussion
comments powered by Disqus