Beginner's Heart

Beginner's Heart


The grandson is coming! or, adventures in family life -

wide-eyed trinidadToday my grandson comes to stay for a visit! And we’ll be together for … weeks! Oh — and my wonderful elder son, and his super-cool and wonderful wife, and Silas-the-wonder dog, and Rufus-the-cat-with-attitude. Because we are doing a caravan/move from Tulsa to Virginia, where N&E both have new jobs, beginning SOON.

In the meantime, I get to nuzzle Trinidad, and wonder why the rest of my life isn’t as lovely as the moments spent anticipating the arrival of a little guy I barely know. What’s up with that?

In a more serious exploration of that question, I’ve been thinking about attachment. About how to enjoy my amazingly happy life without growing attached. This is one of those times when I wish my spiritual teachers were alive, nearby, and willing to talk about something this minor. Well, minor in the grand scheme of life’s machinations…

How does that work, the whole ‘be in the now’ and ‘don’t become attached’…? If you know, I wish you’d tell me. Or at least give me a hint…? Because I am VERY attached to much of my life.

Today, we bought a new birdbath. The little clamp that held the saucer off the deck rail broke in a big storm that — headlines assured me — pummeled the city. My luck held, and we only lost a few branches and a birdbath clamp.titmouse

So today we replaced the birdbath. Which meant a trip to one of my favourite places, the local Wild Birds Unlimited. In addition to upgrading our birdbath (we’re pretty serious about our backyard habitat!), we stocked up on suet blocks and seed cylinders. And sure ’nuff, when we had installed the saucer, and sat back down in the air-conditioned comfort of the breakfast room, overlooking the deck, a perky titmouse flew in. And then a sapsucker, and then a cardinal, and a spiral of sparrows, and a belligerent blue jay…

You get the picture.

This is my life, pretty much. Writing, birds, family. The farmer’s market on weekends. Today I bought blackberries, to go with the local bakery’s pound cake and vanilla bean ice cream…plus peaches for cobbler later.

So how do I let that pass, like the clouds in Big Sky Mind? Because it’s all pretty wonderful. Even when I know it’s ephemeral. Or maybe, because?

 



Previous Posts

choosing happy
Someone in my family -- probably either Aunt Bonnie or Grandmother Britton -- used to say that you choose to be happy. Each morning, she told me, you make that choice. It's a decision. So today? I'm choosing

posted 3:50:11pm Jan. 30, 2015 | read full post »

some periods you just breathe through...
At times like this, I don't know what I'd do w/out tonglen. When I'm grieving for a loved one's unhappiness, or breathing through my own, I remember: all over the world there is suffering. I know - how hokey is

posted 4:20:37pm Jan. 28, 2015 | read full post »

the fragrance of peaches
I wish I could send out, over the ethernet, the fragrance of the peach tea I made today. I wish there was a way to bottle the steam spiralling from the cup, comforting on a worrying day. Often when I worry, it

posted 12:11:07pm Jan. 26, 2015 | read full post »

with a little help from friends
You know that saying 'it takes a village'? Well, it does. For any endeavour worth remembering, it takes collaboration. Varied viewpoints, multiple hands, and a LOT of coordination. Witness my niece's shower. W

posted 5:00:00pm Jan. 25, 2015 | read full post »

talking to strangers
I know, your mother told you not to. But now you're a grown-up, and I beg you to reconsider. You're sooo missing out! Yesterday I had the loveliest conversation with two strangers -- two of the many I meet daily.

posted 10:30:46pm Jan. 23, 2015 | read full post »




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