Beginner's Heart

Beginner's Heart


time runs away from us

grief and fearAn old and dear friend lost her husband yesterday. Walking together to his work, she must have watched as he fell to the ground with a heart attack, his second in two years. He was dead by the time they arrived at the hospital.

He was younger than my husband, only a few years older than I am. And somehow, those two things — my friend’s loss of her beloved, and his relative youth — make this very personal.

All death is personal, of course. To someone. Donne was absolutely right: Any man’s death diminishes me. Except that it doesn’t feel the same. The death of most distant strangers is just that — distant. Completely off our radar. By 2:30 today, there had been about 94,000 deaths across the world. And I felt none of them like this one yesterday.

Life is always a gamble. We have no idea what’s just around the corner. Another friend told her FB friends yesterday that her routine colonscopy (she’s not even 50) turned up pre-cancerous polyps. Had she put off the colonoscopy a few more years, the polyps would have killed her. I could tell a similar story.hourglass1

I like to think I live my life fully — trying hard to pay attention to both the moments and the spaces in between each one. But my family is prone to all kinds of bad health (Alzheimer’s, diabetes, Parkinson’s, heart disease, kidney disease: we should really not reproduce!), and I know my time may well be shorter than I’d like.

But then, isn’t it always?

So I’m telling each of you: take a moment to go outside and look up. Breathe deeply, then go hug the nearest loved one. Send a card (did that today), email a note. Phone a friend. But don’t take this day — or any other — for granted. Time runs aways from us.



Previous Posts

our own best friends
Here's the thing, folks: who is your best friend? Who do you trust? Who has your back? And who -- within broad limits -- will you forgive almost anything? If you yourself aren't on that list, welcome to adulthood. And how sad is THAT? Buddhism talks alot about knowing your own self. There's a

posted 3:18:30pm Aug. 19, 2014 | read full post »

my mother's heart and #Ferguson
This is my wonderful family. These are my infinitely fallible and perfect sons, my perfect daughter-in-law (known in my writings as DIL), my beloved. And this is a story about empathy. Both of my sons look -- to anyone outside the immediate family -- perfect. I will not share their private pasts,

posted 12:42:13pm Aug. 18, 2014 | read full post »

turning hatred into love, or, the importance of Unabashed Smiles
Teeth. You need them for so many things, obviously. Eating, of course. But also speaking. And singing. And to present a certain ... image, to the world around you. Imagine all your teeth suddenly gone. Compound t

posted 7:19:07pm Aug. 17, 2014 | read full post »

heartsick reprised
I use this image alot in my blog. I wish I knew who first created it -- they deserve my undying admiration & gratitude. Because to me, this is beginner's heart. It's what I think of these days, especially, as

posted 1:33:59pm Aug. 16, 2014 | read full post »

heartsickness, the '60s, and Ferguson MO
I write daily. Often it's a note to family, or a response to a friend or colleague. Sometimes revising creative work, and usually this blog. Lately, the blog has probably saved my blood pressure (normally quite low)

posted 2:06:37pm Aug. 14, 2014 | read full post »




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