Beginner's Heart

Beginner's Heart


old friends

 

Old friends….what a time it was, it was
A time of innocence, a time of confidences
Long ago, it must be, I have a photograph

I spent today w/ old friends, one of them the closest I come to a brother from another mother. :)  His wonderful wife — someone I would love for herself, even if she didn’t love G — and their three funny, smart, imaginative daughters. And I remembered once again how nice it is to have  history — the right kind! — with folks.

I’ve known G for more than 40 years. He introduced me to my husband. I set him up with each of my sisters. We even tried to fix our (divorced) parents up! Finally, we gave up, realising that we are as close as brother & sister without someone getting married. His wife is a dear friend in her own right, as I said, and their three girls are great fun to visit with. We go waaaay back.

2012 four sisters

photo the author’s

Lately I have given a great deal of thought to friendship, the family we make for ourselves. Because that’s how I think of my dearest friends, as family I have chosen. Who have accepted that choosing, and chosen me back.

Certainly I have family who are dear friends, and I don’t take that — or them — for granted. My nieces & nephews phone/ email/ FB regularly, and I talk to my sisters frequently.  I have a couple of cousins I hear from, as well. People I can talk books, music, politics with (that’s not everyone, believe me!). And of course my sons, my  DIL, my beloved. All of these are friends, as well as relations. We too have history.

Philbrooks_-_Loggia_-_Garten_5

Philbrook loggia ~ commons, wikimedia

But my history with my friends is freely given, freely written. No one drove me to my BFF’s, as we learned how to share, how to listen, how to negotiate those first fragile months of becoming friends. No one’s mother told G to ‘be nice!’ to the new kid at school (I met him my first summer at TU).

Tomorrow, I’ll see G, his wife A, and the three girls again. We’re going to brunch at a much-loved local museum, where they’re having a Monet exhibit (an artist I love). The girls will insist that we walk the gardens (hurray!). Later, G & A & my husband & I will exchange the looks old friends share when their young ones have fun. Mostly, we’ll remember when we were younger, crazier, and be glad we’re all still together.

It may be one of the best things about learning beginner’s heart, this recognition of how important all the faces of love are. And that history makes that the richer.

 



Previous Posts

choosing happy
Someone in my family -- probably either Aunt Bonnie or Grandmother Britton -- used to say that you choose to be happy. Each morning, she told me, you make that choice. It's a decision. So today? I'm choosing

posted 3:50:11pm Jan. 30, 2015 | read full post »

some periods you just breathe through...
At times like this, I don't know what I'd do w/out tonglen. When I'm grieving for a loved one's unhappiness, or breathing through my own, I remember: all over the world there is suffering. I know - how hokey is

posted 4:20:37pm Jan. 28, 2015 | read full post »

the fragrance of peaches
I wish I could send out, over the ethernet, the fragrance of the peach tea I made today. I wish there was a way to bottle the steam spiralling from the cup, comforting on a worrying day. Often when I worry, it

posted 12:11:07pm Jan. 26, 2015 | read full post »

with a little help from friends
You know that saying 'it takes a village'? Well, it does. For any endeavour worth remembering, it takes collaboration. Varied viewpoints, multiple hands, and a LOT of coordination. Witness my niece's shower. W

posted 5:00:00pm Jan. 25, 2015 | read full post »

talking to strangers
I know, your mother told you not to. But now you're a grown-up, and I beg you to reconsider. You're sooo missing out! Yesterday I had the loveliest conversation with two strangers -- two of the many I meet daily.

posted 10:30:46pm Jan. 23, 2015 | read full post »




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