Beginner's Heart

Beginner's Heart


anger, misunderstanding, & the cycle of suffering ~

I hurt my husband’s feelings tonight. In return, he hurt mine. None of this was intentional. It was, in fact, an object lesson in avidyā, the misunderstanding of reality, or even the self.

It doesn’t matter what actually happened. Suffice to say I wasn’t precise about what was happening, and my husband — who doesn’t hear well — misunderstood my already flawed communication. Things kind of went to hell after that.

N.B. (or ‘pay attention,’ as nota bene means): we  know each other well. We were having a nice evening. And yet this kind of ugly miscommunication can still arise. Can still derail.

If this happens to the well-intentioned, to two people w/ only each other’s best interests at heart, then what hopes do we have of actually reaching strangers? Or even friends??

Buddhism is wise to illusion, delusion, confusion. Of all ethical systems, Buddhism feels most aware (to me, at least) of how fallible is human interaction. With the best of hearts, we break those of others. With the softest voices, we wreak havoc. Even when we are careful to our strongest capability, we mess up. It’s who we are, as human beings. It’s a kind of human destiny, I suppose.

But it hurts. The doer and the done-to. The perpetrator and the victim, both (often) innocent of wrongful mind. It is as ugly to hurt someone as it is to be hurt, sometimes even worse…

I have no answers to this age-old question ~ how can we reach other? All I know is how to say I’m sorry, and how to try, next time ~ and there is sure to be a next time ~ to be more careful. More precise. With even more lovingkindness…

 



Previous Posts

chores and a plug for whining
I think there should be a National Day of Whining. And yes, I know there's a National Whiners Day (Boxing Day -- December 26th -- what's up w/ that??). But it's not the same. I don't want to be a whiner. I want

posted 7:22:32pm Jul. 29, 2014 | read full post »

time and healing
I was reminded today healing happens, but it takes time. More than a week ago, I cut my finger pretty badly. I think the verb I used was 'clove,' since I whacked it w/ my brand-new cleaver. As you can se

posted 5:40:30pm Jul. 27, 2014 | read full post »

peace, love, and teaching our children
I often think that old hippies -- those of us who were in it for the peace & love, not the sex, drugs, rock&roll -- became teachers. Because that's what the teachers I know believe in: peace & love. P

posted 11:12:28pm Jul. 25, 2014 | read full post »

ritual and being our own best friends
So yes, I am the person who will make Việtnamese coffee w/ a stainless steel straw, bought specifically for the occasion. Because ritual rocks. Seriously: it offers us structure and space, time to sip a cold drink and pamper ourselves, as we would a loved one. A dear friend. Someone who needs a

posted 1:09:23pm Jul. 23, 2014 | read full post »

friendship, memory, and love
My mother-in-law has a friend! This may not sound like a big deal to many of you, but those of us w/ family in elder care KNOW it's bigger than it may sound. Nursing homes -- even good ones -- aren't conducive to happiness, sadly. My beloved mother-in-law was used to her own place, her own schedule

posted 1:18:07pm Jul. 22, 2014 | read full post »




Report as Inappropriate

You are reporting this content because it violates the Terms of Service.

All reported content is logged for investigation.