Beginner's Heart

Beginner's Heart


rain, rain

rain

via Wikicommons

It’s raining. The gardener in me is happy, but the sun-loving reptile? Not so much.

Most things are like this, I suspect — good news/bad news. And not even ‘bad’ news. Just inconvenient, or gloomy, or … dampening. :)

Lately, whenever I sit down to write, or even think about writing, I bump up against attachment. Upādāna is the Sanskrit and Pāli word: “clinging,” “attachment” or “grasping”, although the literal meaning is “fuel.” And that’s pretty much what attachment is: fuel for the wrong kind of fire.

rainy window pane

via Google

Today, I’ve already written in my gratitude journal, trying to overcome the sense of grey cobwebs clinging to me. I’m a total sunbird — seasonal affective disorder is no joke to me. Even though these misty days are beautiful, in their own way. Which is what I’m trying to focus on, letting go of my attachment to cool sunny days. :)

So I’m getting ready to feed the birds, which always makes me happy. And I’ve mailed a bright red envelope with a card thanking my elder son & daughter-in-law for a wonderful visit. Plus I made my husband a HUGE breakfast — chicken sausage, eggs, toast w/ slatherings of butter & jam. Not to mention this post, and cleaning off my desk, and all the things you can do to move through Upādāna.

In other words? I’m working on happy. And will settle (happily) for content.



Previous Posts

FaceBook memes and gratitude
Right now on FB, my youngest sister has tagged the three of us other sisters to do the 'gratitude challenge.' In which for five days, you have to come up w/ three things a day for which you're grateful. Just thre

posted 2:24:40pm Aug. 26, 2014 | read full post »

what we do for love
We did it! Those of us who signed up for the half-marathon (and those who were insane enough to go 24 hours w/out sleep for the whole nine yards!) did it! As one of the participants noted, what kind of crazy people would spend a day sweating over poetry w/ strangers? Weeelll... Poets would. And did

posted 4:27:25pm Aug. 24, 2014 | read full post »

marathons, half-marathons and the enemy of good
I'm doing a half-marathon tomorrow. Working HARD for hours. And now that I have you thinking what a sleek athlete I must be, I'll confess: it's a poetry half-marathon. :) The Poetry Marathon 2014 (24 po

posted 3:13:54pm Aug. 22, 2014 | read full post »

our own best friends
Here's the thing, folks: who is your best friend? Who do you trust? Who has your back? And who -- within broad limits -- will you forgive almost anything? If you yourself aren't on that list, welcome to adulthood. And how sad is THAT? Buddhism talks alot about knowing your own self. There's a

posted 3:18:30pm Aug. 19, 2014 | read full post »

my mother's heart and #Ferguson
This is my wonderful family. These are my infinitely fallible and perfect sons, my perfect daughter-in-law (known in my writings as DIL), my beloved. And this is a story about empathy. Both of my sons look -- to anyone outside the immediate family -- perfect. I will not share their private pasts,

posted 12:42:13pm Aug. 18, 2014 | read full post »




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