Beliefnet
Because This Is Your Life

On a humid August night several years ago I sat in my car outside of a restaurant.

The occasion?

My family was taking me out to dinner because they had no idea when they would see me again. And while waiting for them to arrive I received a most unusual call…it was my attorney.

In a way I was expecting him to call. Because after all he was involved in drawing up the legal documents for a business partnership I was about to become involved with.

There were actually two things that were unusual about his call.

One, I expected him to call me a few days earlier. It wasn’t like him to be late like that. And two, what he told me on the phone. It threw me off guard. It left me with a sinking feeling. It left me feeling whether I should believe him or not.

I didn’t have time to think about it because a few minutes before I got off the phone with him, my family arrived and were waiting for me inside the restaurant.

However, it did leave me with— what I knew was—the most important decision of my life up to that point.

It also left me with a question that was eating away at me (ironically just as I was getting ready to eat dinner with my family)…

Do I trust him or do I trust myself?

At that moment I got out of my car and went inside the restaurant.

1. Friendly enemies- As I was eating dinner with my family there were two thoughts going through my mind. The first was, “after tonight when will be the next time I’ll see them again?” And the second thought was, “Do I trust what my attorney told me on the phone or do I trust myself?”

Let me pause for a moment and ask you…

“How much do you trust yourself?

…When you’re making decisions about your life, and especially ones that are about to change the course of your future.

In these types of situations do you find yourself hesitating? Do you get that “angel” on one side of your shoulder telling you one thing, while the “little red devil” is on your other shoulder telling you the opposite?

And in the process do you find yourself “pretending” to be attentive with others, while you’re really sweating bullets about what to do?

This is exactly what was going on that night while sitting in the Friendly’s Restaurant with my family.

In fact, it’s quite ironic that the name of the restaurant was Friendly’s because what my attorney told me on the phone was something that a caring friend would tell another friend.

My attorney had called to tell me that he, and my “soon to be” business partner’s attorney had just drawn up the legal agreement for the business partnership I was about to enter in to.

And what gave me the sinking feeling was that my attorney said, “If I were you I wouldn’t enter into this agreement.”

Of course I asked him why.

And he said…

“I just got done speaking with (my soon to be business partner’s attorney) and he also said that your client (meaning me) should not go through with this.”

As my attorney told me this he said, “keep this between us because I’m not supposed to tell you what the other attorney said.” I asked him why he and the other attorney felt this way and he said, “It’s a gut feeling each of us have about this agreement.”

So here I was sitting inside a restaurant in New Jersey with my family the night before I was to drive across the country to California…while all of my furniture was sitting on a moving truck en route to California at that moment.

And I still had the question, “do I trust my attorney” or “do I trust myself”, because after all I knew my “soon to be” business partner better than he or the other attorney.

At that point I came to a decision.

But I was still asking…

How much do I trust myself?

2. Heads or heads- Leading up to this point in my life, there had been major decisions that I made. These ranged from the different relationships I’ve had with others to the different jobs I worked to the different places I’ve lived, and everything else in between.

In other words, every decision I made turned out to be a big one in some way…

But for some reason I was getting mixed feelings after I spoke to my attorney.

After all, each decision you make is just like a coin…it has two sides, “heads” and “tails”. And this is something that was going through my mind. It’s also something that you think about any time you make a decision…

There’s the “what happens if everything goes my way” and “what happens if the worse case scenario happens” thoughts going through your mind.

And typically what happens? It seems like one extreme or another takes place.

But what’s really happening is that no matter what decision you make there are an equal amount of positives and negatives. It may not seem like that, especially if the decision you made turned out to be “disastrous in your perception.

With this being the case, is it disastrous after all?

The same thing happens if the decision you make seems like it was the best thing you ever did. It may appear that everything turned out positive but did it really?

Why am I bringing this up?

Because you may have the feeling that the decisions you make are like a one sided coin, it’s either a “heads” or “heads” outcome. And that if the decisions you make over time turns out as “tails” in your mind, what happens?

You may get depressed, have regrets, and certainly have a high probability of not trusting yourself (or anyone else).

Understand this…

When you realize that every decision you make has an equal amount of positives and negatives attached to it, you’ll have less fear and a higher degree of trust in yourself…

And you’ll be less likely to regret what you did or didn’t do.

3. Your law of life- Even though my attorney said to not go through with it, I decided to and left for California the next day. After driving 3000 miles and two weeks later I had a “funny” feeling and backed out of the deal. As a result I never got back the $30,000 I gave to my now former business partner.

So two months after getting that phone call from my attorney it was all said and done. I found myself back in New Jersey and did get to see my family again…even though it was sooner than I thought.

Now you may be wondering why I still made the decision to go through with it after both attorneys said it wasn’t a good idea.

Was it because I didn’t believe them? Was it because I wanted to find out for myself? Did it have anything to do with trusting (or not trusting) myself?

You could say it was all three.

But one thing was certain…

It followed the law of life and that is, no matter what happens you can’t have one side without the other. In every crisis there’s a hidden blessing and in every blessing there’s a hidden crisis. In the apparent chaos there is a hidden order that gives the true meaning to your life.

And one of those hidden blessings for me is that I’m now doing what I love while living my true purpose.

Another hidden blessing is that I’m now able to trust myself on a much higher level which has helped me to make the “right” decisions while at the same time be able to “weed out” the “wrong” decisions.

It may seem strange and it is…

If I had chosen to listen to my attorney’s advice—even though he was ultimately right—it is very probable that I’d be living a life of “shoulds”, “have tos”, and “supposed tos”…

Whereas I’m now living a life of “I love tos”, “I’m inspired tos”, and “I’m blessed tos.”

And the same is true for you.

What is your law of life and how is it playing out?

Remember…

No matter where you are, no matter what you’ve been through, and no matter what you’ve done or not done you’re worthy of living a magnificent life. And a very big part of this is being able to trust yourself.

Because the bottom line is…

You’re a special person with so much to offer the world through your uniqueness, brilliance, and grace.

Trust yourself and be the shining start that you are.

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