Advertisement

Beginner's Heart

Beginner's Heart

sorry doesn’t fix things …

image A former student reminded me of an exercise I used to do in class. It involved wadding up paper — a guaranteed student pleaser.

Each student would wad up a piece of paper. No other directions than that. Some would crumple it loosely; others would wad it into a tight ball.

Next, I asked them to smooth it out. Make it as much like its original smooth surface as possible. They would have spent far more time than I gave them, rather than write. :)

Advertisement

I asked them why they thought I had them do this. None had a clue. So I explained:

When you hurt someone, you crumple them like paper. Saying image‘I”m sorry’ is better than not, but it doesn’t fix things. You can’t return the victim of your carelessness (or worse) to before. Any more than you can completely smoothe out the wrinkles on the crumpled paper.

Sorry doesn’t bring back the dead. It doesn’t undo cruelty or abuse. Nor restore lost lands, nor change history. My former student said she still remembers the crumpled paper activity. It’s been at least two years since she was in my class. And I would rather she remembered this short class activity than anything I taught on research.

Advertisement

Don’t get me wrong: I absolutely believe in saying ‘I’m sorry.‘ Even as I know it fixes nothing. But it can help begin a process of healing. Let’s not pretend, however, that graft, murder, rape, and other heinous acts can be ‘fixed’ with even a sincere apology. Instead? Let’s work hard to help the victims. And recognise their losses.

 

Previous Posts

packed bags and letting go
My youngest son is readying for another adventure. One that involves rolled up clothes in duffel bags, a passport, and another continent. He can't wait. By ...

posted 8:49:55pm Apr. 28, 2016 | read full post »

fathers, and what a grandson can remind us
This is the way I always remember my father. He was much younger than I am now -- 20 years or so. Today is his birthday: he would be 99, were he still with ...

posted 5:40:36pm Apr. 23, 2016 | read full post »

interludes, illness, and coming back to focus
It's been a while. I plead flu, travel, a rambunctious grandson of not-quite-three, and life in general. Somehow, when people spoke of retirement, I had ...

posted 2:03:08pm Apr. 18, 2016 | read full post »

why poetry?
It's National Poetry Month again! I adore National Poetry Month. For one thing, it's April, and that's my birthday month. So I get presents (which I also ...

posted 6:10:44pm Apr. 03, 2016 | read full post »

social media, bad news, and hate
I have a love-hate relationship with social media these days. One year I gave it up for Lent, and I should have just kept driving in that ...

posted 8:55:03pm Mar. 28, 2016 | read full post »

Advertisement


Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.