Beliefnet
Because This Is Your Life

When you walk into an Italian restaurant and see a man making pizzas…what thoughts are going through your mind?

“Make me a good pizza.”

“He’s Italian.”

“He’s just a worker here.”

Or perhaps…

“What does he know…he only works in an Italian restaurant.”

I used to think this way too…

Until I started working in these restaurants right out of high school and then while going to college.

And it was in one of these Italian restaurants…while living in Coral Springs Florida back in 1989…that I heard arguably the most profound words of wisdom from anyone in my life.

My then “boss” said to me one day, “it’s nice to be nice…but it’s not nice to be too nice.”

I immediate “got it.”

What I didn’t immediately “get” was how this could apply in other ways throughout a person’s life.

So life for me went on.

However his words of wisdom has always—to this day—stuck with me.

And then while going through my typical daily “brainstorming session” a few years ago…I realized how this pizza man’s “little quote” can and does make a difference in every human being’s life…

Except in this case it has to do with “feeling good.”

And with this came a revelation…and a question:

“It’s good to feel good…but is it not good to feel “too good?”

This also brought to mind the thought:

“Is feeling good dangerous?”

1. Dr. Feelgood

What happens when you go to the doctor? It usually has to do with relieving yourself from some type of physical—possibly even psychological and emotional—pain.

And how is this usually done?

By being prescribed some type of pharmaceutical drug…it can even be an over the counter remedy.

Now why would you want to do this?

Because obviously you want to feel better…you want to feel good.

And certainly this is important…to you…to me…to just about everyone.

However…

There are times when this is not a good thing to do…because it can and frequently does result in getting “hooked” on the pharmaceutical drug or remedy…that is designed to help.

And we all know what happens as a result of this.

As a matter of fact…

This is also true when it comes to “feeling good”…especially always trying to feel good.

Now whether this “feeling good high” comes from trying to live in sustainable states of happiness, joy, or bliss…the same is true.

And this goes back to the pizza man inspired quote I mentioned earlier which now goes like this…

“It’s good to feel good…but it’s not good to feel too good.”

With this being obvious there’s still a majority of the people who will ignore it.

Why?

2. The Fantasy Network

When a doctor prescribes some type of drug that makes you feel better—even when you know the risks involved—you’ll have a high probability of listening to him (or her) anyway.

The reason…

Because he (or she) is a perceived authority figure.

And even if your health got worse from the drug he/she prescribed to you, most likely you wouldn’t hold him/her responsible…you’d most likely blame yourself in some way.

What’s even stranger than this?

You’d have a high probability of “going back for more” of that drug…or possibly another…which makes you “feel good.”

And within here lies why most people will ignore the pizza man inspired wisdom of…

“It’s good to feel good…but it’s not good to feel too good.”

And this is certainly right at the center of the personal development and self help gurus that are promoting the idea of always feeling good.

Except here the questions is…

“Are they living that way?”

Is the person who’s promoting that you can live a “happy”, “joyful”, and “blissful” life… are they actually living that way?

Or…

Are they just “selling these temporary feel good drugs” because they know these fantasies sell?

Now of course I’m not saying to not feel good…because it is important…and certainly healthy.

What I am saying is…

If you get into the habit of trying to feel “too good”…or trying to “feel good” all the time…it can and does lead to “addiction” in very much the same way as the typical addictions…drugs, sex, food…it will have you coming back for more.

Except in the case of “feeling good”…it will involve trying to live a happy, joyful, blissful life.

Look in your own life.

Have you been able to live in a state of happiness, joy, and bliss all the time…of course not.

Yet…

These fantasies are being sold to people all the time.

And why does it work so well?

Because humans in general are fantasy driven…meaning that they try to seek the one sidedness of “feeling good”…in the form of trying to live happy, joyful, and blissful lives.

And when you take a look in your own life you’ll see this to be unrealistic…even though the person “selling it” appears to be living this unrealistic life.

The bottom line is…

You have two sides to your nature…the positive and negative…they both serve you and humanity…and in line with the divine perfection of how the Universe works on your behalf.

This now leads to your actual purpose…

3. Falling in… or feeling…love

Feeling good, like everything else in the Universe is two sided. In other words, feeling good at times can be a “positive” force in your life…at times a “negative.” Together they make up your purpose in life… Love.

And when I speak of love, it’s not in the romantic sense…

It’s being able to see both sides of life as being purposeful.

This is why there’s no such thing as “falling in love.”

Instead…

You can only “feel love.”

And feeling love is…you guessed it…seeing life in a two sided way…knowing that every person and situation has an equal amount of happiness and sadness, joy and sorrow, positive and negative.

It may not seem that way in your perception…but in truth it’s balanced equally.

And this goes back to “feeling good”…except here it’s doing so while maintaining a “healthy balance” along the way.

And one of the best ways to get started—like I mentioned a moment ago— is to know that you’re a two sided person living in a two sided world. You have moments of happy and sad, joy and sorrow, peace and war…and this is healthy.

While maintaining this”healthy balance” of feeling good…you won’t get too “up” when things go your way…you won’t get too “down” when things don’t go your way.

Certainly…

You’ll have moments when you may feel better than others…just like you’ll have moments when you’ll feel “worse” than others.

However…

By maintaining this “healthy balance” of feeling good you won’t get caught up in the roller coaster of emotions that leads you to coming back for more of the “feel good drug” so to speak.

Remember…

When you realize how the very thing you’re trying to get away from (sadness, sorrow, and challenge)…how these serve your life…you won’t get caught up in the “feel good” mania that is actually the source of most people’s suffering.

The result…

You’ll have a newfound insight into the magnificence and brilliance of who you are…

Even those things you felt you never had within you.

They’re there.

It’s always been there.

And it’s there for you to demonstrate the tremendous amount of value you contribute to the world through the uniqueness of who you are.

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