Beliefnet
Beginner's Heart

glen & me wedding 1976 001 Once upon a time (and it was a very long time ago) there were a very young man and a very young woman. They fell in love & eventually (much to their parents’ delight) married.

They didn’t know any ministers — neither being church-goers — so they asked their religion professor to marry them. ‘Happy to,’ he responded. They picked some vows — Elizabethan ones, for the English major — and set a date. She bought a dress on sale; he had rings made by one of the groomsmen. It was a GREAT day.

Today, these many years later, they celebrate that day. Because sooo many great things came from it:

  • Two practically perfect sons
  • A perfect daughter-in-law
  • A beyond-perfect grandson
  • In-laws on both sides who still love us dearly
  • Travels w/ our best friends (us!)
  • The growing & ongoing flowering of a life-long love & friendship

I know; this is pretty mushy. Oh well! Today, marriage to your college sweetheart — 1st marriages for each of us — that grows, deepens, &  lasts, is indeed a throwback. It was probably equally rare in the throwback days; they were just more discreet in their miseries back then.

photo the author

photo the author

We don’t have miseries. We do occasionally have disagreements — and we used to have out’n’out knock-down/dragout fights, as my mother would say. But now? Mostly we talk things out — a lovely fruit of a gracefully aging tree. Even though no one thought our marriage would last (except me!). We’re as different as the card I gave my beloved this morning — he’s a math guy, a techie, a physicist and an engineer. A deepsea fisherman. While I’m a poet, a writer, a teacher,  a journal-keeper & a major ranter on all things.

I asked him once why he didn’t marry X or Y. “She wasn’t funny,” he replied. And that, my friends, is as much a rule for happy marriage as any. Humour. Because I wanted kids & he didn’t (we now have 2, plus part-time interests in several nephews & nieces). He wanted to have French bulldogs; I wanted big dogs. We have Frenchies. Another long list, of compromises that don’t feel like we ‘gave up’ anything.

via google

via google

Instead? They feel like old jokes (humour, remember?), retold & well-loved. Like so many of our stories: the dinner in Algeria where we were served hollow bones (true); always going to the Rijksmuseum every visit to Amsterdam; the first time I cooked for him (and caught his kitchen on fire!).

But I have to add — it also helps if you both love to travel, place great value on family, and read more than sane people… And don’t forget ice cream. You can NOT marry someone who doesn’t like ice cream. Happiest of anniversaries to us. ♥

 

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