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Beginner's Heart

Beginner's Heart

bird epiphanies ~

Anyone who’s read this blog knows our deck (and yard) are like habitat central. We have multiple feeders: nectar for hummers, in the spring; suet & seed blocks for woodpeckers and wrens (and the ubiquitous grackles); small seed for sparrows, etc., and sunflower seed for the three kinds of finches we see regularly.

This means a LOT of bird feeder fetching & toting. And sometimes, when you just want to go downstairs in your comfy jammies, and have a cuppa, feeding the birds is sooo not what you want to do.

Today I had this epiphany (my older son and I call them baby enlightenments :)): life isn’t about efficiency. It’s certainly not for efficiency.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about living ‘in the moment.’ Easier said than done. But today, schlepping the bird feeders from the deck to the garage and back, while staging the laundry, and wondering if I should stop in the laundry room to start it, and REALLY just wanting to go sit w/ my tea, I woke up. This is it, I thought. This is life. I know. Pretty hokey.

But seriously? I was trying to do at least three things at once (more if you count opening two doors). And thinking about two more down the line. And enjoying nothing.

I stopped. Took a breath. Put the bird feeders on the floor. Closed the door behind me. Opened the door in front. And thought about the birds. Really thought about the birds. I walked outside, into the soft grey March day, and did one thing at a time.

No big thing. Except that it was. I spend so much time not HERE. Thinking about what’s coming. Reflecting/ second-guessing what’s passed. And missing all the now.

You’d think I would have learned this by now, right? But here’s the deal: I’ve had to learn it over and over and over. And I’ll probably have to learn it yet again. In the meantime? I’m going to feed the birds. Just that. Just that one thing. And that’s enough.

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