Beliefnet
Because This Is Your Life

How can something that is so helpful in your life actually be the same thing most people will say to never do…

All because it’s so called “bad” for you?

…While at the same time, these same people are trying to do themselves.

And it has to do with two simple words…

“Loving yourself”

Now there’s also something else involved here that is only seen by others part of the time… and by you all of the time.

Because when you’re fully aware of this, not only are you able to love yourself…but you’ll also be in complete control of your life.

And along with that you’ll be the person who you really are.

But in order for this to happen it’s important for you to make it a habit of asking (and then answering) the following question…

What if people knew who you really are?

1. Wizard of Oz Syndrome- What did you think the first time you found out who the wizard was in the Wizard of Oz? Surprised…right? Why? Because he wasn’t what he appeared to be.

He was made out to be this “larger than life” character that had people somewhat terrified in his presence. And then what happened? Dorothy’s dog Toto pulled back the curtain on the wizard and there stood an average looking man…who was actually the very opposite of what he appeared to be.

So how does this relate to you?

How many times have you seen someone you know—it could be a friend, your relationship partner, someone in the personal development industry—act one way in public and then privately is the complete opposite?

If it’s in the case of a relationship, how many times have you seen the person you’re with be all smiles and well liked publicly…and then when you’re the only one around them, they’re the complete opposite?

How about those in the personal development industry? The best example here are those who say you can live a happy, positive, and joyful life…but are they living that way? No they’re not.

And you’ll see these same type of trends among many different people.

Is this a bad thing…of course not. It’s an “aware” thing.

Why is this important?

Because the fact is that you have both sides. You’re nice and mean, happy and sad, positive and negative, kind and cruel, and all of the other equal and opposite pairs of traits.

And trying to put on a facade and being “fake” by claiming that you’re more of one side than the other may fool other people but it’s not fooling yourself.

Yes, it’s important to act appropriate in certain social situations. But at the same time it’s important to keep in mind that you have both sides.

It’s also incredibly important to be aware that other people are always watching what you do…even if they may not say it.

This can range from your children watching your every move…to your friends…to those at the store…and to those at your job or the industry you’re in.

So, the big takeaway here is to always be aware of your actions…even the ones you think don’t matter.

Well actually there’s another life transforming takeaway that’s certainly worth mentioning…

But first let’s talk more about this whole idea of loving yourself.

2. Hello me Hello you- Growing up and all through my teenage years I’d quite often hear people talk about others who had an “ego”, who were “conceited”…and in almost every case was mentioned that this person “loved themselves.”

One such example was my next door neighbor and friend Gino.

Gino was one of those kids that really stood out. At the age of 12 he could have easily passed for being 18 and quite possibly even in his 20’s. And he sure played the part.

He would drive his brother’s Firebird and Corvette. He would have one girl after another over at his house. And he was also seen as being conceited, stuck up, and “loving himself.”

That’s what people saw on the outside.

But there was another side to Gino. Being that I lived next door to him I got to see this other side. The side where he was humble, would do favors for you, and would offer you something to eat anytime you came over to his house.

Along with this, I naturally got to see the side everyone else saw and in more detail.. What was interesting with Gino is that he was consistent. He had both sides, except that he showed it more often…while those who were criticizing him, they were hiding it.

And then I came to the conclusion that this kid was being his authentic self.

Not only that but what most people never saw with Gino is that he worked his butt off. His parents owned a bakery and quite often he was up at 3am to go to work…and then to school at 8am.

Now of course there’s a good reason I’m bringing this up…

Because it contains a certain life lesson as it applies to “loving yourself.” And that lesson involves valuing yourself. Some people see it as being conceited, stuck up, or having an ego. It’s not unless you take it to extremes.

The wisdom in what can be learned from Gino is that “loving yourself” is not about being conceited, having an ego, being stuck up, while not caring about others…

It’s about honoring and valuing yourself enough while at the same time not being afraid of what other people think about you.

And this now leads to that second takeaway I mentioned a few minutes ago…

3. Being on world TV- Earlier I mentioned about something that’s only seen by others part of the time and by you all of the time. And when you’re fully aware of this, not only are you able to love yourself, but you’ll also be in complete control of your life.

This second takeaway has to do with you being on TV.

Not just any TV…but world TV.

Really take the time to think about this…

If everything you did, said, and thought was broadcasted 24 hours a day on a world TV—and everyone knew everything about you—would you have a problem with that? Would you not want this to happen?

And along with this…

If the entire world could view you on world TV that featured you 24 hrs a day, every day, would you be able to love yourself?

All of the habits and mannerisms you have that you don’t like about yourself—what you do behind closed doors when no one is looking—and everything else in between…if the world knew about them, would you still go about your business throughout your life?

Because if you would want to hide any of your private life and worry if someone found out who you really are…then you have not learned to love yourself.

Again, this has to do with realizing that you’re a two sided person. Even though in certain situations you’ll call upon one side or the other, the fact is that you have both the positives and negatives, the things you like and despise about yourself…equally.

And that anything you see in someone else is a trait you have as well.

This is what happened with the people who saw Gino as being “stuck up”, having an “ego”, and being “conceited”…the only way those people could have seen Gino that way is if they were “stuck up”, had an “ego” and were “conceited” in their own unique way.

The only difference is that they were hiding it in public…but behind closed doors were showing it. And this is something you’ve done. I’ve done it. We’ve all done it.

Now here’s the other life transforming part of this…

If you have no problem about people finding out what goes on “behind closed doors”…or in other words, when you’re able to take your privates public…then you’ve learned how to love yourself.

So what if people knew who you really are?

You’d still have people liking and disliking you.

You’d still have people supporting and challenging you.

You’d still have people praising and criticizing you.

And you’d still have people loving you…

For the true magnificence of who you really are. For the tremendous amount of value you bring to the world through your uniqueness. And for the special person that you are.

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