Beginner's Heart

Beginner's Heart


someone else’s road

Dalai Lama on happinessI need to remember this. It’s easy to forget, as we move from middle age into elder-ing. That’s my term for what seems to be happening these past couple of years: nieces, nephews, former students, younger colleagues & friends — sometimes even sons! — asking for advice. Seeking input on life choices.

I’m very lucky to have a wonderful extended family. This past weekend was the wedding of one of my nieces, the one who lived w/ us for awhile. So family was in from all over, and we spent a wonderful weekend talking and then talking more. All over good food, accompanied by great music. Even the rain couldn’t dampen the good times!

But what I found was that it’s sometimes hard to articulate the difference (really to EVINCE the difference) between non-attachment and DEtachment. Of course I care what my colleagues, friends, & family do. But I’m trying (and it’s not always easy!) to remember that people have their own paths through their own lives. And their lives are not mine, in any way.

Sometimes all someone you love needs is an ear, and a hug. Not advice at all — just love. Beginner’s heart.

So I’m remembering that lovely line from a poem by the inimitable Tolkien: not all who wander are lost. And working at taking it deeply to heart ~



Previous Posts

ritual and being our own best friends
So yes, I am the person who will make Việtnamese coffee w/ a stainless steel straw, bought specifically for the occasion. Because ritual rocks. Seriously: it offers us structure and space, time to sip a cold drink and pamper ourselves, as we would a loved one. A dear friend. Someone who needs a

posted 1:09:23pm Jul. 23, 2014 | read full post »

friendship, memory, and love
My mother-in-law has a friend! This may not sound like a big deal to many of you, but those of us w/ family in elder care KNOW it's bigger than it may sound. Nursing homes -- even good ones -- aren't conducive to happiness, sadly. My beloved mother-in-law was used to her own place, her own schedule

posted 1:18:07pm Jul. 22, 2014 | read full post »

time travel
Today over lunch, my husband & I went back in time. We don't do that very often -- it's boring for other folks, and it's just not really us. At least, not most of the time... But today for some reason, it jus

posted 9:07:23pm Jul. 20, 2014 | read full post »

where memories live
This is the tag on my father's blanket. The blanket he had long before I was born, probably bought before my mother reunited with him in the Phillipines, 13 months after they married. It's a softly worn (once scratchy) wool, something like the old Pendleton three-stripe blankets (and it has three

posted 4:02:09pm Jul. 19, 2014 | read full post »

wildflowers, watermelon, and summer negligence
This is part of what I did today. Certainly the better part. After an early morning -- spent w/ a lawyer, not every my favourite thing to do -- my sister called and needed help. She'd been left holding the bag (actually, 6 bags) for her HS reunion gig tonight, and hoped her big sis would help out

posted 7:43:37pm Jul. 18, 2014 | read full post »




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