Beliefnet
Beginner's Heart

Today is a blond/ senior/ scattered day. So far, I’ve sent out my course packet for this semester’s class to last semester’s class (they were highly amused :)). I’ve forgotten why I had to go to the store, and left (really). I’ve stood at the kitchen counter staring at the squash for tonight’s dinner, totally lost in reverie that has nothing to do w/ squash, dinner, or even the colour yellow. And I’m (mostly) okay w/ this.

It used to bother me, this scattered brain syndrome. At least in others — most notably, my mother. As the one who had to count the many pieces of luggage when we made one of our (several) moves overseas, as well as the four kids, it drove me crazy, my mother’s inability to think in a linear manner.

And now, here I am. Complete w/ my mother’s love of pink luggage, which I counted so often I can see it clearly, still. My  mother’s train case — pink & orange Samsonite — was one of the last things she recognised.

So this whole scattered thing runs in the family. Making it hard to be mindful, calm, or even reflective, some days. And apparently today is one of those…:)

When that happens, I’ve learned not to fight it. To just laugh, and let it remind me of happier times with Mother, of traveling with my three sisters, of being the eldest. I try to do the whole Buddhist thing of inhabiting whatever thought turns up. Even if the thought is just a fragment, completely out of place.

I just wish I could remember what was so interesting about the squash…:)

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